How Do You Self-Identify...and why.

[meridiantoo]

I think I adopted the femme identity label because it more closely fits than any other label. I'm not opposed to labels; I think they can tell you basic ideas of expression in a short time period. Specifically online where you have absence of other cues and experiences with people, you can get a decent jest of someone with a label. That's not to say we all fit our labels perfectly, though.

I am femme in that I love frills, girl-talk, and butches as my partners. I am not femme in that my sexual preference is not #1 on the overall list of who I am. I identify first and foremost as a women, followed by a Christian, then as a femme lesbian. I think there is a distinction between 'woman' and 'femme lesbian' for me. Woman, for me, means I am half a whole. I am by nature the yin of that half and what it encompasses, as well as endless possibilities as a human being. To say this does not mean a butch woman is not also a 'woman' in identity. She may or may not identify as her/she, but rather by hym/hy. The femme lesbian label is more constricting. It places me in an exclusively-defined role and character, which I do not always agree with nor accept.

When I bring this label into the GLBTQ community, I think my femme lesbian identity can also be constricting even among those I consider my peers as far as what people see in that label and the inferences they take from it. I think it's humorous at times and also frustrating.

I like this thread a lot. Thank you for starting it!

[~baby~doll~]

When I first discovered my different nature compared to the rest of the world the only word I knew was queer but I kept that to myself. A year or so later I learned the word dyke and after that I learned lesbian.
What is my identity?
Third Gender Queer, Gynesexual/romantic, Demisexual, Polyamorous and happy to be me.
I go by Queer it saves a lot of explaining over the terms that best describe me.

[Happyfemme]

I am very much femme for lots of reasons. I am very girly and when I am in a relationship it is with someone who identifies as butch or ftm.

[DJ Bear]

Male, 100%. I've know since I was little that my body was the wrong one, my mind just knew that. Unfortunately it has been a decades long road for me to identify as FTM. I'm finally living who I am now. It feels good, it feels real, it feels right.

[imperfect_cupcake]

heart = girlie girl
gender = femme and my other gender is woman
sex = female (I get very irritated when people confuse sex and gender)
sexual orientation = dyke/queer. I often call myself lesbian though I'm not formost vagina driven. dyke cock is the first, then vagina. but both enjoyed.

I was not born femme. I was born female then I learned that my characteristics that i grew into were tomboy. I loved girl clothes but had no desire to hang out with other girls at all.
It wasn't till I realised I was a dyke that my big huge drag queen little girl came out.
I was happy to meet her.
I've slowly let go of the tomboy in the past 10 years, of having to prove I'm "capable" - I don't have to be good at fixing things. I still love camping and snakes etc but I no longer feel I have to prove anything by doing all the repairs. And frankly, I don't want to do any cleaning either. I'm happy to pay other people to do it.

so perhaps I've gotten rather urban as well.

[Girl_On_Fire]

Queer Femme. When I first came out, I used to word "lesbian" but it just never seemed to fit me right. Then I started discovering my attraction to male-identified butches and trans guys and I went..."Oh." One of my closest friends told me there was a name for that: Queer Transensual Femme. I loved it. But recently I just shorted it to Queer Femme. I still use lesbian so others outside the B/F community can relate. Sometimes I loathe lengthy explanations.

[wahya]

I am Butch but also consider myself two spirited. I also have a couple of other titles I am fine with too. Mom, Ba Ba ( grandson's name for me) I look like a male but I think like a woman. I think that women by nature are more intelligent then men are.(my opinion) I am attracted to strong,smart & independent femmes. But in the bedroom I like to be in total control.

[Library_girl]

I am very much femme and identify as femme or even high femme. I wear lots of labels like femme, sub, babygirl, etc. I embrace labels and it's probably because I'm a librarian--we classify everything.

To the rest of the world, gay or straight, I'm a lesbian and that's fine with me. I am a lesbian too. In the LGBT world, some recognize me as femme. I came out of the closet when I was 17, then figured out that I was a femme when I was about 22 or 23. That was like a second coming out--what a thrill!

Now that I'm in love with and in a committed relationship with a FTM, some may be inclined to question my self definition of "lesbian". I still consider myself part of the gay community, the LGBT community, but my identity is mine, not someone else's.

I think identity, for me anyway, is something that evolves and grows with time. Whether it's gender identity, sexual identity, cultural identity, or what have you. I'm fascinated by this and just love the multitudes and diversity of identities in our world.