Trust and Technology

[Ciaran]

Originally Posted by Girl_On_Fire

I've heard in some committed relationships, the understood and expected norm is shared email addresses, cell phone numbers, Facebook accounts, and passwords for everything. Oftentimes this isn't just for convenience but for the express purpose of checking up on each other and "keeping each other honest" in the relationship.

How do you feel about this behavior for the above-mentioned purpose? Is this the established rule in your committed relationship? Or do you believe this crosses certain personal boundaries? Or are you somewhere in between?

I can understand having a "family" or "joint" email account for shared issues - for example, if you're managing work on your house and want all emails to be shared and either party to take forward etc. Similar, in some respects, to having a joint bank account.


However, to actually share and give access to passwords for personal email accounts and other online profiles (facebook, this site etc). You've got to be joking. If a partner actually sought this from me and thought it was a reasonable request - well, the relationship would be over before I could say, "No chance".


Similarly, even if a partner was happy giving me her passwords etc, I wouldn't want to access her accounts. I value privacy and just as I often need privacy in my own life, I don't want to intrude on the privacy of others.


To me it's not only about trust. It's about what a relationship is and isn't. I'm all for relationships - but my sense of being in a relationship doesn't involve being, metaphorically speaking, a siamese twin.