Able-Bodied Privilege

Gemme · 04-05-2010, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Your employer can write you up, but you do not have to sign anything as an employee. It is a he said/she said kind of thing. It really boils down to the law. If they want you out, they will find a way. Now that Obama is in the WH, we will all see if this law is finally ended for good.

Andrew, each state handles these things differently. I've been involved in firing someone that really, really had to go (it was poor workmanship, not abilities, and us losing revenue because of her that was the deciding factor) and it took us months before we could get the proper paperwork filled out and everything documented in accordance with the law and, yes, she had to sign every write up along the way. The laws do vary widely across the U.S.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Probably some kind of loophole having to do with when the original structure was built. Also, some goofy way of getting around the HC codes with what is existing. And you are so right with the bottom line! Most likely, people that need these accommodations just go to other hotels that suit their needs better and never make any reports/complaints. Also, my guess is that there are no differently baled employees or maybe ones that do not have mobility issues like some folks do.. the degree factor. No doubt, renovations for existing structure to make them accessible is expensive, but with some direct advertising to disability organizations, a pretty lucrative population can begin using that hotel! Every differently baled person I know always checks this out prior to travel. When I ask my friend with CP to do something with me, I find out about access of the place where an event etc. is being held before asking her. Now, I know a lot of places that she can either go to or not. My disabilities are not the same as hers, so I don't assume she can go to a certain location. Its all about awareness and sensitivity.

The hotel has been here for almost 50 years, so I am sure there is some sort of grandfather clause for certain things. I am still very frustrated with them because they see that it can be an issue for some folks, but they just aren't connecting the dots yet and doing something about it.

Andrew, Jr. · 04-06-2010, 10:43 AM

The invisible disabilities are the ones that society, and the general public tend to ignore. If you can't see it, then it isn't there kind of attitude. Growing up in the 60's it was the same. If you can't see it, it is not there. Kids were just passed along to get them out of their classroom. That is what happened to me. It didn't matter if I understood the work or not. It didn't matter if I did the homework or not. Nothing mattered. I didn't matter. I was taking up space. That is how I see it. And that is how it felt to me to grow up with learning disabilities, and neurological disorders. I was given a label, and judged. Nobody took the time to find out what the problem was. Not a soul. What is inside my mind rarely comes to light. Now, I have to say the computer is a gift. It is my only link to most people. That is why when my father felt safe abusing me, he thought that his evil deeds would be sealed forever. No. I exposed him for what he was. The damage is done, and the trauma is overwith. Life goes on.

AtLast · 04-09-2010, 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

The invisible disabilities are the ones that society, and the general public tend to ignore. If you can't see it, then it isn't there kind of attitude. Growing up in the 60's it was the same. If you can't see it, it is not there. Kids were just passed along to get them out of their classroom. That is what happened to me. It didn't matter if I understood the work or not. It didn't matter if I did the homework or not. Nothing mattered. I didn't matter. I was taking up space. That is how I see it. And that is how it felt to me to grow up with learning disabilities, and neurological disorders. I was given a label, and judged. Nobody took the time to find out what the problem was. Not a soul. What is inside my mind rarely comes to light. Now, I have to say the computer is a gift. It is my only link to most people. That is why when my father felt safe abusing me, he thought that his evil deeds would be sealed forever. No. I exposed him for what he was. The damage is done, and the trauma is overwith. Life goes on.

Andrew, thank you. Invisible disabilities are so misunderstood and marginalized. Your description of how the school system failed you is the story of so many people that go on for years not knowing what the hell is wrong. And getting any help. Anything neurological and in the learning disabilities areas remains cruelly neglected.

What you bring up about people not recognizing how someone could be differently-abled just because there is no outward physical indication happens continually and causes a lot of pain.

When I saw the thread here about neuro-diversity, I was so jazzed because I saw people empowering themselves by saying we are here, and if you want to understand us.... here it is...

AtLast · 04-09-2010, 01:15 PM

If anyone has any insights into dating and dealing with having a disability.. please post!

