How romantic are you?

[VintageFemme]

Originally Posted by Daktari

May I ask what is it about displaying good manners (ie. holding doors open) that makes them a romantic gesture instead of normal behaviour with everyone?

I couldn't agree with you more. Case in point:

Years ago a coworker asked me if I was gay. Have you seen me? I am so femme and rarely if ever, does anyone think I'm gay much less ask me and so in shock I looked at her and asked her, "why would you ask me that?" and she proceeded to tell me that straight women don't hold the door open for other women nor do they light each others cigarettes. I was appalled at her comment. I don't do those things because I am gay, I do them because it is the right thing to do. Our society has become so self involved that we have forgotten common courtesies and manners.

And re: Chivalry? Again, I couldn't agree more. Opening car doors and walking on the outside of a sidewalk is not chivalrous however... again, case in point:

Years ago when I was in a relationship, my son, my partner and myself were sightseeing. I was completely oblivious to my surroundings and taking pictures not paying any attention to who was around me or what was going on. My partner and son both came and removed me from the situation quietly and calmly without my even being aware of what was going on and afterthefact I discovered I was in the middle of a very questionable environment and my safety could have been very much in question. That... was chivalry.

[wahya]

In a sentence my ex gf used to call me Pe Pe le pew, Unfortunetly she was penelope. lol

Originally Posted by wahya

In a sentence my ex gf used to call me Pe Pe le pew, Unfortunetly she was penelope. lol

Was that because you smelled when stressed and called her 'my petit cabbage'?

[wahya]

Originally Posted by Daktari

Was that because you smelled when stressed and called her 'my petit cabbage'?

Yeah..I think that had to be it! Wow that's what it had to be. Well I better cancel my therapy appt now. lol

[Talon]

Honestly, I don't think that I am a romantic...hopeless or otherwise...at least not in the traditional sense of the word.

[Enchantress]

I'm the kind of girl who believes in fairy tales. Wants the prince and longs for chivalry.

I believe in lovers, soulful communication, breathtaking moments, and deep abiding intimacy. I want to be wooed, tantalized and taken.

But, in return, I will bake you cookies just because, write you letters filled with sweet nothings and salacious bits. Cook your favorite meal and serve it with a kiss and a caress and sweep you off your feet as well. I believe in equal opportunity romantic gestures. Because, isn't that the beauty of love?

So am I romantic? Quite.

[Heavenleahangel]

I would love to give new meaning to the words "Romancing the Stone!" Ohhhhh the possibilities!!!! ***I have been known for bad jokes***

[thedivahrrrself]

I think I am too much of a klutz to pull off romance. LOL And I'm a terrible liar so keeping surprises to myself is very hard for me.

I do make very sweet mix tapes And I do special things for the person I love. I just don't pull them off in a way that screams "romance". It's more likely to be like, "Look! I made you heart-shaped cookies," and then I drop the tray all over the floor.

I don't find the traditional "romantic" things to be all that romantic. I wish I had seen the flowers in South America, though, before I made a blanket statement about hating flowers. As it turns out, I just hate roses...and carnations.

I like to be romanced a little. Too much can be kind of awkward I think. But it's nice to know the person you love appreciates you and cares about the things you enjoy. There are few things more romantic than watching stars together, in my opinion, so U planning a surprise trip to the planetarium was a super sweet gesture. Sending his friends back to buy and then secretly transport a drum I fell in love with at a craft fair probably tops my list of the most romantic things anyone's ever done for me. I was completely surprised. Spontaneity definitely adds to the romance.

[SuddenlyWestFemme]

My ex was neither romantic nor polite (but I was in love anyway). I stopped thinking about romance as important. And then the first date I went on after we broke up (way before I was ready to date) was with a very polite and romantic Butch and it just felt so wonderful. For me, it is like a light switch... turn it on and I light up. When off, I don't remember how great the light feels.

And in regards to manners versus romance. Personally, I consider holding the car door open as romantic and not just polite. Where I grew up, this was not done in general--so it is not a 'back in my day' kind of thing. Car door opening was ONLY done in dating situations (well... or if someone's hands were full and they couldn't do it themselves). Maybe it is different geographically? So I associate it with the excitement of dating and do consider it romantic. Now, not letting the house door slam on, or holding open the building door is just being polite (in my book).

I do agree with Dakarti in general. Being polite is not romantic--it is just the right thing to do. But polite can mean different things culturally... so I classify things as romantic that others may think are just basic manners and visa versa.

I am a spontaneous romantic (in the way Hollylane mentioned earlier-- stealing a kiss, being the first to link arms, making last minute decisions to take a walk in the moonlight, and other little spontaneous things).

