FTM place to vent and talk

DMW · 10-28-2012, 04:00 PM

You know, i walked away from the screen for a second because i have a serious migraine...not an excuse...just an explaination as to why i didn't finish my thought well. I do not want to make this a place where...ouch...the ugh..."woman are my bitches" thread. ugh. i cannot even say that ...i guess that is how it is heard when i posted and didn't follow up early enough to my post. I do not feel that way or have that sentiment about women in general. ugh.
When i stepped away i thought more about nastiness being perpetuated and wanted to make a general post about how i don't want that here and will not accept it here...that is the point i was trying to make. I understand it. Is there a way to change the title to the thread? Like maybe not in caps....like"FTM place to vent" ? maybe Linus can do this?

Linus....can you change the thread title to "FTM place to vent?"

I have to stop looking at this screen now.

Linus · 10-28-2012, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DMW

You know, i walked away from the screen for a second because i have a serious migraine...not an excuse...just an explaination as to why i didn't finish my thought well. I do not want to make this a place where...ouch...the ugh..."woman are my bitches" thread. ugh. i cannot even say that ...i guess that is how it is heard when i posted and didn't follow up early enough to my post. I do not feel that way or have that sentiment about women in general. ugh.
When i stepped away i thought more about nastiness being perpetuated and wanted to make a general post about how i don't want that here and will not accept it here...that is the point i was trying to make. I understand it. Is there a way to change the title to the thread? Like maybe not in caps....like"FTM place to vent" ? maybe Linus can do this?

Linus....can you change the thread title to "FTM place to vent?"

I have to stop looking at this screen now.

I modified it a bit more than what you posted. If you want me to remove the "and talk", let me know and I'll pull it. I don't want people to just rant and rave but rather work through whatever needs to be discussed, hashed, beaten around, chewed, chawed, etc.

And there is one thing I was curious about because I've seen this from both sides: I know there are many femmes who are interested/intrigued/turned on by FTMs and many FTMs who are reciprocal to this (myself included). What I'm curious about are those FTMs who are here in this community (and others like it) and interested in straight-women as opposed to femmes in this community (and others like it)?

DMW · 10-28-2012, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus

I modified it a bit more than what you posted. If you want me to remove the "and talk", let me know and I'll pull it. I don't want people to just rant and rave but rather work through whatever needs to be discussed, hashed, beaten around, chewed, chawed, etc.

I think that the modification is good. Thank you. I am outty for awhile.
I have this migraine and i think that along with more nastiness has made me puky now... I hope that the thread doesn't spread nastiness.

Thanks Linus

Darbonaire · 10-28-2012, 05:13 PM

I do sincerely apologize for mentioning the other thread. That's all I'm going to say about that.

I am interested in WOMEN....I don't care if they are straight or lesbian femme.....I happen to be in a group in R/T where straight women are what surrounds me...therefore my question about the date thing.

I have no problem telling a women...I guess I wasn't clear as to what I was asking.....IF I find the woman & I getting to a point where things may go further then I shall address the situation. I was more interested in the .."What kind of response have you had from...." have you fu*c*ed them & if so, how did that go as far as there being misunderstandings if any.....that sort of question. Having been married for the last 10 years to a femme I was just curious what the differences are & what other's experiences were.

I do hope this isn't going to turn into a "Why are you here on this site if you're only interested in straight women ..." cause that shit gets REALLY old...especially since I am ON this site because I love FEMMES & their energy.....

Nuff said....all the answers to my question I look forward to....

