Single FTM's & Femme's

[stepfordfemme]

Originally Posted by Hominid

At least I can work for other people who have their kids and families at home - my Christmas gift to my amazing peers.

My biggest problem in meeting people is my work schedule. And being an introvert. And living in such a queer-strong area -sort of. Grown up queers/FtM's, etc. are few - it's very traditionally crunchy at my age. I lean towards slightly younger women, and that generation (early 30's) is more butch-femme ... or bisexual women. Lots and lots of bisexual women. But it seems they are more interested in EITHER a born male or a woman ... dick or no dick seeming to be the focus. BUT ... in you're in your early 20's and FtM, you have it made. Very much known and femmes are very interested. I'm not sure how that will look at those cute boys become balding, hairy men ...

Anyway, it's really odd to be in such a queer friendly place and just disappear into the liberal masses as an apparent cis-male. When I flirt with "my type" - slightly andro women, strong straight women, or funky tattooed geeks, I am looked at like I'm nuts. I wonder if this at all parallels the experience of the "invisible femme". Then again, I just want to move in the world at large as male, even though I'm not sure how I would announce what is in my pants or how I was born.

More prattling ... trying to keep the board going more than whining ... no dead animals in 12 hours!

The bolded section may be your experience, but I just want to say there are femmes (including my young fine twentysomething femme self) that care a lot more about than c*ck/No c*ck.

I've been partnered with one of those young twentysomething (very hot) transguys, that you think may have it made. Please talk to these guys. Talk on this site. Just to see if their experiences validate your opinion.

We all have a tough road... femmes that feel invisible and trans men that don't pass. Men that deal with the exact issues you speak of. It might not change how you feel, but you might find some people to share your experiences with. Maybe they'll hook you up with a hottie tattoo'ed geek they know. As a trans-sensual femme, believe me the dating scene is no easier on us. I feel/have felt like I need a sign on my forehead.

Maybe you should try talking to some queer Id'ed or pansexual/sapiosexual/ whatever new beautiful word-- some of these ladies have. Gender identity for femmes/females is just as varied as with the trans community.

And, as a woman, I would hope that my love for my partner would surpass any barrier. I will someday not be my young fabulous self, and I would hope that my man would want me JUST the same. Love is all encompassing. Lust is just the physical.

Nice step off for some discussion!

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Originally Posted by Hominid

At least I can work for other people who have their kids and families at home - my Christmas gift to my amazing peers.

My biggest problem in meeting people is my work schedule. And being an introvert. And living in such a queer-strong area -sort of. Grown up queers/FtM's, etc. are few - it's very traditionally crunchy at my age. I lean towards slightly younger women, and that generation (early 30's) is more butch-femme ... or bisexual women. Lots and lots of bisexual women. But it seems they are more interested in EITHER a born male or a woman ... dick or no dick seeming to be the focus. BUT ... in you're in your early 20's and FtM, you have it made. Very much known and femmes are very interested. I'm not sure how that will look at those cute boys become balding, hairy men ...

Anyway, it's really odd to be in such a queer friendly place and just disappear into the liberal masses as an apparent cis-male. When I flirt with "my type" - slightly andro women, strong straight women, or funky tattooed geeks, I am looked at like I'm nuts. I wonder if this at all parallels the experience of the "invisible femme". Then again, I just want to move in the world at large as male, even though I'm not sure how I would announce what is in my pants or how I was born.

More prattling ... trying to keep the board going more than whining ... no dead animals in 12 hours!

Originally Posted by Nadeest

It definitely gets 'interesting', Hominid, having to have that 'talk' with someone that you are interested in, when you tell them that you are ts, and what that implies. I've had to do it once, with a male, so far, and he completely lost interest at that point. A pity, but it is a lot better response then what could have happened.

Originally Posted by stepfordfemme

The bolded section may be your experience, but I just want to say there are femmes (including my young fine twentysomething femme self) that care a lot more about than c*ck/No c*ck.

