How have you met the people you've been involved with romantically or sexually?

Gráinne · 12-22-2012, 12:49 PM

-Met him at a high school boys' gymnastic meet where we were scorekeepers for our respective teams. We were involved off and on for the rest of high school, but since we lived across town and neither of us drove, that was a lot of bus rides.

-Met him at a college dance. We gradually went to "just friends", and he then became my mother's accountant.

-Met him at a frat party. Together 5 years.

-Met him in a parking lot. Together 4 very long years.

-The father of my kids. I actually was friends with his mother first, and she fixed us up.

-Met her on a site where we were both admins. I count her as my first really powerful attraction to another woman, though we decided to be just friends (and we still are). Went to England to visit her, even though we wouldn't be together. She's been married to her partner for a year or so.

-Met her on gaydar, first falling in love, and all the physical part with, another woman. A relationship didn't work out but we're still close friends today. Ironically, she's also happily married to her partner. Everyone gets married after they date me

.

Present day....crushing on Beaker

.

Venus007 · 12-22-2012, 01:29 PM

I am not at all counting the numerous catch and release encounters, just the few I have dated. . .

-met him at church
-met her at a dog boarding kennel, 1st love and we are still friends almost 30 years later
-met her at a bar
-met her at a rave
-met him at a sweat lodge
-met her at a Pysanky party, together 10 years, still close friends
-met him on the dash site
-she emailed me out of the blue, met at an art museum, 4 years and counting

Soft*Silver · 12-22-2012, 02:06 PM

Placed an add in our local gay paper, dated alot. Met Her and we hooked up and dated about a year. She was an attny and ended up stalking me, even tho she was the one cheating on me. LOL.

Answered an add in our local gay paper that said "gentleman butch seeking high heeled lipstick wearing femme" we were married for 7 years.

Placed an add on a match site, looking for a dinner companion while I was at a western state (I am east) for a convention. He answered, we met, fell in love. Were together 2 1/2 years.

Met HER thru selling a horse to her. HER. the love of my life woman. the one who got under my skin and I still love to this day. We have just started a friendship again. We have eons of lives together. She is my samarai. Someday i will write a story about us...we were together for 2 1/3 years

then I started moving to be with people....I do NOT advise this for anyone with any ties or property...

Married a PA butch I found on the old butchfemme dating site, who cheated on me right after we moved in together. Found out later this was pretty much her MO.

Moved to upstate NY and lived on a sheep farm with mini ponies, and geese and handsome big butch I met on that butchfemme dating site. One of my fondest memories is from this time and has nothing to do with her at all. She is the one I write about as the sociopath. Nothing and I mean nothing had any root to reality or truth to it. I was gone in less than a year. She did major damage to me.

Moved to NH. Moved back to Ohio. Less than a year.

Swore off relationships. Had an online relationship with someone I dearly loved but was too broken to really make the move again, emotionally and geographically.Met her thru a different BF forum site,. I was so damaged. so very very damaged. I swore to god I would never love again and pushed everyone away. I had relapsed in my AA recovery and needed time to heal mentally physically and spiritually. I am strong again in recovery and if ever I was to move again to be with someone, this person would be her but we both knew neither of us would give up our homes. So we remain dear friends.

Was on FB advocating for a cat shelter, and met chrissy. He is a man of a different nature. Born male, definitely female natured and surely femme. NONE of which I preferred. But admired his intelligence and values and humor. We became FB friends. Over weeks, we chatted, then met. And then he began to serve me as his Missus. I became ill, needed surgery and he tended to me as my nurse. He moved in to take care of me. My heart that was stone cold and traumatized, healed while my body healed. I fell in love. He had always been in love. This is such a different kind of relationship for me..a man, a femme man, and totally female directed relationship. We are set to be married in July.

CherylNYC · 12-22-2012, 02:08 PM

The really significant ones:

I met him in Junior High School. We shared some of the same girlfriends and boyfriends. (Don't laugh, it was the '70s.) After a period of nowhere to live, I moved in with him into his E. Village apartment. What misery! I got my own apartment sometime in the year before I graduated HS. Whew!