Julien · 10-28-2012, 05:34 PM

I am a 50 year old transman who is caught "inbetween" in that I am not on T nor have I had any surgery. I have been "transitioning" for about 5 or so years and don't know when I will take the next step (surgery and/or T). It is a money issue for me and I am frustrated with how I am perceived by others. I can pass at times and other times not so much. I was once told by a MTF that I looked gender neutral, which I guess reflects my inbetweenism and I am not comfortable in that status. I am not out to everyone, and don't know how to go about it really. For example at the MCC I attend I am out to the other trans people(MTF) there and I tend to hang out with the Lesbians, but I don't exactly fit in other than my attraction to women. I also have this fear (possibly unfounded) that once I out myself to the Lesbian group that I will be treated differently for I've heard some grumblings about men as a group. I feel I won't be supported. I am not in the gay men's group, because of my inbetweenism and I'm not a gay male. I have found no other transmen in the MCC and feeling a little isolated on that front. I live in a small city and the community as a whole is not so visible. I guess I'm trying to figure out how to fit in. Thanks for any thoughts on the matter.

Darbonaire · 10-28-2012, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julien

I am a 50 year old transman who is caught "inbetween" in that I am not on T nor have I had any surgery. I have been "transitioning" for about 5 or so years and don't know when I will take the next step (surgery and/or T). It is a money issue for me and I am frustrated with how I am perceived by others. I can pass at times and other times not so much. I was once told by a MTF that I looked gender neutral, which I guess reflects my inbetweenism and I am not comfortable in that status. I am not out to everyone, and don't know how to go about it really. For example at the MCC I attend I am out to the other trans people(MTF) there and I tend to hang out with the Lesbians, but I don't exactly fit in other than my attraction to women. I also have this fear (possibly unfounded) that once I out myself to the Lesbian group that I will be treated differently for I've heard some grumblings about men as a group. I feel I won't be supported. I am not in the gay men's group, because of my inbetweenism and I'm not a gay male. I have found no other transmen in the MCC and feeling a little isolated on that front. I live in a small city and the community as a whole is not so visible. I guess I'm trying to figure out how to fit in. Thanks for any thoughts on the matter.

Nice to meet you Julian...<smile>.....I note you live in AL.....I lived there for 8 years with my ex wife...it can be a bit stifling to be there & be different. I was fortunate, my wife's friends accepted me cause I was with her.....I was never comfortable with "outing" myself there...or anywhere really....mainly because I figure it's no one's business. Do you know of the website "The Transitional Male" ? There are some things on there that might help....binders, suggestions etc. I am lucky cause I am perceived as bio-male & have been on T & had surgery etc.

I know there are some guys on this site in the same situation you are in now. Before I started T I was almost always perceived male...lol...well, after I had a breast reduction that is....lol....before that I think folks thought, "Damn that guy's got big boobs!" Anyway, being true to yourself, exploring possible surgery options, talking with others in the same space....the FTM community in my experience has been very willing to help with questions & help with guidance too. Just keep allowing your true self to shine through man.....

Hope that helped.....

Jonathan

Julien · 10-28-2012, 05:51 PM

Hi Jonathan,
Good to meet you. Thanks for the info about the site, I will look into it. Since you've lived in AL then you know who it can be stifling and I don't mean the weather during the summer. It seems that I've found more MTFs than FTMs here and I am hoping to meet up with FTMs in the future, but for now I will look to people like you and others on this site/thread for input.

Thanks again,
Julien

Corkey · 10-28-2012, 05:44 PM

So... I'm not transitioning because well it isn't going to happen. I can't take T because my insurance, Disability will never pay for it. I found my one and only and she could care less, because she loves who I am not just what I am. If I could say just one thing, it is be yourself always and love who comes your way. Straight, Femme or any other ID. Humans have the capacity for love, and who you love matters only to you and the one who has your heart.

(*you* general)

Darbonaire · 10-28-2012, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corkey

So... I'm not transitioning because well it isn't going to happen. I can't take T because my insurance, Disability will never pay for it. I found my one and only and she could care less, because she loves who I am not just what I am. If I could say just one thing, it is be yourself always and love who comes your way. Straight, Femme or any other ID. Humans have the capacity for love, and who you love matters only to you and the one who has your heart.

(*you* general)

Thanks for this post ! ^5

Jonathan

Linus · 10-28-2012, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darbonaire

I do sincerely apologize for mentioning the other thread. That's all I'm going to say about that.