I re-entered dating not only as an older butch, but with my arthritis now resulting in different limitations concerning chronic pain. I am finding this too really be a factor in my selection of who I ask out. The major shift is about once being a very physically active woman and enjoying sharing this with a partner/person I am seeing and now just not being able to. And my disabilities are not always visible. Its like I present as this athletic-bodied person and know I have to be honest about how and what I really can do. Often, the person I am wanting to date (or am dating) can't deal with this discrepancy... or, just can't belive it.

It can be very telling when I initially meet someone in a fairly pain-free state without a lot of stiffness or the fevers, fatigue, puffiness, flu-like symptoms of RA and when the osterarthritis is being nice to me- then see them while not moving so well! It is obvious that the possible attraction lights are in fade mode.

I know there is still some self-denial going on, yet listening to my pain/body is essential for my well-being. But, I find myself struggling with this along with all the other dating stuff that comes up. JeepSakes, as if it isn't difficult as it is!

Andrew, Jr. · 04-09-2010, 04:17 PM

AtLastHome,

Be honest, and open with your date. Tell her that you are stiff, and hurting, and not up for a game of tennis or golf. How about going to a movie instead? Communication is key. Be positive. Take your meds. Maintain a healthy diet. Stress and worries add years onto your life and how you feel. Don't make mountains out of ant hills. You know what I mean?

I just struggle with oral communication. Words tangle me up. Sometimes it is best to just hold hands and snuggle or to go out on a picnic overlooking water or a stream.

I wish you luck!

04-06-2010, 10:43 AM	#2
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	Just sharing some of my being The invisible disabilities are the ones that society, and the general public tend to ignore. If you can't see it, then it isn't there kind of attitude. Growing up in the 60's it was the same. If you can't see it, it is not there. Kids were just passed along to get them out of their classroom. That is what happened to me. It didn't matter if I understood the work or not. It didn't matter if I did the homework or not. Nothing mattered. I didn't matter. I was taking up space. That is how I see it. And that is how it felt to me to grow up with learning disabilities, and neurological disorders. I was given a label, and judged. Nobody took the time to find out what the problem was. Not a soul. What is inside my mind rarely comes to light. Now, I have to say the computer is a gift. It is my only link to most people. That is why when my father felt safe abusing me, he thought that his evil deeds would be sealed forever. No. I exposed him for what he was. The damage is done, and the trauma is overwith. Life goes on.

04-09-2010, 01:15 PM	#4
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	If anyone has any insights into dating and dealing with having a disability.. please post! I re-entered dating not only as an older butch, but with my arthritis now resulting in different limitations concerning chronic pain. I am finding this too really be a factor in my selection of who I ask out. The major shift is about once being a very physically active woman and enjoying sharing this with a partner/person I am seeing and now just not being able to. And my disabilities are not always visible. Its like I present as this athletic-bodied person and know I have to be honest about how and what I really can do. Often, the person I am wanting to date (or am dating) can't deal with this discrepancy... or, just can't belive it. It can be very telling when I initially meet someone in a fairly pain-free state without a lot of stiffness or the fevers, fatigue, puffiness, flu-like symptoms of RA and when the osterarthritis is being nice to me- then see them while not moving so well! It is obvious that the possible attraction lights are in fade mode. I know there is still some self-denial going on, yet listening to my pain/body is essential for my well-being. But, I find myself struggling with this along with all the other dating stuff that comes up. JeepSakes, as if it isn't difficult as it is!

04-09-2010, 04:17 PM	#5
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	AtLastHome, Be honest, and open with your date. Tell her that you are stiff, and hurting, and not up for a game of tennis or golf. How about going to a movie instead? Communication is key. Be positive. Take your meds. Maintain a healthy diet. Stress and worries add years onto your life and how you feel. Don't make mountains out of ant hills. You know what I mean? I just struggle with oral communication. Words tangle me up. Sometimes it is best to just hold hands and snuggle or to go out on a picnic overlooking water or a stream. I wish you luck!