Question on romance (that was coincidentally bought up at work yesterday): If someone brings flowers to every girl they've ever dated on the 2nd date... well... is it romance or dating routine? If someone gives every person they've ever dated a handmade picture album, filled with pictures of the two of you, for Christmas... is it romantic or dating routine? Any thoughts on the difference between romance and dating routines...or if they are the same thing. Does it even matter?

[Chancie]

Originally Posted by SuddenlyWestFemme

<snip>

If someone brings flowers to every girl they've ever dated on the 2nd date... well... is it romance or dating routine? If someone gives every person they've ever dated a handmade picture album, filled with pictures of the two of you, for Christmas... is it romantic or dating routine? Any thoughts on the difference between romance and dating routines...or if they are the same thing. Does it even matter?

This is a great question!

Years ago, before I met my beautiful handsome Pete,

I dated a bit more than I expected.

One particular butch was courting me, and quite deftly.

She charmed my pants off, but

It became clear that her gallant ways were well practiced.

She was a lovely person, truly, but

I prefer Pete's slightly awkward attempts to impress me.

[~baby~doll~]

I live for romance. My favorite is the twenty-four hour love affair when I find hints of love and detailed plans for the evening. It starts with crimson lip prints on the mirrors. Then I find a menu of desired dishes for dinner with wines. I get red 's delivered.
The best is a hand written description of our love making. I am so romanced by this point I can hardly fulfill my plans for the day.

[wahya]

I am a 100% romantic but not that great of romantic novelist. But when I do something romantic it has to be something special & something I have put a lot of thought into.That's where listening to your partner comes in because they think the little things slip by me but that's where it starts, knowing what they are about and what they like.

[Gráinne]

Not in any traditional form, flowers/chocolates and all (although I do like chocolate). What's romantic to me is my date and I sharing something of who we are, something about wherever we are, in intimacy and vulnerability. Sometimes that translates later into physical cuddling and holding. That to me is perfect.

[Gemme]

Nope. Used to be. The whole flowery drawn out novel kind of way too. But not any more.

My poor guy.

[C0LLETTE]

Originally Posted by ~baby~doll~

I live for romance. My favorite is the twenty-four hour love affair when I find hints of love and detailed plans for the evening. It starts with crimson lip prints on the mirrors. Then I find a menu of desired dishes for dinner with wines. I get red 's delivered.
The best is a hand written description of our love making. I am so romanced by this point I can hardly fulfill my plans for the day.

Not to be too pragmatic but how do you get lipstick off a mirror?

[JAGG]

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

Not to be too pragmatic but how do you get lipstick off a mirror?

Comes right off with window cleaner.

[DMW]

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

Not to be too pragmatic but how do you get lipstick off a mirror?

Mmmmmmm...well, let me count the ways...kiss it...lick it...suck it...or
rub it off; action dependent upon certain variables.
Number one...whose lips left it there?

[~ocean]

~ passion brings out the romance in me, wich stimulates my seduction side ~

[ForestGirl88]

I tend to be overly practical. I clean the house, fix the faucet, make you a five course dinner and rock your body with things like drinking wine off your skin and letting you completely sit this one out (so to speak).

But......I have a very hard time talking about my feelings or being gushy and vulnerable. I should be butch, but I'm definately femme lol!

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by ForestGirl88

I tend to be overly practical. I clean the house, fix the faucet, make you a five course dinner and rock your body with things like drinking wine off your skin and letting you completely sit this one out (so to speak).

But......I have a very hard time talking about my feelings or being gushy and vulnerable. I should be butch, but I'm definately femme lol!

Absolutely romantic in the same way. Not fond of grand gestures, I find them embarrassing in a bad way and unpleasant. I throw up from stage fright so attracting a ton of attention is hideous to me.

I think it's romantic when someone makes me a cup of tea, fixes my bike, buys me a book I really want, takes me to see a lecture I've wanted to see, teases me /takes the piss, calls me semi-insulting terms of endearment, picks out shoes they'd like me to wear, ogles my boobs in the restaurant or park or supermarket, surprises me with a road trip to some place science geeky. Or surprises me with something very dark and pervy.

Flowers to me just mean "I've done something shitty and I'm trying to butter you up" and they just no longer have a pleasant link for me.

Like people doing things for me because they *know* me and know what I'd like. Not because "butches do _____ for femmes." Because it means they aren't paying attention to who I am, just my gender, and frankly it feels like I'm a number in a well trodden formula and I could be any femme, cause they did it for them too.

I prefer to tailor my romantic moves to the individual. My exwife loved me baking her favourite bread, picking her flowers and reading her to sleep. Another ex liked me wearing clothes she'd pick out for me, washing her hair and making roast lamb.

I'd prefer to do what others like. But I'm not good with words or being emotionally expressive. I'm good with humour and teasing endearments.