I am interested in WOMEN....I don't care if they are straight or lesbian femme.....I happen to be in a group in R/T where straight women are what surrounds me...therefore my question about the date thing.

I have no problem telling a women...I guess I wasn't clear as to what I was asking.....IF I find the woman & I getting to a point where things may go further then I shall address the situation. I was more interested in the .."What kind of response have you had from...." have you fu*c*ed them & if so, how did that go as far as there being misunderstandings if any.....that sort of question. Having been married for the last 10 years to a femme I was just curious what the differences are & what other's experiences were.

I do hope this isn't going to turn into a "Why are you here on this site if you're only interested in straight women ..." cause that shit gets REALLY old...especially since I am ON this site because I love FEMMES & their energy.....

Nuff said....all the answers to my question I look forward to....

Naw.. totally get it. As for the response.. I have to say I dunno. I think the ones that have been into me at the start of my transition were very positive.

I will say that sometimes I'm surprised that straight women come on to me. The most surprising was when I was in Singapore and had three different prostitutes (it was a very well known prostitute area) come up to me, offering to "love me long time" (I shit you not -- that's what they said!).

I think that it's just a matter of finding the right one and sometimes it takes time. A bigger challenge, IMO, is finding one that's nearby. In the few that I've dated (just at the start of my transition), they were either across country or in a different country altogether (I'm Canadian and ended up moving to the US because of the one I found and fell hard for and am still falling hard for to date).

Darbonaire · 10-28-2012, 06:02 PM

"Love you long time".....lol.....sounds good to me......just kidding......sort of. I got VERY lucky to be "found" by my ex......I traveled a lot with my former job so I met several ladies who I spent time with. Yeah, now the "close by" situation may be a speed bump along the way but, it's how it is.......

I keep thinking I was "found" once so maybe it will happen again....who knows. I even think sometimes, was I an idiot for letting a divorce happen...but, you can't stay someplace that isn't "right" just because you're afriad you may never find another partner....at least I couldn't.

I'm SO not ready to date right now...I do have friends I can call to meet for coffee or lunch but, as far as anything serious...nope, not yet....still WAY too much healing to do.

I have had straight women hit on me & gay guys....lol....so, I will just stay in the present & take baby steps to heal the heart, & when it's right.....she'll walk in.....I truly believe that.

How's Redondo Beach? I'm from CA originally....sometimes I miss it...well, no I miss my friends....I do miss the more open attitude there though...but, VA is very good to me.

Ok, off to watch the weather.....enjoy the night all !!

Jonathan

Linus · 10-28-2012, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darbonaire

"Love you long time".....lol.....sounds good to me......just kidding......sort of. I got VERY lucky to be "found" by my ex......I traveled a lot with my former job so I met several ladies who I spent time with. Yeah, now the "close by" situation may be a speed bump along the way but, it's how it is.......

I keep thinking I was "found" once so maybe it will happen again....who knows. I even think sometimes, was I an idiot for letting a divorce happen...but, you can't stay someplace that isn't "right" just because you're afriad you may never find another partner....at least I couldn't.

I'm SO not ready to date right now...I do have friends I can call to meet for coffee or lunch but, as far as anything serious...nope, not yet....still WAY too much healing to do.

I have had straight women hit on me & gay guys....lol....so, I will just stay in the present & take baby steps to heal the heart, & when it's right.....she'll walk in.....I truly believe that.

How's Redondo Beach? I'm from CA originally....sometimes I miss it...well, no I miss my friends....I do miss the more open attitude there though...but, VA is very good to me.

Ok, off to watch the weather.....enjoy the night all !!

Jonathan

Ya.. Sometimes it's good to take a break and find yourself before letting someone else find you. That's actually very important.

As for Redondo, it's very nice (weather wise) but damned expensive. A house down the street from us just went up for sale.. for a mere $989K.

If I won the lottery...

Darbonaire · 10-28-2012, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus

Ya.. Sometimes it's good to take a break and find yourself before letting someone else find you. That's actually very important.

