Trust and Technology

[Angeltoes]

Lol this is ridiculous...why are people not allowed to set the parameters of their own relationships without being called names? Think about this, there may be people who read this thread but decided to say nothing because they agree with password sharing but did not feel like dealing with personal attacks. Of course, everyone is entitled to voice their opinion, it just seems highly ironic that on THIS website some people are so eager to put others in a good or bad box simply because they think differently. What is it to me if someone else wants to share passwords or wear mismatched socks or eat cheerios for dinner? It means nothing to me. I may giggle at the things you do but I'm not going to try to tear you down for them. That's such BS. IMO it's mostly about showcasing and trying to tell the world something about how much cooler we are than other people.

My question is this: is everyone in this thread here to have an honest dialogue or is this the thread where we're supposed to bag on people who think differently? Because that in itself is a really 'creepy' form of control that I try to stay away from.

[Ascot]

My feelings about this piggyback something I addressed in another thread and that is that I think we ought not only have a rich inner, privately held life, but should be encouraged to do so. Just in the way I feel each partner should have their own set of friends with whom they do things from time to time without the other. Call me nutty, but I like the idea of retaining a bit of mystery. If I'm feeling insecure, I'll address it. If you don't trust me I expect you tell me. I'm not concerned with your missives, and likely you won't care that occasionally I might visit Martha Stewart's site. No password exchange necessary; it's not going to happen and it's got not one iota to do with the idea that I might have anything to hide.

[Sun]

If I get a sense that someone is being dishonest with me, I am out. So there is never going to be a need for me to want a password or any such thing (to me that would be a violation of her privacy). It is awesome to have friends and I think it is great if the person that I am with has a healthy circle of friends. I have to have trust in a relationship or I have nothing.

If I am getting to know someone and she is jealous of my friends, I am out. For me, friends are a rich part of my life and there is no need for jealousy, if I am really into someone, she is all that I see.

Honesty is a wonderful thing. It would be amazing if everyone were honest in relationships. Especially if they are starting a new relationship and still have lets say a live in partner, husband or wife that they decide to not disclose to the person that they are getting to know. If a person feels the need to read their partners emails, text, or whatever, that for me signals a train wreck waiting to happen.

[Sun]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

Of course, everyone is entitled to voice their opinion, it just seems highly ironic that on THIS website some people are so eager to put others in a good or bad box simply because they think differently.

This seems to imply a higher moral or ethical code is assumed for people on "THIS" website.

As for "highly ironic" I am not seeing an opposition to any literal meaning.

Ironic.

[Ciaran]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

Lol this is ridiculous...why are people not allowed to set the parameters of their own relationships without being called names? Think about this, there may be people who read this thread but decided to say nothing because they agree with password sharing but did not feel like dealing with personal attacks. Of course, everyone is entitled to voice their opinion, it just seems highly ironic that on THIS website some people are so eager to put others in a good or bad box simply because they think differently. What is it to me if someone else wants to share passwords or wear mismatched socks or eat cheerios for dinner? It means nothing to me. I may giggle at the things you do but I'm not going to try to tear you down for them. That's such BS. IMO it's mostly about showcasing and trying to tell the world something about how much cooler we are than other people.

My question is this: is everyone in this thread here to have an honest dialogue or is this the thread where we're supposed to bag on people who think differently? Because that in itself is a really 'creepy' form of control that I try to stay away from.

I don't see much in the way of personal attacks on this thread. It does seem that the general consensus on the thread is that most people wouldn't want a personal relationship that included sharing of personal passwords and, by definition, sharing of a partner's personal communication with others.


I, for one, wouldn't be involved in that type of relationship. That said, my own parameters for relationships tend to be very different to most on this site - it's just the way it goes. My "right" isn't necessarily "right" for others - but, equally, their "right" is usually very wrong for me. We'll all adults and, if people want relationships with this type of dynamic of sharing passwords and the like, so be it.


It's not about "conservatives" or such like. It's simply the expression of personal opinions. Unless I'm very much mistaken, that tends to be a valuable component of this site.