top or dom/me, sub or bottom

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

I didn't capitolise cause I don't do on line stuff and refuse to. sorry. However, the question is, I've been asked to articulate the difference.
I personally know the difference to ME... but I suspect that the difference is not across the board. I like more mind-fuck power games and being objectified and frankly I hate making any decisions in bed so when I'm on the power giver side of the equation, I'm more of a submissive, fuck doll rather than a bottom.

And plently of people have told me they were tops and I slept with them expecting a dominant and that's not what I was met with. They were certainly tops though.

I also work from the dominant top side of things and have met with dominant bottoms, which I either fight with (fun!) or I turn into a submissive top. depending on my mood. Hard to explain to people.

how would you explain the difference to someone who isn't into BDSM in term of scenes or whips or play parties or dungeons or... they are kinky and do power exchange but they aren't into leather or lifestyle. what those words mean? the difference between them?

they are label adverse so I'm doing my best to keep it simple. You know how in 101 you learn sort of basic terminology and general ideas that in 400 levels you find out aren't actually true? That.

Thank you for this thread, and I hope more people will share their experiences and thoughts.

I read all of the BDSM threads, not to have you all educate me because I'm lazy and can't do it myself, but because you're real people with real lives, and somehow it makes it easier for me to understand something that I have never been exposed to myself.

Anyhoo...thank you