Butch visibility

Toughy · 06-13-2013, 06:29 PM

I was in downtown SF......it's Pride Month......rainbow flags everywhere and the City is starting to buzz......lots o lots o people will be here soon.

They have 6' tall billboards on the streets that are triangles. I was standing on a corner and looked over and saw this on one of them:

Butches, Bears and Furries
will love
Mini Coopers

of course there were pics of minis on the ad.....it was slick and glossy

swear to the Goddess........I love living here.

Ascot · 06-13-2013, 08:09 PM

I'm happy to see this thread getting a bump. Thanks, folks!

Rockinonahigh · 08-03-2013, 06:03 PM

I couldn't find the righ place to put this so please excuse me if this dosen't reason for the tread.
O.k hear it is.I leave for Vegas for a pool tournament with my ladies 8 ball team on the 14th of this month we have been a team for three years so know each other pretty well.We planed on all pileing up into two ajoining rooms...all eight of us.Most of them have no problem being in some stage of undress in the rooms,normaly this wouldn't be aproblem if I were straight but i'm not..not by a long shot.When we were being fitted for our team uniforms it was like a rolling strip joint at the tailors haveing shirts/pants altered to fit.I had to have my pants hemed as well as my shirt fitted a bit better so it wouldn't sag like a over large bag..I cant help if I have broad shoulders from lifting weights plus my arms are fairly bulked up with ment I had to get a shirt a sise larger to make it work.Well when I droped down to my skivies and binder they just staired,one had the guts to say ..you don;t wear girly undies?No says I,I go for what I feel good about wearing,besides I don't need to explane what wear.Most I doubt will have a problem but I really think a couple will.Other than getting my own room wich I can't afford this may or may not be slightly uncomfortable issue..Me,i'm not locker room shy but no matter how lebarated they may be..well they may really not be.Any ideas or recomendations will be greatly appresheated.Or I may well be just an old worry wart,dealing with straights can be difficult at times.

LexiLove · 10-27-2013, 11:07 AM

I am shaking with anger after reading some of these posts. I cannot understand how people can treat others like some of you have been treated. I am about to possiblly be very corny or ovely mushy but butches are ahhhhmazing. The ones I know are strong, intelligent, charming, chivalrous and yet are also soft, romantic, loving people. The perfect blend of everything good in the world. I tell my girlfriend that she should write a book to men teaching them how to be good, solid people. Obviously, I don't mean ALL men but the many I have known were useless humans. I am VERY protective of my butch but am also very protective of my butch friends and my FTM friend. I love butches, each and every one of you.

Bino85 · 10-31-2013, 02:27 PM

This is such a great topic. I have been a very visible Butch for over a decade. Its something I have had to grow into. I have always been very confident and comfortable with the way I look. It's just me. I get called Sir or young man all the time. It always makes me smile, i never correct anyone. I think of it like a compliment they dont know they are giving. Even my father introduces me to people as his other son.
Reading through there posts I really feel for some. I been very lucky in my part of the world. People seem pretty accepting. Although i feel ya'll on the bathroom front. My first time getting called out in the bathroom I was 18. It was a little girl (maybe 4). She asked her mom why there was a boy in the bathroom. After that my path was so clear. I get looks and comments all the time in public bathrooms. I think its funny, I just smile say hi and go about my business. When Im at the bar I always take a buddy. Drunk women get very defencive, but I would rather deal with drunk women then drunk dudes. Lucky for me all the bounced i have met that came to kick me out of the bathrooms always know right away what is going on. I have yet to be thrown out of a bar.
I am very comfortable with who i am and how i look. I feel like I rock the look. I know Im lucky have had so much positive support in my life. Props to all who rise to the top though the struggle.

Oh, someone was talking about scanning crowds for trouble makers. I do the same thing! Im sure I always will.

mountainbikedyke · 10-31-2013, 04:08 PM

Great thread!

I've never really had many negative issues while moving through life as a masculine woman... I'm comfortable with who I am and confident in all aspects of my life, and have been extremely lucky to have such a supportive family.

I have also had two careers where being masculine in appearance and dominant in personality has been to my advantage, and I know I'm lucky in this respect as well. Being sturdily built has also benefitted me.

It's appalling to me that my butch comrades have endured such treatment at the hands of ignorant fuckers! Knowing myself, I probably wouldn't have handled someone getting physical with me in as civilized a manner as those who have posted above.

Sadly, I have to say the most discrimination I've witnessed as a butch has been within the lesbian community. Butches, because of our outward appearance, got the shit kicked out of us in the past (Some still do, clearly.) and really paved the way for our community, only to now be seen as some sort of sub-culture.