As for Redondo, it's very nice (weather wise) but damned expensive. A house down the street from us just went up for sale.. for a mere $989K.

If I won the lottery...

Another reason I don't live in CA ...lol...I'd move back to N CA if I won the lottery...actually Tahoe !!! Oh Yeah !!!

weatherboi · 10-28-2012, 05:32 PM

Yes I have been actively interested in and dated other women that id other than femme that are not on this site. There are many straight women out there that understand and enjoy dating guys like me/us. My work in the hospitality/entertainment industry offered/s me opportunities to date and share time. Some I have been intimate with and some I haven't but the one thing they all had in common before anything started is they all knew I am a transman/FTM. Some handled it better than others but that never mattered, I just kept moving forward with conviction to be myself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus

I modified it a bit more than what you posted. If you want me to remove the "and talk", let me know and I'll pull it. I don't want people to just rant and rave but rather work through whatever needs to be discussed, hashed, beaten around, chewed, chawed, etc.

And there is one thing I was curious about because I've seen this from both sides: I know there are many femmes who are interested/intrigued/turned on by FTMs and many FTMs who are reciprocal to this (myself included). What I'm curious about are those FTMs who are here in this community (and others like it) and interested in straight-women as opposed to femmes in this community (and others like it)?

Sheridan · 11-02-2013, 06:06 AM

Has anyone had this experience?

I have to share Days of Sheridan’s Haircut, it’s like Days of Our Lives but with more drama (and homophobia and/or transphobia). But it is kinda of humorous because I think they wanted me to drop my pants to check and find out which they needed to go for.

I had a fun time getting my hair cut today (which pissed me off ). A haircut with a side order of homophobia and/or transphobia (I am not even sure which way the woman was going, because this woman was bat shit nuts and so was her friend, but her haircut turned out ok after the drama).

I was starting to look like a sheep dog (or Josh Groban on crack)

and decided: Hey it’s time to make a donation to the hair fairies. I went into a place I had gone before because the gal that cut my hair before was really funny and talked about all kinds of stuff and about her family and gave a good haircut without any drama. Well, I went in (and of course she was not there). But I thought, hey anyone can do the whacking (yes my hair needs deep discipline and probably a deep conditioner). :P

So the gal that was there was going to take me back right away but I told her I wanted to look at styles of haircuts and I had just picked up the guy’s haircut book to look at (which I do every place I go). She stated that that book would do me no good (will I had used this book once before and the cut I picked was awesome). I said I wanted a style from that book (so she stood and waited, eyeing me up and down, not in a flirtatious way and glancing at my crotch). I almost walked out but finding a place open and not a full on women’s salon or without an appointment in my area at almost 5pm was going to be a pain in the ass and I still had to shop (which I hate).

So I picked my style and swaggered back to the whacking chair. So the drama began. She told me the style I picked was too long (it really was pretty short) and that I needed to get a buzz cut. I told her I did not want a buzz cut. She told me I needed a buzz cut because it would look better on me. I said I wanted the style I picked. She said if you want to look more male you should get a buzz cut. I said the haircut I wanted was perfect for my face and my curly hair. I was thinking to myself “I don’t want to look like a white supremacist, but thanks for the advice lady”. But I closed my mouth. So she kept hounding me about it and I knew that she was not going to allow me to get my pick. So I looked through the book again and found one that was almost the same but just a little shorter (it had better bangs, so I got a better cut anyway). I said this is the one I want. So finally I got my cut with her bitching all the way that it was too girlie for me (I never pick girlie cuts) but a buzz cut was out of the question (I hate them). I sat in the chair meditating, wanting to leap and run, while she bitched and giggled with other woman that worked there about me and my hair.

I am not sure if she thought I was a bull dyke (which I get a lot) or a transgendered man or she thought I was a possible transgendered woman or gay man that needed to man up to fit his genitals, whatever it was it pissed me off. I am never going back there again. WTF????? The area I live in has a nice size community of LGBTQ people and this behavior just pisses me off and it just continues on and on. And as I was leaving she was still looking at my crotch (I wanted to moon her, but that would be socially unacceptable).

