I don't think she's out there

[T-lee]

I totally understand how you feel. There are times I feel just that way. Yet there ae times when I can look back on what has not worked for me and see just whatI have learned along the way. If its something I learned that I dont want are something I believe I want more, but no matter what I have learned and grown from it all. Still believe deep down that there is someone for each of us out there. When ever the time is right it happens for us, just know there is a reason it has not happened yet. Till then enjoy what life is to bring us along the way.

[4everlonelyfemme]

I know for a fact I'll be single for the rest of my life. I've met pretty much every butch here in Estonia, and lots of men as well.

Nobody wants me.

Everyone wants to chat to the pretty girls. I'm either one of the guys or invisible.

And that's with as much effort and money put into my appearance as I possibly can

So... Just taking it one day at a time, coping, trying to find comfort in alcohol and bars over the weekend, and sometimes into the week...At 21 the thought of a lifetime of this....I was born to suffer.

Pure hell.

Whenever I see couples I feel so much pain I want to strangle someone, seriously. And I'm about as cuddly and nonviolent as you can find. But we all have a breaking point.

[NorCalStud]

You are 21. You are a baby. Just say no to all that thinkin. Stop. Okay? It is difficult sometimes to be on this site and see all the sexual energy flyin around. Your time will come. Here or there or somewhere. I wanna see that name change like 4everfemme..leave the lonely out. Dont call in the lonliness. Island Scout, in the other thread, is right. Attitude. Im glad you said you are lonely...you are honest and lettin people know. Now we know. Your whole life is ahead of you. Dance, sister.

[Heavenleahangel]

Originally Posted by 4everlonelyfemme

I know for a fact I'll be single for the rest of my life. I've met pretty much every butch here in Estonia, and lots of men as well.

Nobody wants me.

Everyone wants to chat to the pretty girls. I'm either one of the guys or invisible.

And that's with as much effort and money put into my appearance as I possibly can

So... Just taking it one day at a time, coping, trying to find comfort in alcohol and bars over the weekend, and sometimes into the week...At 21 the thought of a lifetime of this....I was born to suffer.

Pure hell.

Whenever I see couples I feel so much pain I want to strangle someone, seriously. And I'm about as cuddly and nonviolent as you can find. But we all have a breaking point.

Hi; I see you think that things are so bleak and hopeless, but I am going to put my 2cents out there and you can take my advice for whatever it is worth. (This coming from a much older femme that has socks older than you.)
Have you ever stopped to think that the negative energy you exert dwelling on how "unpretty" you are, how you were born to suffer, etc is what is keeping you from finding someone? Whether you want to believe it or not, you are sooo young. There is a whole world of possibilities out here just waiting for you, but if you keep dwelling on what you perceive as negative and unwanted issues, the positive can never happen.
With this being said, is it possible for you to go to some counseling to help with all this negativity in your life? I bet you would feel so much better about yourself and then the positive energies can flow and you will be able to find and accept love. I hink there are many of us both butch and femme that would love to go back to 21 and get to live life all over again! Life is way too short to be so down on yourself!

[agape]

Originally Posted by Heavenleahangel

Hi; I see you think that things are so bleak and hopeless, but I am going to put my 2cents out there and you can take my advice for whatever it is worth. (This coming from a much older femme that has socks older than you.)
Have you ever stopped to think that the negative energy you exert dwelling on how "unpretty" you are, how you were born to suffer, etc is what is keeping you from finding someone? Whether you want to believe it or not, you are sooo young. There is a whole world of possibilities out here just waiting for you, but if you keep dwelling on what you perceive as negative and unwanted issues, the positive can never happen.
With this being said, is it possible for you to go to some counseling to help with all this negativity in your life? I bet you would feel so much better about yourself and then the positive energies can flow and you will be able to find and accept love. I hink there are many of us both butch and femme that would love to go back to 21 and get to live life all over again! Life is way too short to be so down on yourself!

You could be right but on the other hand, that would assume that the negativity came before ppls reactions and that we really don't know...

[Koffeelvr]

I am pretty much a newbie to BFP. I started reading a couple of threads over the weekend. I found this one interesting because I could relate to a late of the comments shared at various points in my life.

I just wanted to thank you all for taking the time to share your thoughts.

Have a great day!

[Asari]

I know that it's hard not to give way to despair but everyone is able to decide against it - I did.

To be honest I never had a relationship or even a real date and still doubt that I will find a Butch who shares my view of life and is interested in me, but fortunately I'm comfortable with staying a single maiden. I have so much love to give and if thre is no one interested in a relationship I'll explore other ways to share this love.

[Gráinne]

Originally Posted by 4everlonelyfemme

I know for a fact I'll be single for the rest of my life. I've met pretty much every butch here in Estonia, and lots of men as well.

Nobody wants me.

Everyone wants to chat to the pretty girls. I'm either one of the guys or invisible.

And that's with as much effort and money put into my appearance as I possibly can

So... Just taking it one day at a time, coping, trying to find comfort in alcohol and bars over the weekend, and sometimes into the week...At 21 the thought of a lifetime of this....I was born to suffer.

Pure hell.

Whenever I see couples I feel so much pain I want to strangle someone, seriously. And I'm about as cuddly and nonviolent as you can find. But we all have a breaking point.

Dr. Seuss said, "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"

To be honest, negativity and hopelessness leak out and people pick up on that. What attracts folks is a positive attitude regardless of the fact you're single, and a realization that you are amazing on your own . I get lonliness-everyone feels that, even in a huge party. You can't always choose whether you're coupled or single, but you get to choose your attitude and your actions.

If you think it's suffering to be single, try being in the wrong relationship-one you get into when you feel that's as good as you can get.

I already know something that sets you apart from 99% of the rest of the femmes here-you probably speak Russian and a host of other languages (besides learning English), and you're surrounded by Estonia! When you focus on what makes you unique and on your good qualities, you will become attractive.

That genius Dr. Seuss also said "No one is youer than you".

Words of wisdom from the above two posters. I wholeheartedly agree. There is nothing more attractive than someone who's happy with their lives. When you're happy with your life, then, only then are you ready to share it I believe.

Being a couple doesn't solve anything.

Learn to love your life and yourself. I am fully aware of how easy it is to say and how hard it can be in practice.

[agape]

Originally Posted by Daktari

Words of wisdom from the above two posters. I wholeheartedly agree. There is nothing more attractive than someone who's happy with their lives. When you're happy with your life, then, only then are you ready to share it I believe.

Being a couple doesn't solve anything.

Learn to love your life and yourself. I am fully aware of how easy it is to say and how hard it can be in practice.

Hmm... I both agree and disagree... I personally find overly happy and satisfied ppl not so attractive. I prefer realists, who often are read as pessimists in today's world... Nowdays everyone seems to be expected to be 99% happy and successfull (whatever that means)... At least that is my experience.

Being a couple maybe doesn't solve anything, just like food doesn't solve anything, but we do need food to survive. We also need love and human contact. I think it's perfectly normal to painfully miss love and human contact and express that pain. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Of course one should love one self but it's really hard to keep that going if the world "slapps" you too much for a too long time -if you know what I mean. Sometimes it just gets too much... And some things you just can't give yourself on your own. It's just not the same hugging yourself and having another person hugging you...

But I do agree that a positive attitude can help bring good things into your life. I just find it unnecessary telling someone suffering that since I'm pretty sure almost everyone is already painfully aware of that fact... (I could be wrong though...)