Infidelity

[bigbutchmistie]

Originally Posted by softness

deep heavy sigh

I have been cheated on. It caused me to lose my family farm. And a 7 year marriage to my butch husband. Gave my 17 year old daughter shingles and almost ruined her college dreams. I had to sell my family heirlooms to her in college. I had to sell all my beautiful horses. Then he called me and said he knows how it felt because she did the same thing to him just a couple months after he left me for her.

I dont know if he wanted pity or to return home. Neither was given.

I almost lost my mind over this. All it would have taken, seriously, was for him to butch up and put on his big boy panties and tell me he wanted to move on. Instead, he told me on a Thursday and was gone with no forwarding address on Saturday. I had a field of horses, a kid graduating and no money in the bank and no hay in the barn. My utilities were on shut off and he hadnt paid our mortage in months...

people turn into totally different people when they cheat.

but then, maybe not. He cheated with the woman before me. She was married and he had a 2 year relationship with her.

So I think, cheaters are cheaters and once done, in any direction, its prone to happen again.

I have had two more people cheat on me since then, but they didnt do as much damage as this one did. This one threw me, and I ended up losing so much that I am still financially recovering from it.

Infidelity isnt, to me, about the fact that my partner is fucking someone else. And thats what it is, because if you are partnered, you are fucking someone else. You can call it making love but trust me, you are fucking them.

Infidelity to me is about the incredible web of lies and deceptions played out on the partner and the assumption that the partner is so stupid that the obvious signs can be denied and therefore, believed. It is such a smack in the face to my intelligence, my sensitivity and respect for me as a woman, let alone as a partner. There is no reason in the world why it is ok for someone who made a committment to someone, to look outside of the relationship for what a partner is suppose to give.

No matter how its justified.

Infidelity strips the clothes off someone, makes them stand nakkid in front of the enture world and humliates them when being stared at as the innocent but stupid victim of the person who everyone knew was cheating but you...

infidelity does indeed harden the nipples, dampens the nether regions, flushes the flesh..but only of the two out of three

the third person gets to howl into the night, cry a river of tears that never seems to end, and blackens their heart so that no one will ever get that level of trust in this lifetime again.

Infidelity is for the weak...they have no backbone to do the right thing. They have no brain to have a conciousness. They have no heart to know the depth to which they are going to seriously injure the person they once promised to love. Infidels are cowards....

in saying all this...it would be a cold day in hell before I would forgive someone who cheated on me, specifically more so if they knew my history of having been victimized by a cheater and his more than opportuned GF.

so no, its not an outdated concept....and no, I would not stay in a relationship with someone who cheated on me....

I cant double your thanks so Im a do it here THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU wonderful post my friend...

I am sorry that all of that happened to you

[Laidbackgrly]

well ive been cheated on too i do beleive in Karma ive seen it right befor my own eyes

[Soft*Silver]

uhmmm...I dont see karma as a big paddle with holes in it for more effect. Karma is a sacred path that helps people evolve. It raises their consciousness and leads them by the spiritual hand to make ammends, which is so much more than a simple "I am sorry". Real ammends means you have gone thru and done whatever you need to do to make sure it wont happen again. And I think the ammends is also flavored with atonement, where they humbly realize they had faulty thinking and behavior and that upon recognizing it, grow into a larger spiritual being.

I actully am done being mad at him ... I actually understand why he did it. I can even see my part in it. If he needed something more than likely I would try to help him out. But you have to realize it took me years and lots of prayers and burning candles and well, hollering at the moon, to get where I am spiritually with this...