She was a student in the women's Pagan study circle I taught. I couldn't get over her until I had an epiphany while watching the sun set over the Snake Mound in Ohio during the Harmonic Convergence.

She was checking in the newcomers at a Pagan gathering.

She was a Deacon in the Metropolitan Community Church.

She demanded my attention at a post-Pride party attended by the Sirens, (women's motorcycle club), and our friends. We were the only women in the bar NOT high on ecstasy. After two years we were handfasted, (Pagan commitment ceremony), and lived together another six.

She was drumming at a ceremony/party thrown by the above mentioned attention-getting ex. We lived together four years until she was struck by a truck while riding her motorcycle to work.

She showed up at a Lesbian Sex Mafia meeting. She remembered me keenly from an early Sirens MC meeting, but I didn't remember her. She died of cancer nine months later.

She's a member of our sister motorcycle club in Boston. Can I tell you how relieved I am that she didn't die?! Sadly, she and the first boyfriend are the only exes with whom I'm still friends.

nycfem · 12-22-2012, 03:28 PM

Met her in college. Friends told me she was crazy and also that she was obsessed with me. Her semi-stalking of me continued and then I kind of gave in with some degree of intrigue. Chaos ensued. Got back in contact years later and maintain a light friendship.

Met her at a Butch Femme Society Meeting. First self-identified butch. Lots of sparks. She wanted to be poly. I didn't at the time, wanted much more of a traditional fairytale.

Met her through a BF personal ad. Answered her ad. Fell in love but wasn't truly happy, some issues that could not be resolved. Maintained friendship until she passed away.

Met hym through the BF personals. One fateful day I introduced hym to a femme friend, "Hey, you have to meet X. She's a vegan massage therapist just like you except she's a femme!" They ran off with each other and are still together. I don't talk to either of them. I never even received a "thank you" card, let alone a large lump sum payment for my inadvertent, highly successful match-making.

Met hym through the nyc BF community. Can't recall how. Hot sex with lots of arguing. Now we don't keep in contact but genuinely enjoy running into each other on the rare occasion.

BB and I initially met on the dash site and were in contact but no hook up. Then we happened to meet at a friend's birthday party at a karoke dive bar in Chinatown, and the lust between us was immediate. We had a rocky first six months [insert drama that I take full responsibility for] and then I made a real commitment and neither of us have looked back since (been over seven years of being deeply in love and happy).

Fatale · 12-22-2012, 03:43 PM

I think this thread is marvelous.

She was on another softball team. I think we were 13. I pitched and whenever she was at bat I experienced sadistic and bittersweet glee if I happened to strike her out. She said she would kiss me if my team won. It was a glorious kiss. My connection to her was ephemeral but it was significant.

I attended a girls' school. Dabbling was requisite.

I met her at a reading when our eyes happened to meet even as we were both rolling our own.

She was driving the tow truck that came to pick up my bike when I had a flat.

We both grabbed the same taxi door handle in a downpour in NYC.

I sent her a drink. She was nervous and splashed it a bit.

A mutual friend introduced us. And was then petulant when we clicked.

She was a beautiful stranger on the street and I asked her to marry me. It was a lovely six months.

We met online. I sent her on a scavenger hunt for location clues to our first face to face meeting spot.

Dance-with-me · 12-22-2012, 04:14 PM

Interesting thread!

Met through being students together in college.

Met as I was reading the bulletin board at the women's center in the city I was visiting.

Met when I audited a women's study class at my alma mater (engineering students don't have the time for such things!) - she looked back at me, smiled one of the nicest smiles I've ever known, then offered me some candy.

Met through mutual friends, and I was near-obsessed with her for months before she'd actually date me.

Met through our involvement with a local lesbian organization and participation at one of their annual events.

Met through butch-femme.com personals.

