Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

girl_dee · 10-02-2012, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Electrocell

That was why I was asking if I was out of date when it came to stuff like this . Haven't dated in a long time and am willing to ask the the advice of the all the ladies . Thank you.

You are truly a nice gent...

thedivahrrrself · 10-02-2012, 03:51 PM

There's a place for talk about exes, one of the first things you want to know about someone is why they're single. It brings up red flags if it's ALL the ex's fault, and you are always the innocent victim in the ends of your relationships. It's also a big red flag if you go on & on about an ex. You're probably not over her yet.

I second everything gaea said about obsession with "hotness" - HUGE turn-off!

And if I ever decide to date Dee, I'm bringing a fishing pole

imperfect_cupcake · 10-02-2012, 04:17 PM

I think it just depends on who you are as a person regarding ex stuff. Since I don't want to date, I just want to hang out, then that means there are no "rules" about what one can say or talk about. I get to know them without being treated differently than a friend. And that way, I know a bit better about who they are, and for them to know who I am.

One of the things I HATE is when people stop the "best foot forward" bullshit and suddenly become who they are when relaxed and a friend. They aren't usually as attentive or interested or ...whatever. I'd like to get to know and accept how to be a real friend to someone (and vs versa) first. Will that turn into a relationship? who knows. More concerned about the friendship.

So as one's friend, yeah, actually, I wanna hear all about it - lay it on me. I actually also understand missing someone but not wanting to be with them. I don't know... after a marriage ending 5000 miles from home?? I "get" that sometimes you just won't get over what happened/an ex. No matter how much therapy you have. And I'd like to hear all about it.

If someone though, like stated, is never to blame, doesn't see how they contributed to any of the relationships ending, is excessively angry (instead of eyebally irritated) over something that happened and never wants to talk about it? not my kind of relationship person. We won't get along.

Would prefer to hang out and learn all that shit first.

And I don't mean on line getting to know you. I don't do that anymore. So if people are talking about long online dicussions and then meeting for a date... no. I mean meeting up asap to hang out as friends so one is at least reasonably local. Luckliy I can do that as I don't live in a small town with no transport.

No more internet stuff, I spent 12 years doing that! too much build up for me. that makes me tired too, along with the thought of dating...

10-02-2012, 03:51 PM	#2
thedivahrrrself Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Sapiosexual Femme Relationship Status: Mrs. Grumpy Cat Tournaments Won: 4 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: 8,660 feet high in the Andes Posts: 2,640 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,519 Thanked 11,656 Times in 2,292 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	There's a place for talk about exes, one of the first things you want to know about someone is why they're single. It brings up red flags if it's ALL the ex's fault, and you are always the innocent victim in the ends of your relationships. It's also a big red flag if you go on & on about an ex. You're probably not over her yet. I second everything gaea said about obsession with "hotness" - HUGE turn-off! And if I ever decide to date Dee, I'm bringing a fishing pole __________________ Small business owners around the world use microfinance to help expand their businesses and provide for their families. You can help! Click here to learn about Kiva.

10-02-2012, 04:17 PM	#3
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I think it just depends on who you are as a person regarding ex stuff. Since I don't want to date, I just want to hang out, then that means there are no "rules" about what one can say or talk about. I get to know them without being treated differently than a friend. And that way, I know a bit better about who they are, and for them to know who I am. One of the things I HATE is when people stop the "best foot forward" bullshit and suddenly become who they are when relaxed and a friend. They aren't usually as attentive or interested or ...whatever. I'd like to get to know and accept how to be a real friend to someone (and vs versa) first. Will that turn into a relationship? who knows. More concerned about the friendship. So as one's friend, yeah, actually, I wanna hear all about it - lay it on me. I actually also understand missing someone but not wanting to be with them. I don't know... after a marriage ending 5000 miles from home?? I "get" that sometimes you just won't get over what happened/an ex. No matter how much therapy you have. And I'd like to hear all about it. If someone though, like stated, is never to blame, doesn't see how they contributed to any of the relationships ending, is excessively angry (instead of eyebally irritated) over something that happened and never wants to talk about it? not my kind of relationship person. We won't get along. Would prefer to hang out and learn all that shit first. And I don't mean on line getting to know you. I don't do that anymore. So if people are talking about long online dicussions and then meeting for a date... no. I mean meeting up asap to hang out as friends so one is at least reasonably local. Luckliy I can do that as I don't live in a small town with no transport. No more internet stuff, I spent 12 years doing that! too much build up for me. that makes me tired too, along with the thought of dating...