Paradox · 12-30-2013, 09:49 PM

Great Thread.

I haven't had any dangerous issues with visibility and perhaps here in Canada there is more tolerance (not perfect by no means). I have heard of the rude, derogatory comments some of my friends received because of their appearance. There's a price to pay - the public scrutiny, community ridicule. It's like going through high school all over again. I always been thick skinned, but there are times that it is annoying can be hurtful.

I've experienced the 'what are you?' look on the faces of people I would meet for the first time who can not figure out if I am male or female. I don't scream dyke 24/7 but for many I look like a lesbian/butch. I received the double take in regard to the public washrooms on occasion, but again luckily nothing that would involve any confrontation.

Growing up tomboy, wearing my dads sweaters whenever I can, and preferring tees and slacks/jeans over skirt and dress is more natural for me.

I don't necessarily go out of may way to 'be' butch or non-femme. I have a naturally stronger masculine features. And it can be beneficial at times as I am not easily harassed. But at the same time there are the assumptions of what a butch should wear or how they should behave. However, there some nice, intelligent folks, as one friend who was smart enough to know that even though I look butch, (especially stereotypical idea that butch must = tough and rough), he understood due my height and size the odds of me moving around rolls of flooring by myself that was practically as tall as I am and weighting almost 500lbs ea is unlikely and got me the help I needed. He did not place misconceived assumptions about me because of a label, but used some practical sense.

Public displays of affection is not my cup of tea, and I am even more cautious when I am with a date or when I was in a relationship simply because people can be stupid and do stupid things. Much rather prevent an incident from happening as I don't handle stupid very well.

06-13-2013, 06:29 PM	#1
Toughy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: pervert butch feminist woman Preferred Pronoun?: see above Relationship Status: independent entity Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oakland Posts: 1,826 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,068 Thanked 7,654 Times in 1,523 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I was in downtown SF......it's Pride Month......rainbow flags everywhere and the City is starting to buzz......lots o lots o people will be here soon. They have 6' tall billboards on the streets that are triangles. I was standing on a corner and looked over and saw this on one of them: Butches, Bears and Furries will love Mini Coopers of course there were pics of minis on the ad.....it was slick and glossy swear to the Goddess........I love living here. __________________ We are everywhere We are different I do not care if resistance is futile I will not assimilate www.butchfemmesocials.com/

06-13-2013, 08:09 PM	#2
Ascot Member How Do You Identify?: Preppy Butch artist Relationship Status: Riding solo Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North of the Emerald City Posts: 1,135 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 179 Thanked 2,487 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Yay. I'm happy to see this thread getting a bump. Thanks, folks! __________________ Now, if I could just find a way to get paid for what I can do with my tongue and a cherry stem.

10-31-2013, 04:08 PM	#6
mountainbikedyke Member How Do You Identify?: Masculine Woman Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago y'all! Posts: 256 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 373 Thanked 494 Times in 147 Posts Rep Power: 20425078	Great thread! I've never really had many negative issues while moving through life as a masculine woman... I'm comfortable with who I am and confident in all aspects of my life, and have been extremely lucky to have such a supportive family. I have also had two careers where being masculine in appearance and dominant in personality has been to my advantage, and I know I'm lucky in this respect as well. Being sturdily built has also benefitted me. It's appalling to me that my butch comrades have endured such treatment at the hands of ignorant fuckers! Knowing myself, I probably wouldn't have handled someone getting physical with me in as civilized a manner as those who have posted above. Sadly, I have to say the most discrimination I've witnessed as a butch has been within the lesbian community. Butches, because of our outward appearance, got the shit kicked out of us in the past (Some still do, clearly.) and really paved the way for our community, only to now be seen as some sort of sub-culture. __________________

08-03-2013, 06:03 PM	#3
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I couldn't find the righ place to put this so please excuse me if this dosen't reason for the tread. O.k hear it is.I leave for Vegas for a pool tournament with my ladies 8 ball team on the 14th of this month we have been a team for three years so know each other pretty well.We planed on all pileing up into two ajoining rooms...all eight of us.Most of them have no problem being in some stage of undress in the rooms,normaly this wouldn't be aproblem if I were straight but i'm not..not by a long shot.When we were being fitted for our team uniforms it was like a rolling strip joint at the tailors haveing shirts/pants altered to fit.I had to have my pants hemed as well as my shirt fitted a bit better so it wouldn't sag like a over large bag..I cant help if I have broad shoulders from lifting weights plus my arms are fairly bulked up with ment I had to get a shirt a sise larger to make it work.Well when I droped down to my skivies and binder they just staired,one had the guts to say ..you don;t wear girly undies?No says I,I go for what I feel good about wearing,besides I don't need to explane what wear.Most I doubt will have a problem but I really think a couple will.Other than getting my own room wich I can't afford this may or may not be slightly uncomfortable issue..Me,i'm not locker room shy but no matter how lebarated they may be..well they may really not be.Any ideas or recomendations will be greatly appresheated.Or I may well be just an old worry wart,dealing with straights can be difficult at times.