And now.... who knows where my next love will appear.

Venus007 · 12-22-2012, 05:06 PM

How could I forget her. . .

The crazy Russian, met as prostitute 1 and 2 in a community theater production of Guys and Dolls.

She goes between "dog boarding kennel" and "at a bar"

MsTinkerbelly · 12-22-2012, 05:29 PM

Met him through bowling league, took him away from his wife and kids...my only real regret in life. I was 18 and we were together 4 years.

Met my ex-husband (daughters father) while at work....8 years

Met my Wife on yahoo personals...10 years and going strong

Dated a bit otherwise, but nothing major

dixie · 12-22-2012, 06:12 PM

Met in high school

Met at the gay bar

Met on dash site

Met on fetlife

Met on here

Met on facebook

chefhmboyrd · 12-28-2012, 01:30 PM

i landed on her porch one day...
we met at an all night club...
we met at work...
we met at a football tryout...
we met through football (different one)...
we knew each other through mutual football friends (still yet a different one)...
met at Apocs's...
knew each other from football before (and was dating one of my football exes)...
met at a bar...
met at a bar (different bar/different girl)...
met through mutual friends... (now we are engaged)

12-22-2012, 12:49 PM	#1
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,118 Thanked 7,386 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	This made me laugh -Met him at a high school boys' gymnastic meet where we were scorekeepers for our respective teams. We were involved off and on for the rest of high school, but since we lived across town and neither of us drove, that was a lot of bus rides. -Met him at a college dance. We gradually went to "just friends", and he then became my mother's accountant. -Met him at a frat party. Together 5 years. -Met him in a parking lot. Together 4 very long years. -The father of my kids. I actually was friends with his mother first, and she fixed us up. -Met her on a site where we were both admins. I count her as my first really powerful attraction to another woman, though we decided to be just friends (and we still are). Went to England to visit her, even though we wouldn't be together. She's been married to her partner for a year or so. -Met her on gaydar, first falling in love, and all the physical part with, another woman. A relationship didn't work out but we're still close friends today. Ironically, she's also happily married to her partner. Everyone gets married after they date me . Present day....crushing on Beaker . __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

12-22-2012, 01:29 PM	#2
Venus007 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status: Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Houston area Posts: 1,362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,417 Thanked 4,746 Times in 1,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I am not at all counting the numerous catch and release encounters, just the few I have dated. . . -met him at church -met her at a dog boarding kennel, 1st love and we are still friends almost 30 years later -met her at a bar -met her at a rave -met him at a sweat lodge -met her at a Pysanky party, together 10 years, still close friends -met him on the dash site -she emailed me out of the blue, met at an art museum, 4 years and counting __________________ . "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary

12-22-2012, 02:06 PM	#3
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,894 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	a lil more than 20 years ago Placed an add in our local gay paper, dated alot. Met Her and we hooked up and dated about a year. She was an attny and ended up stalking me, even tho she was the one cheating on me. LOL. Answered an add in our local gay paper that said "gentleman butch seeking high heeled lipstick wearing femme" we were married for 7 years. Placed an add on a match site, looking for a dinner companion while I was at a western state (I am east) for a convention. He answered, we met, fell in love. Were together 2 1/2 years. Met HER thru selling a horse to her. HER. the love of my life woman. the one who got under my skin and I still love to this day. We have just started a friendship again. We have eons of lives together. She is my samarai. Someday i will write a story about us...we were together for 2 1/3 years then I started moving to be with people....I do NOT advise this for anyone with any ties or property... Married a PA butch I found on the old butchfemme dating site, who cheated on me right after we moved in together. Found out later this was pretty much her MO. Moved to upstate NY and lived on a sheep farm with mini ponies, and geese and handsome big butch I met on that butchfemme dating site. One of my fondest memories is from this time and has nothing to do with her at all. She is the one I write about as the sociopath. Nothing and I mean nothing had any root to reality or truth to it. I was gone in less than a year. She did major damage to me. Moved to NH. Moved back to Ohio. Less than a year. Swore off relationships. Had an online relationship with someone I dearly loved but was too broken to really make the move again, emotionally and geographically.Met her thru a different BF forum site,. I was so damaged. so very very damaged. I swore to god I would never love again and pushed everyone away. I had relapsed in my AA recovery and needed time to heal mentally physically and spiritually. I am strong again in recovery and if ever I was to move again to be with someone, this person would be her but we both knew neither of us would give up our homes. So we remain dear friends. Was on FB advocating for a cat shelter, and met chrissy. He is a man of a different nature. Born male, definitely female natured and surely femme. NONE of which I preferred. But admired his intelligence and values and humor. We became FB friends. Over weeks, we chatted, then met. And then he began to serve me as his Missus. I became ill, needed surgery and he tended to me as my nurse. He moved in to take care of me. My heart that was stone cold and traumatized, healed while my body healed. I fell in love. He had always been in love. This is such a different kind of relationship for me..a man, a femme man, and totally female directed relationship. We are set to be married in July. __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