So how was your day?

LoyalWolfsBlade · 12-06-2013, 10:00 PM

I was going to post this in the listening to each other thread ( excuse the wrong name please) then decided that it really belongs here or at least I hope so.

I have been on T for three or four months now. Not nearly long enough but thanks to already having my histro 16 years ago I have had some amazing and faster than usual results in some areas. I recently was hospitalized for phenomena (sp) and all kinds of tests were ran due to how bad it was. Anyways to make a long story short they found two large masses on each of my adrino glands during the testing. Right now I wish they had found anything else but that. I was told today that there is a large chance that I will have to stop taking my T due to this.

It is not official yet and I have another appointment with another Dr next Thursday about it nit I feel like my whole world has evaporated. I have been fighting the system and society for 40 years to look like the man I know I am and I am only 46 years old. I moved across the country and let go of everyone I knew in order to officially start my transition in January of this year.

I waited 5 months to see a doctor to start the T only to find out a month before the appointment that she was retiring and then another two months to get a doctor that was willing to treat me after having one that said he was until I asked so when do we start talking about hormone replacement therapy. Then all of a sudden I was speaking a foreign language it appears that he is willing to treat transgender individuals as long as hormones aren't involved. WTF especially since I mentioned hormones in the first appointment.

Anyways eventually I got a doctor willing to treat me and I some how figured pit how to afford to pay for the T out of my own pocket. I tell you I was one happy man. Even with the discomfort involved with the first couple of months I was a happy man. However I was not a stupid man I kept the words from the guys here like Greyson (sp) and others that told me to be cautious and there may be higher risks because of my age. I also kept the words of encouragement from so many of you throughout my journey when I was posting in the Bravehearts thread. Today though I felt so alone and so defeated.
I keep telling myself that the other specialist may not have the same opinion about having to stop my T. I even tell myself at least they didn't find cancer in my lungs to be honest guys there are seconds today that I wish they had.
Ok stepping off my venting everything and making no sense box now.

DapperButch · 12-06-2013, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~KnightsBlade~

I was going to post this in the listening to each other thread ( excuse the wrong name please) then decided that it really belongs here or at least I hope so.

I have been on T for three or four months now. Not nearly long enough but thanks to already having my histro 16 years ago I have had some amazing and faster than usual results in some areas. I recently was hospitalized for phenomena (sp) and all kinds of tests were ran due to how bad it was. Anyways to make a long story short they found two large masses on each of my adrino glands during the testing. Right now I wish they had found anything else but that. I was told today that there is a large chance that I will have to stop taking my T due to this.

It is not official yet and I have another appointment with another Dr next Thursday about it nit I feel like my whole world has evaporated. I have been fighting the system and society for 40 years to look like the man I know I am and I am only 46 years old. I moved across the country and let go of everyone I knew in order to officially start my transition in January of this year.

I waited 5 months to see a doctor to start the T only to find out a month before the appointment that she was retiring and then another two months to get a doctor that was willing to treat me after having one that said he was until I asked so when do we start talking about hormone replacement therapy. Then all of a sudden I was speaking a foreign language it appears that he is willing to treat transgender individuals as long as hormones aren't involved. WTF especially since I mentioned hormones in the first appointment.

Anyways eventually I got a doctor willing to treat me and I some how figured pit how to afford to pay for the T out of my own pocket. I tell you I was one happy man. Even with the discomfort involved with the first couple of months I was a happy man. However I was not a stupid man I kept the words from the guys here like Greyson (sp) and others that told me to be cautious and there may be higher risks because of my age. I also kept the words of encouragement from so many of you throughout my journey when I was posting in the Bravehearts thread. Today though I felt so alone and so defeated.
I keep telling myself that the other specialist may not have the same opinion about having to stop my T. I even tell myself at least they didn't find cancer in my lungs to be honest guys there are seconds today that I wish they had.
Ok stepping off my venting everything and making no sense box now.

