Flirting in a Non-GLBT Space

Dude · 11-11-2012, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheryl NYC

Butches are often shy, and they have good reasons to assume that all women they might find attractive and interesting when they're in straight spaces are straight. We can spot them, but without that rainbow necklace they have no reason to suspect that they might be in the same room with one of us. Honestly, if I were a butch I would never EVER have the moxie to approach a woman for a date outside of designated LGBT space.

When I see an interesting looking butch I take a deep breath, then simply smile as openly as I can, extend my hand, and say, "Hi, I'm Cheryl". I catch her eye and smile some more, waiting for her to respond. If I get nothing, I just say, "It's nice to meet you". I then force myself to not immediately run away in terror. A shy butch may be totally overwhelmed by the sudden attention and may need a few extra seconds to order her thoughts before responding.

Just remember that a butch in straight space has had a lifetime of feeling like there's water everywhere with nary a drop to drink. When I put myself in the place of a butch in straight space I know that it would take me far more than a few seconds to overcome the habitual hobbling of my flirting muscles in that circumstance.

excuse me
if I may invade the femme zone briefly
only to say this is the most insightful post describing
the butch experience that I have ever read
And it came from a femme.

thank you

Venus007 · 11-12-2012, 04:05 AM

I work the fundamentals of flirting
Smile
Eye contact
Arrange for a touch, shaking hands, hand on the arm etc
then move in for the chatting and flirting while working the fundamentals.
I have found a little bit of ribbing and teasing goes well to establish rapport
I get turned down sometimes, I get surprised straight women occasionally but usually I get at least a fun chat and a if I am lucky a phone number or we leave together

Ginger · 11-12-2012, 06:04 AM

When I see a butch woman in a public space, I catch her eye and smile. I'm not flirting (but it's okay if she thinks that). It's just a solidarity thing.

easygoingfemme · 11-12-2012, 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IslandScout

When I see a butch woman in a public space, I catch her eye and smile. I'm not flirting (but it's okay if she thinks that). It's just a solidarity thing.

Yes to that a hundred times.

11-12-2012, 04:05 AM	#2
Venus007 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status: Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Houston area Posts: 1,362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,417 Thanked 4,749 Times in 1,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	nothing ventured. . . I work the fundamentals of flirting Smile Eye contact Arrange for a touch, shaking hands, hand on the arm etc then move in for the chatting and flirting while working the fundamentals. I have found a little bit of ribbing and teasing goes well to establish rapport I get turned down sometimes, I get surprised straight women occasionally but usually I get at least a fun chat and a if I am lucky a phone number or we leave together __________________ . "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary

11-12-2012, 06:04 AM	#3
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,295 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	When I see a butch woman in a public space, I catch her eye and smile. I'm not flirting (but it's okay if she thinks that). It's just a solidarity thing.