12-22-2012, 02:08 PM	#4
CherylNYC Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: I'm a woman. Behave accordingly. Relationship Status: Single, not looking. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: NYC Posts: 1,467 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,474 Thanked 7,111 Times in 1,205 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	The really significant ones: I met him in Junior High School. We shared some of the same girlfriends and boyfriends. (Don't laugh, it was the '70s.) After a period of nowhere to live, I moved in with him into his E. Village apartment. What misery! I got my own apartment sometime in the year before I graduated HS. Whew! She was a student in the women's Pagan study circle I taught. I couldn't get over her until I had an epiphany while watching the sun set over the Snake Mound in Ohio during the Harmonic Convergence. She was checking in the newcomers at a Pagan gathering. She was a Deacon in the Metropolitan Community Church. She demanded my attention at a post-Pride party attended by the Sirens, (women's motorcycle club), and our friends. We were the only women in the bar NOT high on ecstasy. After two years we were handfasted, (Pagan commitment ceremony), and lived together another six. She was drumming at a ceremony/party thrown by the above mentioned attention-getting ex. We lived together four years until she was struck by a truck while riding her motorcycle to work. She showed up at a Lesbian Sex Mafia meeting. She remembered me keenly from an early Sirens MC meeting, but I didn't remember her. She died of cancer nine months later. She's a member of our sister motorcycle club in Boston. Can I tell you how relieved I am that she didn't die?! Sadly, she and the first boyfriend are the only exes with whom I'm still friends. __________________ Cheryl

12-22-2012, 03:28 PM	#5
nycfem Moderator How Do You Identify?: femme sub Preferred Pronoun?: Baby Grrl Relationship Status: Attached Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 6,794 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 52,987 Thanked 21,426 Times in 5,101 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Met her in college. Friends told me she was crazy and also that she was obsessed with me. Her semi-stalking of me continued and then I kind of gave in with some degree of intrigue. Chaos ensued. Got back in contact years later and maintain a light friendship. Met her at a Butch Femme Society Meeting. First self-identified butch. Lots of sparks. She wanted to be poly. I didn't at the time, wanted much more of a traditional fairytale. Met her through a BF personal ad. Answered her ad. Fell in love but wasn't truly happy, some issues that could not be resolved. Maintained friendship until she passed away. Met hym through the BF personals. One fateful day I introduced hym to a femme friend, "Hey, you have to meet X. She's a vegan massage therapist just like you except she's a femme!" They ran off with each other and are still together. I don't talk to either of them. I never even received a "thank you" card, let alone a large lump sum payment for my inadvertent, highly successful match-making. Met hym through the nyc BF community. Can't recall how. Hot sex with lots of arguing. Now we don't keep in contact but genuinely enjoy running into each other on the rare occasion. BB and I initially met on the dash site and were in contact but no hook up. Then we happened to meet at a friend's birthday party at a karoke dive bar in Chinatown, and the lust between us was immediate. We had a rocky first six months [insert drama that I take full responsibility for] and then I made a real commitment and neither of us have looked back since (been over seven years of being deeply in love and happy). __________________ *** How do I... ?** Check out the Members Helping Members thread: http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...embers+Helping Last edited by nycfem; 12-22-2012 at 11:41 PM. Reason: misspelling as usual