Hang in there, guy. I hope it all works out and you don't have to get off of T since it has made such a positive difference in your life.

Greyson · 12-08-2013, 12:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~KnightsBlade~

I was told today that there is a large chance that I will have to stop taking my T due to this.

However I was not a stupid man I kept the words from the guys here like Greyson (sp) and others that told me to be cautious and there may be higher risks because of my age. I also kept the words of encouragement from so many of you throughout my journey when I was posting in the Bravehearts thread. Today though I felt so alone and so defeated.

KnightsBlade, nothing can change who you believe yourself to be. With or without the T, you are still you. I think I can empathize with you but each person's idea of their identity is not a cookie cutter matter. I hope things work out for you. Try to love and accept yourself no matter what.

Respectfully,
Greyson

10-28-2012, 04:00 PM	#1
DMW Member How Do You Identify?: FTM/Male (Will 14) Relationship Status: Caught An Angel and she doesn't lie! Join Date: May 2012 Location: @ Posts: 784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,256 Thanked 1,857 Times in 614 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	You know, i walked away from the screen for a second because i have a serious migraine...not an excuse...just an explaination as to why i didn't finish my thought well. I do not want to make this a place where...ouch...the ugh..."woman are my bitches" thread. ugh. i cannot even say that ...i guess that is how it is heard when i posted and didn't follow up early enough to my post. I do not feel that way or have that sentiment about women in general. ugh. When i stepped away i thought more about nastiness being perpetuated and wanted to make a general post about how i don't want that here and will not accept it here...that is the point i was trying to make. I understand it. Is there a way to change the title to the thread? Like maybe not in caps....like"FTM place to vent" ? maybe Linus can do this? Linus....can you change the thread title to "FTM place to vent?" I have to stop looking at this screen now. Last edited by DMW; 10-28-2012 at 04:05 PM.

10-28-2012, 05:13 PM	#4
Darbonaire Timed Out How Do You Identify?: MALE Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Working on myself, thank you Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Virginia Posts: 186 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 343 Thanked 552 Times in 145 Posts Rep Power: 0	Ok let me be really clear .... I do sincerely apologize for mentioning the other thread. That's all I'm going to say about that. I am interested in WOMEN....I don't care if they are straight or lesbian femme.....I happen to be in a group in R/T where straight women are what surrounds me...therefore my question about the date thing. I have no problem telling a women...I guess I wasn't clear as to what I was asking.....IF I find the woman & I getting to a point where things may go further then I shall address the situation. I was more interested in the .."What kind of response have you had from...." have you fuced them & if so, how did that go as far as there being misunderstandings if any.....that sort of question. Having been married for the last 10 years to a femme I was just curious what the differences are & what other's experiences were. I do hope this isn't going to turn into a "Why are you here on this site if you're only interested in straight women ..." cause that shit gets REALLY old...especially since I am ON this site because I love FEMMES & their energy..... Nuff said....all the answers to my question I look forward to....

10-28-2012, 05:34 PM	#5
Julien Member How Do You Identify?: TG/GenderQueer Preferred Pronoun?: I'm flexible, but only up to a point. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, Gulf Coast area Posts: 1,007 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,247 Thanked 2,702 Times in 737 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I am a 50 year old transman who is caught "inbetween" in that I am not on T nor have I had any surgery. I have been "transitioning" for about 5 or so years and don't know when I will take the next step (surgery and/or T). It is a money issue for me and I am frustrated with how I am perceived by others. I can pass at times and other times not so much. I was once told by a MTF that I looked gender neutral, which I guess reflects my inbetweenism and I am not comfortable in that status. I am not out to everyone, and don't know how to go about it really. For example at the MCC I attend I am out to the other trans people(MTF) there and I tend to hang out with the Lesbians, but I don't exactly fit in other than my attraction to women. I also have this fear (possibly unfounded) that once I out myself to the Lesbian group that I will be treated differently for I've heard some grumblings about men as a group. I feel I won't be supported. I am not in the gay men's group, because of my inbetweenism and I'm not a gay male. I have found no other transmen in the MCC and feeling a little isolated on that front. I live in a small city and the community as a whole is not so visible. I guess I'm trying to figure out how to fit in. Thanks for any thoughts on the matter. __________________ Julien “Self-plagiarism is style.” Alfred Hitchcock Formerly known as Graphiteta2s