10-27-2013, 11:07 AM	#4
LexiLove Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Fierce.Lesbian.Femme.Dyke. Preferred Pronoun?: She.Her.Sweetums. Relationship Status: I have her...hoping to keep her Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: NY for now Posts: 53 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31 Thanked 135 Times in 36 Posts Rep Power: 950353	I am shaking with anger after reading some of these posts. I cannot understand how people can treat others like some of you have been treated. I am about to possiblly be very corny or ovely mushy but butches are ahhhhmazing. The ones I know are strong, intelligent, charming, chivalrous and yet are also soft, romantic, loving people. The perfect blend of everything good in the world. I tell my girlfriend that she should write a book to men teaching them how to be good, solid people. Obviously, I don't mean ALL men but the many I have known were useless humans. I am VERY protective of my butch but am also very protective of my butch friends and my FTM friend. I love butches, each and every one of you.

10-31-2013, 02:27 PM	#5
Bino85 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Not entirely sure.. not looking Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 17 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 72 Times in 16 Posts Rep Power: 1124598	This is such a great topic. I have been a very visible Butch for over a decade. Its something I have had to grow into. I have always been very confident and comfortable with the way I look. It's just me. I get called Sir or young man all the time. It always makes me smile, i never correct anyone. I think of it like a compliment they dont know they are giving. Even my father introduces me to people as his other son. Reading through there posts I really feel for some. I been very lucky in my part of the world. People seem pretty accepting. Although i feel ya'll on the bathroom front. My first time getting called out in the bathroom I was 18. It was a little girl (maybe 4). She asked her mom why there was a boy in the bathroom. After that my path was so clear. I get looks and comments all the time in public bathrooms. I think its funny, I just smile say hi and go about my business. When Im at the bar I always take a buddy. Drunk women get very defencive, but I would rather deal with drunk women then drunk dudes. Lucky for me all the bounced i have met that came to kick me out of the bathrooms always know right away what is going on. I have yet to be thrown out of a bar. I am very comfortable with who i am and how i look. I feel like I rock the look. I know Im lucky have had so much positive support in my life. Props to all who rise to the top though the struggle. Oh, someone was talking about scanning crowds for trouble makers. I do the same thing! Im sure I always will.

12-30-2013, 09:49 PM	#7
Paradox Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Constant Outsider - Humanist Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Toronto - Canada Posts: 59 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 57 Thanked 191 Times in 49 Posts Rep Power: 1217577	Great Thread. I haven't had any dangerous issues with visibility and perhaps here in Canada there is more tolerance (not perfect by no means). I have heard of the rude, derogatory comments some of my friends received because of their appearance. There's a price to pay - the public scrutiny, community ridicule. It's like going through high school all over again. I always been thick skinned, but there are times that it is annoying can be hurtful. I've experienced the 'what are you?' look on the faces of people I would meet for the first time who can not figure out if I am male or female. I don't scream dyke 24/7 but for many I look like a lesbian/butch. I received the double take in regard to the public washrooms on occasion, but again luckily nothing that would involve any confrontation. Growing up tomboy, wearing my dads sweaters whenever I can, and preferring tees and slacks/jeans over skirt and dress is more natural for me. I don't necessarily go out of may way to 'be' butch or non-femme. I have a naturally stronger masculine features. And it can be beneficial at times as I am not easily harassed. But at the same time there are the assumptions of what a butch should wear or how they should behave. However, there some nice, intelligent folks, as one friend who was smart enough to know that even though I look butch, (especially stereotypical idea that butch must = tough and rough), he understood due my height and size the odds of me moving around rolls of flooring by myself that was practically as tall as I am and weighting almost 500lbs ea is unlikely and got me the help I needed. He did not place misconceived assumptions about me because of a label, but used some practical sense. Public displays of affection is not my cup of tea, and I am even more cautious when I am with a date or when I was in a relationship simply because people can be stupid and do stupid things. Much rather prevent an incident from happening as I don't handle stupid very well.