Need parents opinion

Greyson · 06-03-2013, 09:36 PM

I am not a teacher nor a biological parent. I do have two baby sisters that were born in my teen years that I have literally been a surrogate parent to them for most of my life. Also, I have an almost 11 year old stepdaughter.

My first reaction to your question is that the teacher out with a few of his female high school students may be inappropriate but a stupid choice for sure. In todays world if I were a teacher and wanted to take my favorite students to dinner, I would most certainly have another adult with me. (Most likely I would take an adult woman if all my students were young women.)

I do not think you are over reacting. I tend to agree with Jagg and talk to the teacher directly first. If he is shady he will then know someone is onto him. If not, "No harm, no foul." In the least I think he would rethink socializing with students that is not an official function of the school.

princessbelle · 06-04-2013, 08:03 PM

I don't know really, but since you asked for opinions...

One reminiscent situation comes to mind. When i was in high school, from freshman to senior, there were a group of us girls that had dinner every single Friday night with two Male teachers. The reason was because we were cheerleaders and it was the football coaches, just before the football games. The entire football team went but the cheerleaders sat with the coaches (teachers) at their table. The "guys" all had the back room away from us. In appearance, that may not have looked so great.

But, it was tradition. It was our "normal". And there were never any problems.

Maybe it's just what they do after choir practice?

But, i always say ...trust your gut. If you felt it was icky, check it out a little deeper.

Good luck and ty for seeing this and questioning it. Even if it is innocent, it is good that we all watch for things that may not be "just right".

peachy · 06-05-2013, 03:34 PM

I'm a mum and mums overreact about our babies that's our job. Good for you. Doing your job right :-) Hopefully there is nothing untoward going on here but until you have rolled up your mum sleeves and found out for yourself you will be a fretful, flapping, fussing mum which is no good.

Whatever the situation here, age of the girls, school policy etc I am with Princessbelle that when it comes to your child you can trust your gut feeling. Whatever anyone says, whatever is the norm...if you think something is amiss - it probably is. Your intuition about your child is a finely tuned thing. What happens at your child's school activities is your business. I don't think it matters too much what you say or to whom you say it, if all you are doing is being honest, you won't go wrong. I hope you have your concerns put to rest.

pxo

gaea · 06-10-2013, 07:49 PM

If the girls have all graduated what is the issue ? they are all adults yes?

My youngest developed a relationship with her third grade teacher Mr Rykk, they had a bond when she was in fifth grade I had given permission for Rykk and his partner to take my daughter to Georgia for the summer (they had become family friends by then) We lived in a smaller educational system where families interacted with the teachers on a regular basis where the teachers became part of our families ...I liked that setting my granddaughter is in that school district now.

It is not horrific for students to bond with their teachers...

maybe I'm mistaken here however I think your overreacting a tad bit.

I raised 4 3 natural and 1 step daughter..but all of their teachers had my number...my kids didn't get away with shit lol

06-03-2013, 09:36 PM	#1
Greyson Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transmasculine/Non-Binary Preferred Pronoun?: Hy (Pronounced He) Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 6,589 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,132 Thanked 8,146 Times in 2,005 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I am not a teacher nor a biological parent. I do have two baby sisters that were born in my teen years that I have literally been a surrogate parent to them for most of my life. Also, I have an almost 11 year old stepdaughter. My first reaction to your question is that the teacher out with a few of his female high school students may be inappropriate but a stupid choice for sure. In todays world if I were a teacher and wanted to take my favorite students to dinner, I would most certainly have another adult with me. (Most likely I would take an adult woman if all my students were young women.) I do not think you are over reacting. I tend to agree with Jagg and talk to the teacher directly first. If he is shady he will then know someone is onto him. If not, "No harm, no foul." In the least I think he would rethink socializing with students that is not an official function of the school. __________________ Sometimes you don't realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness. - Susan Gale Last edited by Greyson; 06-03-2013 at 09:38 PM.

06-05-2013, 03:34 PM	#3
peachy Member How Do You Identify?: Me Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Here Posts: 109 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 492 Thanked 395 Times in 90 Posts Rep Power: 5513869	I'm a mum and mums overreact about our babies that's our job. Good for you. Doing your job right :-) Hopefully there is nothing untoward going on here but until you have rolled up your mum sleeves and found out for yourself you will be a fretful, flapping, fussing mum which is no good. Whatever the situation here, age of the girls, school policy etc I am with Princessbelle that when it comes to your child you can trust your gut feeling. Whatever anyone says, whatever is the norm...if you think something is amiss - it probably is. Your intuition about your child is a finely tuned thing. What happens at your child's school activities is your business. I don't think it matters too much what you say or to whom you say it, if all you are doing is being honest, you won't go wrong. I hope you have your concerns put to rest. pxo __________________ life's a peach Caution: contains hard stone

06-10-2013, 07:49 PM	#4
gaea Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: west coast Posts: 3,910 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,630 Thanked 14,363 Times in 3,381 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	If the girls have all graduated what is the issue ? they are all adults yes? My youngest developed a relationship with her third grade teacher Mr Rykk, they had a bond when she was in fifth grade I had given permission for Rykk and his partner to take my daughter to Georgia for the summer (they had become family friends by then) We lived in a smaller educational system where families interacted with the teachers on a regular basis where the teachers became part of our families ...I liked that setting my granddaughter is in that school district now. It is not horrific for students to bond with their teachers... maybe I'm mistaken here however I think your overreacting a tad bit. I raised 4 3 natural and 1 step daughter..but all of their teachers had my number...my kids didn't get away with shit lol __________________ Gaea "Building a lifetime together one day at a time" Courage: the willingness to risk who you are for who you want to be and what you have for what you want You're not who your past says you are, you are who you choose to be today moving forward.

06-04-2013, 08:03 PM	#2
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I don't know really, but since you asked for opinions... One reminiscent situation comes to mind. When i was in high school, from freshman to senior, there were a group of us girls that had dinner every single Friday night with two Male teachers. The reason was because we were cheerleaders and it was the football coaches, just before the football games. The entire football team went but the cheerleaders sat with the coaches (teachers) at their table. The "guys" all had the back room away from us. In appearance, that may not have looked so great. But, it was tradition. It was our "normal". And there were never any problems. Maybe it's just what they do after choir practice? But, i always say ...trust your gut. If you felt it was icky, check it out a little deeper. Good luck and ty for seeing this and questioning it. Even if it is innocent, it is good that we all watch for things that may not be "just right".