10-28-2012, 05:51 PM	#7
Julien Member How Do You Identify?: TG/GenderQueer Preferred Pronoun?: I'm flexible, but only up to a point. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, Gulf Coast area Posts: 1,007 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,247 Thanked 2,702 Times in 737 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Hi Jonathan, Good to meet you. Thanks for the info about the site, I will look into it. Since you've lived in AL then you know who it can be stifling and I don't mean the weather during the summer. It seems that I've found more MTFs than FTMs here and I am hoping to meet up with FTMs in the future, but for now I will look to people like you and others on this site/thread for input. Thanks again, Julien __________________ Julien “Self-plagiarism is style.” Alfred Hitchcock Formerly known as Graphiteta2s

10-28-2012, 05:44 PM	#8
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,268 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	So... I'm not transitioning because well it isn't going to happen. I can't take T because my insurance, Disability will never pay for it. I found my one and only and she could care less, because she loves who I am not just what I am. If I could say just one thing, it is be yourself always and love who comes your way. Straight, Femme or any other ID. Humans have the capacity for love, and who you love matters only to you and the one who has your heart. (you general) __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

10-28-2012, 06:02 PM	#11
Darbonaire Timed Out How Do You Identify?: MALE Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Working on myself, thank you Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Virginia Posts: 186 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 343 Thanked 552 Times in 145 Posts Rep Power: 0	Well, "Love you long time".....lol.....sounds good to me......just kidding......sort of. I got VERY lucky to be "found" by my ex......I traveled a lot with my former job so I met several ladies who I spent time with. Yeah, now the "close by" situation may be a speed bump along the way but, it's how it is....... I keep thinking I was "found" once so maybe it will happen again....who knows. I even think sometimes, was I an idiot for letting a divorce happen...but, you can't stay someplace that isn't "right" just because you're afriad you may never find another partner....at least I couldn't. I'm SO not ready to date right now...I do have friends I can call to meet for coffee or lunch but, as far as anything serious...nope, not yet....still WAY too much healing to do. I have had straight women hit on me & gay guys....lol....so, I will just stay in the present & take baby steps to heal the heart, & when it's right.....she'll walk in.....I truly believe that. How's Redondo Beach? I'm from CA originally....sometimes I miss it...well, no I miss my friends....I do miss the more open attitude there though...but, VA is very good to me. Ok, off to watch the weather.....enjoy the night all !! Jonathan

