June Cleaver : Femme Friend or Femme Foe

girl_dee · 10-26-2012, 08:46 PM

Belle's right about *it's all she knew*

My mom told me that in her day, during high school the girls would spend time picking out their wedding dresses. My mom is 73, so we are talking late 50's.

It was just a given that a girl graduate, get married, have kids, the end. My mother married at 18, had babies right away. She was doing the "womanly"thing. No wonder she was a mess all those years. Two failed marriages and 25 years of hell from my father. i just remember as a kid wishing my mom would save us, run away already, but she stuck by her man, until we were all gone and he nearly killed her too.

So like with Belle's mom, she had dreams but they were out of the realm of possibility. Women made the best of it, or failed at it miserably.

i've done it all regarding lifestyle and can make a choice, it was so not the same for some moms back then.

femmsational · 10-26-2012, 08:49 PM

I just want to say smart girls rock.

I have WAY more I wanna say but I'm too stupid right now.

I'll be back in the morning to drool over you smart girls again :-)

julieisafemme · 10-26-2012, 10:24 PM

I don't identify with June Cleaver as a femme. If I had to pick a TV character to identify my femmeness it would be Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I also don't like it when people lament for the old days. I like to be in the present.

I grew up in a Leave It to Beaver household. Except June smoked cigarettes all day and drank coffee and sometimes seemed depressed. My Mom is a lady. That is the best word I can think of to describe her. There are many things about her that I strive to be as a mother and a woman.

My relationship dynamic is very much like yours Femmesational. I would not describe it as 50s or June Cleaver though. I also do not see it as heteronormative although it might appear to be. That's ok with me if someone sees it that way. So Julie you asked how do we talk about this without making people upset or having a history lesson? I think referencing a time in history that is problematic might be causing the problem. So how do we define it? I don't have a good answer except to say that it is what makes me feel safe and loved.

I agree with Martina about not separating ourselves from other women as femmes. One of the most wonderful, liberating aspects of being a femme to me is is that I stand with all women, butch, femme, straight or what have you. I did not feel that way before. Maybe it is because I know myself better now? I don't know. All I know is that I am so unbelievably grateful and blessed to have these kinds of conversations with women now.

10-26-2012, 08:49 PM	#2
femmsational Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: bitch, but she will do Join Date: May 2012 Location: Jomtien Thailand Posts: 808 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 866 Thanked 3,787 Times in 773 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I just want to say smart girls rock. I have WAY more I wanna say but I'm too stupid right now. I'll be back in the morning to drool over you smart girls again :-) __________________ If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough" Albert Einstein Yes, I'm aware I can't spell, and no, I don't care quite enough to spell check. Sorry!!!

10-26-2012, 08:46 PM	#1
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,831 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Belle's right about it's all she knew My mom told me that in her day, during high school the girls would spend time picking out their wedding dresses. My mom is 73, so we are talking late 50's. It was just a given that a girl graduate, get married, have kids, the end. My mother married at 18, had babies right away. She was doing the "womanly"thing. No wonder she was a mess all those years. Two failed marriages and 25 years of hell from my father. i just remember as a kid wishing my mom would save us, run away already, but she stuck by her man, until we were all gone and he nearly killed her too. So like with Belle's mom, she had dreams but they were out of the realm of possibility. Women made the best of it, or failed at it miserably. i've done it all regarding lifestyle and can make a choice, it was so not the same for some moms back then.

10-26-2012, 10:24 PM	#3
julieisafemme Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married to Greyson Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In the present Posts: 828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,156 Thanked 3,434 Times in 660 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I don't identify with June Cleaver as a femme. If I had to pick a TV character to identify my femmeness it would be Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I also don't like it when people lament for the old days. I like to be in the present. I grew up in a Leave It to Beaver household. Except June smoked cigarettes all day and drank coffee and sometimes seemed depressed. My Mom is a lady. That is the best word I can think of to describe her. There are many things about her that I strive to be as a mother and a woman. My relationship dynamic is very much like yours Femmesational. I would not describe it as 50s or June Cleaver though. I also do not see it as heteronormative although it might appear to be. That's ok with me if someone sees it that way. So Julie you asked how do we talk about this without making people upset or having a history lesson? I think referencing a time in history that is problematic might be causing the problem. So how do we define it? I don't have a good answer except to say that it is what makes me feel safe and loved. I agree with Martina about not separating ourselves from other women as femmes. One of the most wonderful, liberating aspects of being a femme to me is is that I stand with all women, butch, femme, straight or what have you. I did not feel that way before. Maybe it is because I know myself better now? I don't know. All I know is that I am so unbelievably grateful and blessed to have these kinds of conversations with women now.