The Femme Continuum: The "Highs" and "Lows" of Visibility

[stepfordfemme]

Originally Posted by femmeInterrupted

Just came across this image on Pinterest. Thought of this thread.

So I feel conflicted as a QWF that's being called out here.

I don't say "femme invisibility" in these threads to claim being wronged by society as a whole. It's a loss of community I have felt. It's a feeling and experience that is solely mine, that makes me feel less isolated when it's echoed back from a femme sister. It's an experience that not everyone shares for sure.

And as a QWF, I would never try to own someone else's experience as a person of color, a transgendered person, or anything else that isn't my experience to own.

I know that I have privilege and safety, there is an alternate thread in the Femme Zone called unpacking the purse--discussing femme privilege. I guess as this a venue for me to connect with my femme sisters in way that I normally don't get to do regularly. I think we should all have the chance to speak in our voices.

But sometimes I feel like when we don't share experiences with each other for the sake of saying "x, y or z has it so much worse" it shuts down a venue for people to discuss. I want everyone to share whatever experiences they've had in their lives. Because the only person that can speak your story is you.

This isn't meant as a retort, so much as its a desire to open up discussion.

[femmeInterrupted]

Originally Posted by stepfordfemme

I guess as this a venue for me to connect with my femme sisters in way that I normally don't get to do regularly. I think we should all have the chance to speak in our voices.

This isn't meant as a retort, so much as its a desire to open up discussion.

I love that we have this venue/space to connect. You are so right in that many of us don't get to do so regularly.

As a QWF myself, that image, and the words spoke to me. I received them as an ally to my femme sisters who are WOC. I acknowledge the reality of how their experience(s) differ from my own.

I don't feel personally, that femme invisibility, is an issue for me OUTSIDE of our own communities. I also truly believe that there is no hierarchy of oppression, and that all of our experiences are real, valid and worthy of sharing.