New sex partner=new toys? Your opinion - Page 2

Erryl · 12-30-2013, 04:28 PM

I vote new toys. I know, I know, they are expensive. That's my feelings though. If you are using the toys just on yourself and you begin a new relationship I think it's alright to use your toys if she is comfy with it. My issue is that I wouldn't want someone's ex's favorite sex toy in me. I know it can be washed and all that but it's the principle of the thing.

For those who have body related attachment to it, I can see why you wouldn't want to buy a new one. Maybe that should be on a case by case kind of basis? I don't have much experience in that area but would assume that a good honest conversation with the partner would be in order.

imperfect_cupcake · 12-30-2013, 05:16 PM

Ok but what if it's not an ex and all toys were used on me. and bought by me, for me.
as in, I don't just have sex when I'm in a relationship. I have casual sex from time to time. In those instances they usually use my toys on me. I don't generally use toys on them.

So if it's NOT an ex, *I* bought it for *me* and it had nothing to do with being inserted in *them*, what about then?

AnnRkey · 12-30-2013, 07:27 PM

I side with buying new toys when you get a new partner. I've used a toy on two different people and the sex was great but part of me still felt guilty, remorseful, I'm not sure it just wasn't a good feeling. So I will continue buying new toys if I get a new partner.

Erryl · 12-30-2013, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

Ok but what if it's not an ex and all toys were used on me. and bought by me, for me.
as in, I don't just have sex when I'm in a relationship. I have casual sex from time to time. In those instances they usually use my toys on me. I don't generally use toys on them.

So if it's NOT an ex, *I* bought it for *me* and it had nothing to do with being inserted in *them*, what about then?

I see why thats a grey area but it really boils down to honesty. If the person youre using them in doesn't care then that's cool. For me, I guess I feel like if a relationship was the goal I'd just go with the...er respect? Kindess? Whatever... of new toys. It might not bother some people at all though. What's important is that everyone ia open and honest. Thats true about everything with sex really. Thats my $0.02.

Tuff Stuff · 09-01-2015, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meridiantoo

I am having a debate with a butch friend of mine and we wanted to enlist the opinions of others to see what is the norm and what reasoning people have behind their opinion...

If you have a new sex partner, does that require new toys also? Is that just a preference or a requirement? Does it include all toys or just the most intimate ones? And why do you hold your opinion?

I will start with my view on this. I am not comfortable having sex with someone who is using any toys from previous lovers. This is not a territorial thing for me, it's a matter of respect and boundaries and practicing good hygiene. I can't deny a twinge of jealousy or some feeling with the idea that a toy we are using was also used with another woman, but mostly it's about my partner and her perspective on respect and boundaries, not so much about the ex lover.

Thanks for sharing!

Point taken..
Well,safe sex is important for me to and my partner.My butch dick belongs to my gf,alone.Then there's this monster that belongs to the community.I practice safe sex and I use condoms.I just bought some new toys the other day because I respect this new lover a great deal and we plan to have more than a one nighter.

Daisy Chain · 09-01-2015, 06:47 PM

I have come back to this thread a few times and I`m still on the fence. Its such a grey area.

First reaction would be always new. New relationship, new beginning, new US and I dont want any ghosts in the bedroom thank you. {I say relationship as I`m not a casual sex kinda girl}.

However....what I hadnt thought of until reading some of the posts was that Hy may well, and quite understandably, regard Hys cock as part of Hym, and for a Femme to say, `that has to go I want new`, well I can see why Hy would have an issue with that. So on that score if my Honey felt that way my heart would want to respect Hym and all that Hy was though I`m not so sure if I could persuade my legs to uncross.

....although if Hy packed most of the time and as our relationship and intimacy levels built then I suppose I would view it and Hym as whole and one so.....I think that would be fine.

I`m going to get some feedback from Hym, I may post again.

HHmmm

Daisy

DapperButch · 09-02-2015, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy Chain

I have come back to this thread a few times and I`m still on the fence. Its such a grey area.

First reaction would be always new. New relationship, new beginning, new US and I dont want any ghosts in the bedroom thank you. {I say relationship as I`m not a casual sex kinda girl}.

