An Age Old Question... Can Butches, FTM And Femme's Just Be Best Friends?

[Dude]

Partnered femmes have always been my biggest support system.
None have tried to get with me.

They have solid relationships and know I have good boundaries
or they likely would not have be-friended me to begin with.

I'll say it again
None have tried to get with me.

Thank you Partnered femmes for your friendships
Thank you to their partners for not seeing me as a bad friend choice.

Yes , it is possible.

[Martina]

I don't consider butches the opposite gender.

I am poly by nature if not always in practice. I assume that people have a sexual interest in one another and that that is fine. But I also assume that people will respect themselves and one another when making these connections happen, if they do.

But to directly answer the question, yes, I can be friends with butches -- or femmes. I can even be friends with people I find sexually attractive. If they are unavailable, or I am, or if it would be a bad idea for other reasons, then that interest recedes. Occasionally something will happen to remind me that damn, she is fine. But it's not a constant or even frequent distraction. (Maybe I am old.)

[LaneyDoll]

I have never had a problem with friends of any gender and/or identify. It is pretty obvious to people that I am in a relationship and happily so. If they want to challenge that then I am happy to show them the door.

I once had a very good butch friend. She called me her "translator" since she always did not understand the meaning behind her girlfriends' words. She only dates femmes and I am fluent in femme speak.

She and I were really good friends and it never crossed beyond friendship.

Personally, I think that if you are clear about your position in the beginning, you could save yourself trouble. Anyone who knows me knows to not tangle with my relationships. The closer someone is to me, the more protective I am of them.

[thedivahrrrself]

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll

I have never had a problem with friends of any gender and/or identify. It is pretty obvious to people that I am in a relationship and happily so. If they want to challenge that then I am happy to show them the door.

I once had a very good butch friend. She called me her "translator" since she always did not understand the meaning behind her girlfriends' words. She only dates femmes and I am fluent in femme speak.

She and I were really good friends and it never crossed beyond friendship.

Personally, I think that if you are clear about your position in the beginning, you could save yourself trouble. Anyone who knows me knows to not tangle with my relationships. The closer someone is to me, the more protective I am of them.

I agree with Laney here. I have friends who are girls, guys, femmes, butches, Trans, andro, etc... I'm too old to be ruling anyone out for gender or identity; good friends are not that easy to find! (And I know what you mean about "translating," Laney LOL)

I've never been much of a "friends first" kind of girl. My friends are not a potential dating pool...unless I'm setting them up with each other!

[s0litude]

I have no issue with how someone labels. I have femme friends who I find attractive. Doesn't mean anything will or could happen. Just means I have some really attractive friends.

I think as long as the boundaries are set and everyone knows where everyone stands, it's all good. Communication is key to any relationship-- romantic, platonic, etc.

[Amante]

Of course we can be friends! One of my very best friends is butch to the core, and our friendship is NOT a threat to either of our relationships.

[ruffryder]

Originally Posted by JustJo

Absolutely....with the caveat that both the partner and the friends need to respect the relationship.

I'm comfortable with a partner of mine having femme friends, butch friends, trans friends, straight friends, friends who are exes, whatever. If there's flirting and what, to me, seems to be boundary-crossing...then that's another issue.

I'm a one-person, person....and my partner needs to be as well or our relationship simply won't work.

This is my thinking on the subject. Nothing wrong with it. Anyone can be friends. My girl and I have friends from all genders on the spectrum. It all comes down to others acknowledging and respecting that we are in a relationship together and us trusting each other.

[macele]

hey mistie.

i associate butch with lesbian. that's just me. nothing right or wrong in that. same thing with femme. and i think of both as women. i do understand others use the words. it's all good. i'm saying this because i don't think of femme as being opposite gender. not saying you do. i don't understand that part of your original post.

i either have self-control or i don't. i can be trusted or i can't. even in a relationship, i may be attracted to others, but i don't think i should act on those attractions. man, woman, child, ... i consider myself lucky to have a friend of any size, shape, or matter.

mac

[Blade]

A few of my besties are femme. It has sometimes been an issue in relationships. Here's the thing, I'm as faithful as an ole dog, anyone who knows me will tell you that. I wouldn't cheat on anyone EVER.

That said, the person I partner with will have to understand, that my friends are exactly that, friends. They have been with me for the long haul and me with them. I won't give up my friends for a potential partner. If they are that jealous, insecure or needy, then we are probably not right for each other.

[StrongButch]

I have all kinds of friends. I dont base a friendship on how a person chooses to identify,sexual preference,race,religion,where they live,where they work or dont work. As they say we are family. I dont sleep with my friends. If I was interested in a femme believe me she would know it. (lol) I love my femme friends. You go girls!