Jokes and things that made you laugh.

Janstevie · 05-29-2013, 02:26 PM

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with
an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your
ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over
there.....", as he pointed out a distant location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, " Mister, I have the
authority of the Federal Government with me!"
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge
and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go
wherever I wish.... on ANY land!! No questions asked or
answers given!! Have I made myself clear...... do you understand???"

The rancher nodded politely, apoligised and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up
and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the
rancher's enormous Santa Gertrudis bull......

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it
seemed likely that the officer would be gruesomely gored before he reached safety. The man was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at
the top of his lungs.....

"Your badge........ show him your BADGE!!!

.

Kätzchen · 05-13-2017, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janstevie

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over
there.....", as he pointed out a distant location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, " Mister, I have the
authority of the Federal Government with me!"

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge
and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go
wherever I wish.... on ANY land!! No questions asked or
answers given!! Have I made myself clear...... do you understand???"

The rancher nodded politely, apoligised and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's enormous Santa Gertrudis bull......

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that the officer would be gruesomely gored before he reached safety. The man was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

"Your badge........ show him your BADGE!!!

.

And, this joke too. Omg, so SOOO funny, LOL !!
This joke made me laugh so much that I shared it with friends, years ago and just like me, they laughed until their sides hurt, lol.

---K---

Kätzchen · 04-07-2024, 10:09 AM

“If you were a vegetable you’d be a Cutecumber,” said a parent to their child.

(I heard this last week while in line at the grocery store).

Kätzchen · 05-04-2025, 10:02 PM

I’ve been watching SNL since I was 16. And last night it was side splitting laughter, as they parsed jokingly this latest round of (…). Hope this lifts you up because it was just simply hilarious to watch their skits enjoy an evening of laughter.

04-07-2024, 10:09 AM	#3
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,060 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,517 Times in 10,643 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	“If you were a vegetable you’d be a Cutecumber,” said a parent to their child. (I heard this last week while in line at the grocery store). __________________ “If you get close to what you love, who you are is revealed to you,” — Ethan Hawke.

05-04-2025, 10:02 PM	#4
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,060 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,517 Times in 10,643 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Last night’s episode of ‘news’ from SNL (lmao) I’ve been watching SNL since I was 16. And last night it was side splitting laughter, as they parsed jokingly this latest round of (…). Hope this lifts you up because it was just simply hilarious to watch their skits enjoy an evening of laughter.

05-29-2013, 02:26 PM	#1
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out a distant location. The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... on ANY land!! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear...... do you understand???" The rancher nodded politely, apoligised and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's enormous Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that the officer would be gruesomely gored before he reached safety. The man was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs..... "Your badge........ show him your BADGE!!! .