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#1 | |
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Infamous Member
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This is one of those news stories that makes me go hmmm. It also makes me have to separate out emotion from logic. I understand when his lawyer says.... "Under the law, he is entitled to some relief from the higher income producing spouse, so that the marital standard of living can be maintained." I also understand why the ex-wife would say..... "The law makes no sense. He victimized a little girl all these years and I have to pay him for that behavior," she said. My dilemma is alimony is about a financial obligation to a former spouse as part of a binding marriage contract which entitles them to compensation to maintain their style of living during the marriage. It is not about rewarding him for sexually abusing a child well into adulthood. I am also concerned when there is talking about "conditions" whereby this marital obligation can be removed. Remember the history of how alimony began....."Divorce law in the U.S. was based on English Common Law, which developed at a time when a female gave up her personal property rights on marriage. Upon separation from marriage, the husband retained the right to the wife's property, but, in exchange, had an ongoing responsibility to support the wife after dissolution of the marriage. British law was amended by legislation including Married Women's Property Act 1870 and Married Women's Property Act 1882 which reformed females' property rights relating to marriage, by, for example, permitting divorced females to regain the property they owned before marriage." Alimony was a hard fought right. As societal circumstances changed so did the alimony laws. Amounts and duration limits have been enacted which have been sometimes a help and sometimes a hindrance for women. Most states still have provisions to prevent an ex-spouse from becoming dependent on state assistance. Alimony is taxable for the recipient, a tax deduction for the payer. Who makes more money? Who is the likely recipient? I am reluctant to say criminal activity should factor into alimony. Most recipients of alimony are still women. This gets to be tricky shit. In this particular case, at 1:30 in the morning, I am thinking this woman is not potentially going to be paying alimony to her ex-husband victimizing her child for 16 years. She would be paying alimony as it is prescribed by law. It is unfortunate she chose to marry a douchebag. He pleaded guilty. He served his time under the law. Society says he paid his debt. On the other hand, her daughter, who is now an adult, should have legal recourse to file a civil suit against her stepfather who pleaded guilty to raping her.
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#2 | |
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The gender-based inequalities are blatant, because yes, you are quite right—Most recipients of alimony/child support are women, which nicely supports the tax break (for mostly males) AND tax payable (mostly women—and mostly women in precarious tax brackets to begin with). This particular story has the smack of a double handed bitch-slap. The reward that he received for sexually abusing a child was exactly in society claiming that his ‘debt was paid’. Did he have to cough up a few cows or a flock of sheep or an acre of land? In what way has his debt been paid? That’s what makes me nuts. As for her daughter’s recourse: Shitballs. Other than the recourse of dealing with the residual and long lasting effects of sexual abuse in childhood, and into her adult life, I suppose she could set forth the arduous task of squeezing blood from a stone. I’m sure Mr. Ed is in the perfect position to set immediately forth amassing a fortune, of which his daughter can see the ‘justice’ of via a civil suit against said Asswipe. THIS is also what makes me nuts. Abuse, including Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, (Woman Abuse) are all criminal activities. Assault, n’est- ce pas? At that point, all bets should be off. As a Perpetrator you (should) immediately loose all rights to any assets associated with the victim/spouse/non-offending parent, all rights to the matrimonial home, all rights to any possible support of any kind, of any nature. Let’s just go so far as to say “All rights rescinded on account of your undeniable, sociopathic, sadistic sad shit”. And since I’m now in the land of Unicorns fluffing out the skittles of restorative justice, it wasn’t the State nor the Crown that got raped for 16 years of her of her quarter century of age. Three quarters of her life experience spent being abused. It was a nine year old girl . And filed under things that make me go “Huh?” is : Most states still have provisions to prevent an ex-spouse from becoming dependent on state assistance. It should be the DUTY of the State to see her transition from abuse (victimization) to supported survivor, without forcing her into contact for the 200.00 bucks a month the court would order he pay. Child support comes first. (Is that stone bleeding yet??? This should not be the community’s answer to violence against women and children. “If you break, you bought it—we ain’t takin’ care of anything” mentality. If you want to send him the bill via an asshole tax for the rest of his life, great. Crime and Punishment, right?
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"If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us walk together." Lila Watson You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it.
You say you love sun, but you seek shade when its shining. You say you love wind, but when its comes you close your window. So that's why I'm scared, when you say you love me. -- Bob Marley |
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#3 |
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I think what Kobi was getting at is that provisions for nullifying alimony could be used against women, and by his "debt being paid," she's not referring to actual payment but to him having served his sentence for the crime.
Though IMO, rape/abuse absolutely should be grounds for nullifying alimony, even if it were, say, a female rapist/abuser and a male victim/payer--the crime is heinous no matter the genders of the perpetrator, victim, or payer, and no one should have to pay alimony to someone who abused them or their children. |
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#4 |
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http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/14/op...oice.html?_r=2
"Breast cancer alone kills some 458,000 people each year, according to the World Health Organization, mainly in low- and middle-income countries. It has got to be a priority to ensure that more women can access gene testing and lifesaving preventive treatment, whatever their means and background, wherever they live. The cost of testing for BRCA1 and BRCA2, at more than $3,000 in the United States, remains an obstacle for many women."
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"If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us walk together." Lila Watson You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it.
You say you love sun, but you seek shade when its shining. You say you love wind, but when its comes you close your window. So that's why I'm scared, when you say you love me. -- Bob Marley |
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#5 |
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Infamous Member
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#6 |
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Member
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"If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us walk together." Lila Watson You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it.
You say you love sun, but you seek shade when its shining. You say you love wind, but when its comes you close your window. So that's why I'm scared, when you say you love me. -- Bob Marley |
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#7 |
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Member
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![]() Yes, that’s right. Thank you, Mr. Paul Kramer. It’s not enough to have a poor body image and an eating disorder when you’re a teenager... Now they want to get one before you’re out of pigtails. Notice the image is not of an active healthy strong girl, rather, of a chubby girl looking at her thinner reflection, and a pretty dress.
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"If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us walk together." Lila Watson You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it.
You say you love sun, but you seek shade when its shining. You say you love wind, but when its comes you close your window. So that's why I'm scared, when you say you love me. -- Bob Marley |
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#8 |
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Timed Out
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This picture illustrates the point perfectly raised in the interview on CBC, how man have a sense of entitlement to a woman's body!
When I first saw the picture I thought it was romantic because I thought it was her husband coming home from the war, when I read it was a stranger it just makes me shake my head!! There is still so much work to be done, and I feel it needs to be done not just by women but also by men educating other men!! |
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#9 |
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Infamous Member
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![]() At the risk of sounding like I left my brain on the Vineyard, wtf is this supposed to mean?
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