However....what I hadnt thought of until reading some of the posts was that Hy may well, and quite understandably, regard Hys cock as part of Hym, and for a Femme to say, `that has to go I want new`, well I can see why Hy would have an issue with that.

Daisy

Alternatively, a butch could buy the same cock over and over again.

I have. More than once. More than twice. More than thrice.

I don't plan to do that again.

storyspinner70 · 09-17-2015, 06:01 PM

I have to say I don't get the concept of new partner = new toys...not at all...My butch has toys she loves...why would I ask her to go out and spend tons on new things for me? The tools people use are secondary to the pleasure that comes from them. And for butches who consider their cocks body parts not toys, I'd suspect the suggestion may even be insulting. Unless you're a virgin or dating one, everyone has exes. They're part of the experiences that make you who you are. I dunno. It's never a big deal to me. But, to each their own and as long as you both agree, that's all that matters.

12-30-2013, 04:28 PM	#1
Erryl Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Female Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Arkansas Posts: 42 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 23 Thanked 94 Times in 20 Posts Rep Power: 2317130	I vote new toys. I know, I know, they are expensive. That's my feelings though. If you are using the toys just on yourself and you begin a new relationship I think it's alright to use your toys if she is comfy with it. My issue is that I wouldn't want someone's ex's favorite sex toy in me. I know it can be washed and all that but it's the principle of the thing. For those who have body related attachment to it, I can see why you wouldn't want to buy a new one. Maybe that should be on a case by case kind of basis? I don't have much experience in that area but would assume that a good honest conversation with the partner would be in order. __________________ "Don't waste your breath proclaiming what's really important to you. How you spend your time says it all." -E. Zorn

12-30-2013, 05:16 PM	#2
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Ok but what if it's not an ex and all toys were used on me. and bought by me, for me. as in, I don't just have sex when I'm in a relationship. I have casual sex from time to time. In those instances they usually use my toys on me. I don't generally use toys on them. So if it's NOT an ex, I bought it for me and it had nothing to do with being inserted in them, what about then?

12-30-2013, 07:27 PM	#3
AnnRkey Member How Do You Identify?: As Myself Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Unknown & Known Universe Posts: 226 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 406 Thanked 420 Times in 143 Posts Rep Power: 2875677	I side with buying new toys when you get a new partner. I've used a toy on two different people and the sex was great but part of me still felt guilty, remorseful, I'm not sure it just wasn't a good feeling. So I will continue buying new toys if I get a new partner.

09-01-2015, 06:47 PM	#6
Daisy Chain Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Hy calls me Hys Kitten Join Date: May 2015 Location: 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning Posts: 729 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,814 Thanked 1,808 Times in 447 Posts Rep Power: 0	I have come back to this thread a few times and I`m still on the fence. Its such a grey area. First reaction would be always new. New relationship, new beginning, new US and I dont want any ghosts in the bedroom thank you. {I say relationship as I`m not a casual sex kinda girl}. However....what I hadnt thought of until reading some of the posts was that Hy may well, and quite understandably, regard Hys cock as part of Hym, and for a Femme to say, `that has to go I want new`, well I can see why Hy would have an issue with that. So on that score if my Honey felt that way my heart would want to respect Hym and all that Hy was though I`m not so sure if I could persuade my legs to uncross. ....although if Hy packed most of the time and as our relationship and intimacy levels built then I suppose I would view it and Hym as whole and one so.....I think that would be fine. I`m going to get some feedback from Hym, I may post again. HHmmm Daisy

09-17-2015, 06:01 PM	#8
storyspinner70 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Babygirl Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: VA Posts: 353 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,364 Thanked 985 Times in 287 Posts Rep Power: 8681947	I have to say I don't get the concept of new partner = new toys...not at all...My butch has toys she loves...why would I ask her to go out and spend tons on new things for me? The tools people use are secondary to the pleasure that comes from them. And for butches who consider their cocks body parts not toys, I'd suspect the suggestion may even be insulting. Unless you're a virgin or dating one, everyone has exes. They're part of the experiences that make you who you are. I dunno. It's never a big deal to me. But, to each their own and as long as you both agree, that's all that matters.