12-22-2012, 03:43 PM	#6
Fatale Member How Do You Identify?: Not your average babe in the woods. Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Singular Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: The edge Posts: 210 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22 Thanked 896 Times in 166 Posts Rep Power: 12150548	I think this thread is marvelous. She was on another softball team. I think we were 13. I pitched and whenever she was at bat I experienced sadistic and bittersweet glee if I happened to strike her out. She said she would kiss me if my team won. It was a glorious kiss. My connection to her was ephemeral but it was significant. I attended a girls' school. Dabbling was requisite. I met her at a reading when our eyes happened to meet even as we were both rolling our own. She was driving the tow truck that came to pick up my bike when I had a flat. We both grabbed the same taxi door handle in a downpour in NYC. I sent her a drink. She was nervous and splashed it a bit. A mutual friend introduced us. And was then petulant when we clicked. She was a beautiful stranger on the street and I asked her to marry me. It was a lovely six months. We met online. I sent her on a scavenger hunt for location clues to our first face to face meeting spot.

12-22-2012, 04:14 PM	#7
Dance-with-me Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: earth Posts: 419 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 264 Thanked 1,926 Times in 378 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Interesting thread! Met through being students together in college. Met as I was reading the bulletin board at the women's center in the city I was visiting. Met when I audited a women's study class at my alma mater (engineering students don't have the time for such things!) - she looked back at me, smiled one of the nicest smiles I've ever known, then offered me some candy. Met through mutual friends, and I was near-obsessed with her for months before she'd actually date me. Met through our involvement with a local lesbian organization and participation at one of their annual events. Met through butch-femme.com personals. And now.... who knows where my next love will appear. __________________ Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. ~Mahatma Gandhi

12-22-2012, 05:06 PM	#8
Venus007 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status: Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Houston area Posts: 1,362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,417 Thanked 4,746 Times in 1,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	How could I forget her. . . The crazy Russian, met as prostitute 1 and 2 in a community theater production of Guys and Dolls. She goes between "dog boarding kennel" and "at a bar" __________________ . "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary

12-22-2012, 05:29 PM	#9
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,901 Times in 5,017 Posts Rep Power: 0	Met him through bowling league, took him away from his wife and kids...my only real regret in life. I was 18 and we were together 4 years. Met my ex-husband (daughters father) while at work....8 years Met my Wife on yahoo personals...10 years and going strong Dated a bit otherwise, but nothing major Last edited by MsTinkerbelly; 12-22-2012 at 05:32 PM.

12-22-2012, 06:12 PM	#10
dixie Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: I usually just poke it with a stick. Preferred Pronoun?: Bitch Relationship Status: Intertwined deeply Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: We're all a little mad here. Posts: 6,627 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,972 Thanked 21,383 Times in 4,808 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	fairly boring..... Met in high school Met at the gay bar Met on dash site Met on fetlife Met on here Met on facebook

12-28-2012, 01:30 PM	#11
chefhmboyrd Senior Member How Do You Identify?: man Preferred Pronoun?: beef Relationship Status: Uncle Daddy Snap Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: nashvegas Posts: 1,607 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,411 Thanked 2,846 Times in 898 Posts Rep Power: 14271905	let's go back 20... i landed on her porch one day... we met at an all night club... we met at work... we met at a football tryout... we met through football (different one)... we knew each other through mutual football friends (still yet a different one)... met at Apocs's... knew each other from football before (and was dating one of my football exes)... met at a bar... met at a bar (different bar/different girl)... met through mutual friends... (now we are engaged) __________________ what's a cowboy got to do to get a drink around here?