11-02-2013, 06:06 AM	#15
Sheridan Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Transmasculine Preferred Pronoun?: Just call me Sheridan Relationship Status: Single and looking Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: California Posts: 36 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 78 Thanked 99 Times in 27 Posts Rep Power: 1501902	Haircut From Hell: With A Side Order of Homophobia and Transphobia Has anyone had this experience? I have to share Days of Sheridan’s Haircut, it’s like Days of Our Lives but with more drama (and homophobia and/or transphobia). But it is kinda of humorous because I think they wanted me to drop my pants to check and find out which they needed to go for. I had a fun time getting my hair cut today (which pissed me off ). A haircut with a side order of homophobia and/or transphobia (I am not even sure which way the woman was going, because this woman was bat shit nuts and so was her friend, but her haircut turned out ok after the drama). I was starting to look like a sheep dog (or Josh Groban on crack) and decided: Hey it’s time to make a donation to the hair fairies. I went into a place I had gone before because the gal that cut my hair before was really funny and talked about all kinds of stuff and about her family and gave a good haircut without any drama. Well, I went in (and of course she was not there). But I thought, hey anyone can do the whacking (yes my hair needs deep discipline and probably a deep conditioner). :P So the gal that was there was going to take me back right away but I told her I wanted to look at styles of haircuts and I had just picked up the guy’s haircut book to look at (which I do every place I go). She stated that that book would do me no good (will I had used this book once before and the cut I picked was awesome). I said I wanted a style from that book (so she stood and waited, eyeing me up and down, not in a flirtatious way and glancing at my crotch). I almost walked out but finding a place open and not a full on women’s salon or without an appointment in my area at almost 5pm was going to be a pain in the ass and I still had to shop (which I hate). So I picked my style and swaggered back to the whacking chair. So the drama began. She told me the style I picked was too long (it really was pretty short) and that I needed to get a buzz cut. I told her I did not want a buzz cut. She told me I needed a buzz cut because it would look better on me. I said I wanted the style I picked. She said if you want to look more male you should get a buzz cut. I said the haircut I wanted was perfect for my face and my curly hair. I was thinking to myself “I don’t want to look like a white supremacist, but thanks for the advice lady”. But I closed my mouth. So she kept hounding me about it and I knew that she was not going to allow me to get my pick. So I looked through the book again and found one that was almost the same but just a little shorter (it had better bangs, so I got a better cut anyway). I said this is the one I want. So finally I got my cut with her bitching all the way that it was too girlie for me (I never pick girlie cuts) but a buzz cut was out of the question (I hate them). I sat in the chair meditating, wanting to leap and run, while she bitched and giggled with other woman that worked there about me and my hair. I am not sure if she thought I was a bull dyke (which I get a lot) or a transgendered man or she thought I was a possible transgendered woman or gay man that needed to man up to fit his genitals, whatever it was it pissed me off. I am never going back there again. WTF????? The area I live in has a nice size community of LGBTQ people and this behavior just pisses me off and it just continues on and on. And as I was leaving she was still looking at my crotch (I wanted to moon her, but that would be socially unacceptable). So how was your day?

12-06-2013, 10:00 PM	#16
LoyalWolfsBlade Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Pre-Op FtM, Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones plz Relationship Status: Single but haven't given up on finding the One Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: I gaze upon the same moon as you do Posts: 3,827 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,214 Thanked 9,646 Times in 3,123 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I was going to post this in the listening to each other thread ( excuse the wrong name please) then decided that it really belongs here or at least I hope so. I have been on T for three or four months now. Not nearly long enough but thanks to already having my histro 16 years ago I have had some amazing and faster than usual results in some areas. I recently was hospitalized for phenomena (sp) and all kinds of tests were ran due to how bad it was. Anyways to make a long story short they found two large masses on each of my adrino glands during the testing. Right now I wish they had found anything else but that. I was told today that there is a large chance that I will have to stop taking my T due to this. It is not official yet and I have another appointment with another Dr next Thursday about it nit I feel like my whole world has evaporated. I have been fighting the system and society for 40 years to look like the man I know I am and I am only 46 years old. I moved across the country and let go of everyone I knew in order to officially start my transition in January of this year. I waited 5 months to see a doctor to start the T only to find out a month before the appointment that she was retiring and then another two months to get a doctor that was willing to treat me after having one that said he was until I asked so when do we start talking about hormone replacement therapy. Then all of a sudden I was speaking a foreign language it appears that he is willing to treat transgender individuals as long as hormones aren't involved. WTF especially since I mentioned hormones in the first appointment. Anyways eventually I got a doctor willing to treat me and I some how figured pit how to afford to pay for the T out of my own pocket. I tell you I was one happy man. Even with the discomfort involved with the first couple of months I was a happy man. However I was not a stupid man I kept the words from the guys here like Greyson (sp) and others that told me to be cautious and there may be higher risks because of my age. I also kept the words of encouragement from so many of you throughout my journey when I was posting in the Bravehearts thread. Today though I felt so alone and so defeated. I keep telling myself that the other specialist may not have the same opinion about having to stop my T. I even tell myself at least they didn't find cancer in my lungs to be honest guys there are seconds today that I wish they had. Ok stepping off my venting everything and making no sense box now.