June Cleaver : Femme Friend or Femme Foe

kittygrrl · 10-26-2012, 05:42 PM

June Cleaver?..funny I grew wishing my mom could be..she was the only mom on our block divorced & working..a distinction which upset my world in so many ways..June, was a tv ideal and fun to watch as a kid and forget childhood woes and when i had my babies I have to admit I would ask myself from time to time "What would June Cleaver do?" It brought back memories of home, having grown up, I realized it was more perfect then I gave it credit for back then..I don't believe there is anything too wrong with having an ideal especially if you're not sure what it is you want..it's a good place to start, but that's all..at some point we grow up and realize we can shape our destiny, we can imagine & be whoever we want to be..then it's all about energy (given time)..(imo)

Ms. Meander · 10-26-2012, 06:03 PM

When I think of June Cleaver in this context, I think only of what has become the iconic image. Mostly her appearance/style, and then the “Martha Stewart” qualities that others have mentioned. I’ve never thought of her as a Femme role model or ideal. It’s all about personal preference, choice, and point of view.

When I was coming up and out, it was sort of at the tail-end of lesbian feminism’s androgyny days - the time when rejecting all traditional gender roles and hetero-normative expectations was required or one risked ridicule and alienation. But there was that butch-femme pulse underneath all along and I picked up on it right away. I felt at home with it – I felt subversive.

To me June Cleaver represents subversion. Because I took their straight-laced, heterosexual icon and turned her into a deviant. At least when I am channeling her, she is deviant. It’s a sort-of reclaiming of femininity and certain other qualities but then using them as I wish – NOT how they are prescribed or forced upon me nonconsensually.

I can cook a great meal and keep a nice home, and look fabulous doing it. Because I want to. Until I don’t want to – then June gets put away. Maybe I’ll pull out her apron and heels later for fun – I’m sure Ward and June never dreamed of some of the things that will happen next. Subversive, I tell you.

Martina · 10-26-2012, 06:14 PM

The wife I wanted to be was Nora Charles from The Thin Man series. I think I wrote about this before on another thread. Maybe on the other site. Anyway, she is beautiful. They are in love. And she is dignified and lady like, but they party constantly and she is a total smart-ass. It was unheard of for those things to come together. Well, not unheard of. Of course, that was the thirties and forties, better times for depictions of women in film.

But I loved the fact that she was rich and her husband wasn't. Although there was a class difference, which they played with, she was never a snob. They occasionally -- well, often -- made fun of her attempts to solve crimes, but her guesses often lead her husband to the real killer.

What I liked about Nora was that she was grown up and married, but she was still having FUN. You never saw women like that. She was surrounded by chaos, dressed in silk and fur, drinking and laughing and happily in love. I was like, "That's the way to do it." Much later, I learned that the character was based on Lillian Hellman.

10-26-2012, 05:42 PM	#1
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: baker Relationship Status: Til you believe Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: wrapped in a shawl Posts: 9,772 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,737 Thanked 22,163 Times in 7,229 Posts Rep Power: 21474862	June Cleaver?..funny I grew wishing my mom could be..she was the only mom on our block divorced & working..a distinction which upset my world in so many ways..June, was a tv ideal and fun to watch as a kid and forget childhood woes and when i had my babies I have to admit I would ask myself from time to time "What would June Cleaver do?" It brought back memories of home, having grown up, I realized it was more perfect then I gave it credit for back then..I don't believe there is anything too wrong with having an ideal especially if you're not sure what it is you want..it's a good place to start, but that's all..at some point we grow up and realize we can shape our destiny, we can imagine & be whoever we want to be..then it's all about energy (given time)..(imo) __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

10-26-2012, 06:03 PM	#2
Ms. Meander Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Relationship Status: Ethical Nonmonogamist Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: The Mountains Posts: 1,520 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,706 Thanked 5,211 Times in 1,147 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	When I think of June Cleaver in this context, I think only of what has become the iconic image. Mostly her appearance/style, and then the “Martha Stewart” qualities that others have mentioned. I’ve never thought of her as a Femme role model or ideal. It’s all about personal preference, choice, and point of view. When I was coming up and out, it was sort of at the tail-end of lesbian feminism’s androgyny days - the time when rejecting all traditional gender roles and hetero-normative expectations was required or one risked ridicule and alienation. But there was that butch-femme pulse underneath all along and I picked up on it right away. I felt at home with it – I felt subversive. To me June Cleaver represents subversion. Because I took their straight-laced, heterosexual icon and turned her into a deviant. At least when I am channeling her, she is deviant. It’s a sort-of reclaiming of femininity and certain other qualities but then using them as I wish – NOT how they are prescribed or forced upon me nonconsensually. I can cook a great meal and keep a nice home, and look fabulous doing it. Because I want to. Until I don’t want to – then June gets put away. Maybe I’ll pull out her apron and heels later for fun – I’m sure Ward and June never dreamed of some of the things that will happen next. Subversive, I tell you. __________________ My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart. - Maya Angelou Last edited by Ms. Meander; 10-26-2012 at 06:06 PM.

10-26-2012, 06:14 PM	#3
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,280 Times in 4,165 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	The wife I wanted to be was Nora Charles from The Thin Man series. I think I wrote about this before on another thread. Maybe on the other site. Anyway, she is beautiful. They are in love. And she is dignified and lady like, but they party constantly and she is a total smart-ass. It was unheard of for those things to come together. Well, not unheard of. Of course, that was the thirties and forties, better times for depictions of women in film. But I loved the fact that she was rich and her husband wasn't. Although there was a class difference, which they played with, she was never a snob. They occasionally -- well, often -- made fun of her attempts to solve crimes, but her guesses often lead her husband to the real killer. What I liked about Nora was that she was grown up and married, but she was still having FUN. You never saw women like that. She was surrounded by chaos, dressed in silk and fur, drinking and laughing and happily in love. I was like, "That's the way to do it." Much later, I learned that the character was based on Lillian Hellman.