I've been partnered with one of those young twentysomething (very hot) transguys, that you think may have it made. Please talk to these guys. Talk on this site. Just to see if their experiences validate your opinion.

We all have a tough road... femmes that feel invisible and trans men that don't pass. Men that deal with the exact issues you speak of. It might not change how you feel, but you might find some people to share your experiences with. Maybe they'll hook you up with a hottie tattoo'ed geek they know. As a trans-sensual femme, believe me the dating scene is no easier on us. I feel/have felt like I need a sign on my forehead.

Maybe you should try talking to some queer Id'ed or pansexual/sapiosexual/ whatever new beautiful word-- some of these ladies have. Gender identity for femmes/females is just as varied as with the trans community.

And, as a woman, I would hope that my love for my partner would surpass any barrier. I will someday not be my young fabulous self, and I would hope that my man would want me JUST the same. Love is all encompassing. Lust is just the physical.

Nice step off for some discussion!

adding my voice and wondering again if I should have started a whole new thread instead of using one that already existed. As a 40 something trans guy not a FTM I have to agree that gender identity is very varied for both femmes and male id'd individuals. As one such femme on here pointed out when I asked where were the ladies that like guys like me...they are every where. Everywhere except where I live that is *laugh*

As a guy that does not always pass and as one that has had his face slapped when I did for being honest about my birth gender I can tell you it is not fun for me. Yet I do not give up and choose to not flirt with straight women because I want more then lust. I can find lust any where. I am discovering after finding this site that there is a wide range of gender identities out there and a wide range of experiences in those gender ids. I can tell you the discussion is just as hard for someone like me that is trans but chooses not to transition and tries everything possible to pass.
That I love women of different gender identified for who they are as a person. Yet I post in the single FTM thread because it is more honest then posting in the general singles thread though Id o post there too. Personally I think because you live in Mass. you have more options then most I know because I used to live in that state.

I know I am rambling...a little tired and not enough coffee yet
Guess I am trying to say I agree with Stepfordfemme maybe try talking to some of the other guys on this site and not limit it to the FTMs though talk to them also and you may find that all of feel invisible and you may just find the kind of person your interested in flirting with or having a relationship with. Maybe talk to some of the femmes too I know I learn a lot from them.

Anyone want or need coffee I know I do......

[Leigh]

Just talk to a different variety of people, learn what you can about each individual person because we are all different, and know that us gals who love each and every one of you are out there waiting to be found

[Hominid]

Alix, Leigh - Thanks both. I'm not sure I suggested I don't talk to lots of femmes/butches/FtM's - but to keep my reply succinct (not very good at this) - I talk to all sorts of people, and glean my opinion/experience of this area from that in particular, which is why I have thoughts about the experiences of some of the different gender presentations and identities and what they experience compared to myself. I know far fewer FtM's - my friends are on different parts of the queer spectrum, from butch lesbian bottoms to femme tops.
As you pointed out in bold, this is my experience, a generalization of the gender politics and identities and how different generations move within the continuum and relate where I live.

[Hominid]

Just popping my head in ... there's an echo!

[Duchess]

Good morning everybody. I'm glad I found this thread. Looking forward to making new friends. Anybody from Atlanta?


Duchess

[Hominid]

Good morning Duchess - welcome.

I'm sure someone is from Atlanta, sadly, not me though.

[Darbonaire]

" I know far fewer FtM's -"


If you ever want to talk I'm around....it would be nice to have a guy to chat with too....lots of issues that only we can understand...<NOT puttig anyone down or anything>......it's just that whole "walk a mile" thing....lol

Anyway, i am SOOOOOO glad to be back on the Planet.....thanks all of you !

[Heavenleahangel]

Good Morning from the rainy, dreary Upstate, NY (Albany). I was so hoping the rain wouldn't come so early today. It sux being single cuz all I wanna do is crawl back in bed, snuggle up with someone special and watch a movie or something. I can make waffles...

[Darbonaire]

<passing my plate>......LOL

Enjoy the day as best you can anyway kiddo.....you never know....THIS might be the dreary day you win the lottery or something...<smile>...