National Coming Out Day

[The_Lady_Snow]

Our youth center (JASMYN) had a breakfast Sunday for Coming Out Day, they focused on young POC youth, cultural divides when coming out.

Happy Comimg Out Day Everyone!!!!

[DapperButch]

It does feel less relevant than it did 20 years ago. I was wondering why until I looked and read the article that reported that the first National Coming Out Day was in 1987. Now it makes more sense to me!

I know someone (not on this board), whose first visit to a clinic for her hormone therapy is today. She wasn't even aware it was NCOD until I told her. I am excited for her!

[pinkgeek]

Every year this day is as relevant if not more so because every year that passes someone, somewhere has been killed or committed suicide or been beaten or harassed or felt unloved because they came out. Almost every year I get unfriended by some family member who had their head in the sand about my queer "lifestyle" (cause God knows I got a toaster and gogo boots for choosing to be queer! wtf?) and happened to read facebook today and got a clue.

Somewhere there are people who fear loosing their jobs and loved ones if they are true to themselves and do come out. In most of the world getting married is illegal and in many places being queer will get you locked up or killed.

So yes, this day is without a doubt important. I live as out as I can because somewhere, probably not far from me is a queer who can't. Color me political, perhaps it's my age or my red hair or my tattoos or the swish of my queer ass hips, but equality is both far away and around the corner. Yay for today!

[pinkgeek]

OMG I have to do this next year!!!!!!! Fabulous idea!!!

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Our youth center (JASMYN) had a breakfast Sunday for Coming Out Day, they focused on young POC youth, cultural divides when coming out.

Happy Comimg Out Day Everyone!!!!

[Dance-with-me]

The relevance is only relativ, even in the U.S. - to give some perspective, my rural college just had its first ever meeting of a gay-straight alliance less Han a month ago.

[easygoingfemme]

My best ever was ... 16 years ago? I was hanging out with Leslie Feinberg. It'll never get better than that, but I do still enjoy the day.

Actually it was the night before National Coming Out day that I was with Leslie but still, I count it. It was a pre-party event.

[Abigail Crabby]

Candles
For all our brothers and sisters who live in fear of death for coming out.
We in this nation fought hard for this freedom - I pray everyone everywhere can come out of the closet one day and into the sunshine.

[stepfordfemme]

I will explain to you why days like this matter to me in the form of a story from my life.

I grew up in a very very very small town. Rural. Religious. Where everyone knew your business, your parents and has watched you grow up.

I met R in high school. R was one of those guys that drove me insane with rage from day one. He was a religious zealot, rude, and a bit of a chauvinist. He would spew off at the mouth with reasons for women to stay at home in the kitchen and why gays were evil. We were like fire and gasoline for arguments. I was feminist queer girl and I had a temper to back it up.

Mind you, R was also effeminate, loved Elton John, and a whole slew of gay stereotypes.

We had one of the weirdest friendships. Mainly formed from being outcasts and a shared off class in our high school schedules. One day R frustrated me so much I said “R, I know what your problem is, you’re so f*cking far in the closet, you can’t even see it.” And he just looked at me, and he got up and walked away with tears in his eyes.

R became one of the most flamboyant gay men that I have ever met. R was Elton John the next Halloween at school. We all knew, but it was never talked about. R and I became closer than ever. Like an odd couple.

R’s family kicked him out later that year (I never knew the exact details). We would have been around 16/17. He moved along between homelessness,living with older men, working three jobs to live in a dive apartment. His family were religious fanatics (they were JW/Baptists or something similar, I can’t remember). They cut off all ties to R. He was shunned completely.

Within a few months of our high school graduation a friend sent me an email saying that she had bad news. R had committed suicide. He couldn’t leave the small town. He couldn’t get away. Coming out/being gay/dealing with all of the repercussions made him feel like he had to take his life.

Not all of us have the privilege to be out and proud in all areas of our lives. Not all of us care to. Not all of us will ever be able to life our authentic lives. The closets still exist. My prayer today is that young people stay strong. Get out of the small towns if you need to. Find others. Be a friend.

I support the “It gets Better” project. I think one thing that we need to do is be there for people when they do come out. Whether they are 14 or 41. Let them all know that there is a happy, fulfilling life out there for them. It just takes being brave.

So today I miss him. I will listen to some Elton in his memory. Maybe you will too.

Rich, I hope there’s a bit more sparkle in heaven because of you.

[Stud_puppy1991]

Well, I know that the group I mentor is having a brunch and we are going to watch videos of other youth and their journey, as well as teach them some of the movements that took place. Then, I myself am thinking of doing a couple of video blogs.

[Little Fish]

I came out in the Fall of 1981--31 years ago now.

I came out to my two best friends at the time--Chris and Patty. I remember sitting with them at a table in our high school library before school started. I didn't plan it--or even really think about it actually. (I had known for years, finally understanding why I felt "different" from about age 4 or so-)

I said simply, "Hey. I wanna tell you guys something--I'm gay." ------
p a u s e...
Chris: "okay" * smiles*
Patty "yeah, okay.....umm, did you do your Social Studies homework?? I need to copy yours..."

And that was it. There was no surprise when I brought a (stunningly handsome) gay boy from my acting class to the Junior Prom--or a year later to the Senior Prom. (and wore a tux with him too lol-)

I came out in the SF Bay Area. Comparatively speaking, it was easy. (I'm thinking of stepfordfemme's post above and the many painful stories we still hear.) But it was still hard enough for 1981.

When I read here that it was National Coming Out Day (thanks alexri)--I thought about Chris and Patty; they remain among my closest friends and I speak with them regularly. I just joint emailed them, thanking them for being so easy and thus paving the way and calibrating my expectations of coming out, for the rest of my life.

Originally Posted by Dance-with-me

The relevance is only relativ, even in the U.S. - to give some perspective, my rural college just had its first ever meeting of a gay-straight alliance less Han a month ago.

I don't understand.

"...relative, even in the U.S.."?

Sorry if I'm being dense.

[Dance-with-me]

Originally Posted by Daktari

I don't understand.

"...relative, even in the U.S.."?

Sorry if I'm being dense.

Sorry - was posting in haste.

Some folks questioned if Coming Out day was even still relevant.

It may seem irrelevant in larger cities where it appears that coming out is no big deal, but in some areas of the US (as in, not just highly discriminatory countries overseas) it's still a really big deal to come out and to publicly identify yourself as part of the LGBT community. As one of the faculty advisors for the GSA (and the first openly gay employee on this campus) it broke my heart to have to discuss - in 2012, 35 years after I first walked into the women's center on my college campus and picked up a Lesbians United newsletter - things like choosing meeting spaces where outsiders couldn't see who was in the room, what photography policy was needed, and the issues we're having with our fliers disappearing from or being defaced or turned around on the bulletin boards around campus.

Not only that, but even in cities with a large queer population, it's still very relevant for those who come from cultures and communities where being gay is decidedly not ok. Kids are still kicked out of their homes, and people of all ages are still disowned by their families, ostracized from their communities, made unwelcome in their houses of worship, bullied at work or school, harassed in their homes, and fired from their jobs. Until those things diminish, Coming Out Day will continue to be highly relevant.