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11-09-2012, 07:19 PM
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#1 | |
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Member
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"Quit trying to reason with unreasonable people. It's like trying to have a meaningful conversation with an end table." ~ Girl_On_Fire
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11-09-2012, 08:41 PM
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#2 |
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Senior Member
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bigender (DID System) Preferred Pronoun?:
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Flirting in non-GLBT space is definitely a different ballgame than in glbt space. I don't know if what I do is actually flirtation, but I definitely convey my appreciation in what I hope is a harmless way. I don't think I knew how to flirt with butches when I first came out - but over time it's become second-nature to give that look of acknowledgement/appreciation/knowing that tends to cause a corresponding blush or shy smile or stammer enough times for me to know that the message is conveyed. And occasionally a free coffee.
My intention is more of an "I see you" in an appreciative way than anything more aggressive - because I don't want to unintentionally communicate availability. When I was single and found somebody attractive, it usually worked pretty well to be friendly and direct. A casual compliment works well if the person is available and interested. Many people will open up if you ask a few questions that aren't too invasive but require an opinion or history of some sort. I think the secret to successful flirting is not to be too invested in the results.
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I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl
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11-09-2012, 09:16 PM
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#3 |
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Infamous Member
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I say we femmes need a secret sign to signal butches out there when we arent in a LGBT space...like, putting a thumb on our chin when they look at us...which would mean YES I AM FAMILY!
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Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears |
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11-09-2012, 09:31 PM
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#4 |
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Senior Member
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I think my double take and jaw drop paired with a goofy smile lets them know but...
If that doesn't work- some solid eye contact with a more pleasant smile and some easy conversation... If that doesn't work than I assume they don't think I'm as hot as I think they are and I can move on. 
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11-11-2012, 12:32 PM
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#5 |
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Junior Member
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Ze, Zir, or She, her, ect if needed. Relationship Status:
Single, Poly, and happy. 
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Femme's flirting with other Femme girls in cis straight spaces!
So, I am a femme who likes butches and femmes but usually I get more starstruck by femme girls. I have been in starbucks and asked a straight girl out by accident but it was totally worth the rejection because she said it made her day how honest I was.
That could have turned really bad, but it doesn't hurt to ask or flirt a little even with femme's in non queer spaces. 
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11-11-2012, 04:50 PM
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#6 |
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Senior Member
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I have had it work out, but the ratio of successes to humiliating failures (for various reasons) caused me to give it up god knows how many years ago.
I simply don't do it. I have friends who do with great success. Better flirters than I. Better at taking disappointment. I don't know. One of the things I hate is when a butch thinks I am looking at her because I am a straight woman STARING at the dyke. I just can't fucking stand that. I don't need to be made to feel invisible AGAIN. Guess what, some of the feminine folks out there are DYKES. *Gasp* |
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11-12-2012, 06:46 PM
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#7 | |
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Member
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On Hiatus
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Connecticut
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Quote:
__________________
"Quit trying to reason with unreasonable people. It's like trying to have a meaningful conversation with an end table." ~ Girl_On_Fire
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| Tags |
| femme visability, flirting |
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Hybrid Mode
