Prenuptial Agreements. Anyone have one? Anyone who would consider one if they married?

sierragirrl · 07-20-2013, 05:24 PM

I have gone thru a divorce the house was bought before we married the stocks were there before I came into the picture.
I took nothing when I left besides what was mine going into the marriage.
the only thing I took that was made during that time was a child.
I was a housewife and did not work but I did feel it wasn't fair to try to take what wasn't mine.to this day he still owns the house,his stocks,& 401k..

me I own a car and that's it.
I do however have his respect and I am lucky enough that he is one of the rocks in my life.
gold digger I am not

I would hope that If I ever did get married again the same respect would be there

The_Lady_Snow · 07-20-2013, 06:31 PM

I'm going to spend all the little bit of money I have on me, my adventures, my slave, my mini trips, my road trips, my Leather, my causes, my toys, and on HK stuff... Everyone else is on their own!!!

That said, no need fo' a pre nup.....

sofimichi · 11-05-2013, 12:43 PM

My fiance and I both come from families which have been divorced. We have both seen our parents fight for money and goods and we don't want anything like that.
We are planning on having a prenup. Truth is, we aren't Kanye West or Warren Buffet, and we don't want to be. But if something happened in the future which would make us have money, and if something were to happen in which we couldn't fix it, and just had to separate, I want her to have everything she came into the marriage with. Should we ever split up, I would hope that the person with the most income would be generous enough to help the other person.
We aren't wealthy (at. all.) but we think that being happy and safe is something no money can buy. And if the prenup makes us both feel safe, so be it.

JDeere · 06-15-2016, 10:22 PM

I am going to make up a pre nup if I ever get married, just in case.

If she won't sign it then it's not meant to be.

storyspinner70 · 06-27-2016, 07:24 PM

If either of us had substantial assets of any kind, or we were doing something businessy together, there would definitely be a pre-nup. The best, most caring person in the world can turn into a petty bitch when things go bad - even if it's just for a little while. Human nature is far from a settled, obvious thing. Trust them; love them; but be smart enough that if the end should happen to come, it's as smooth and simple as possible - there's already likely to be drama and pain already, you sure don't need more over who gets the antique chifferobe and Minx the cat.

JDeere · 07-30-2016, 07:34 PM

I had another discussion with my folks, they said if I get married that I better get a pre nup.

I found out my sister's new husband signed one before they got married, it upset him but he signed it.

I think they are a good thing to have just in case problems arise and things go really sour, so yeah I plan on having a pre nup written out whenever time comes.

kittygrrl · 02-26-2017, 10:27 AM

pre-nups..I think if you are rich enough or are worrying about your riches and your judgement it's probably a good idea..it's foolish to enter a marriage when you're not sure what you are getting into, better live together and figure it out..it's basically insurance and I don't have a problem with people who want or need it..just not something I would be happy with.

clay · 02-26-2017, 10:54 AM

I would not ask for one personally. I am not into material wealth & could care less about $$. I would be respectful of what she may have & as to my own, would be shared equally. That is just how I roll.

It is all about having that trust & confidence in my chosen partner. Therefore, when I choose to marry, it will be 50/50 on my part.

*Anya* · 02-26-2017, 12:08 PM

I have a different point of view.

At one time, I would have said, "No way". If you love someone you trust them.

I have seen both sides now- hey, isn't that a lyric from a song? Joni Mitchell maybe?

Anyway: some cautionary tales. People that you would not expect in a million years to become mercenary, money-grabbers, can totally surprise you; after the love dies or family, even with a will.

My recent ex dealt with it twice. The first time after a 20-year break-up and a domestic partnership. Her ex fought for a bigger piece of the pie and my ex had to get and pay for an attorney. Never did she expect this.

Then she had to deal with one of her sisters getting an attorney saying my ex did not divide all money equally. Ex had an attorney handle the will issues and a CPA handled the money, including a forensic accounting! It is probably still going on and the taxi meter still runs for the attorney she had to hire.

My long-term ex had her brother named the executor of her parents will. They had big bucks. He took her to court repeatedly trying to get the terms of the will changed, up to and including stating the parents were not in their right mind when they wrote the will! It went on for years and still may be, for all I know.

I don't have a lot but I want to make sure my daughters get their share. If I am fortunate enough to find love again-yes I would do a pre-nup and I would be happy to sign one for the new love.

Getting married or a domestic partnership is a business arrangement. Two hearts come together as one, but also two financial situations come together as one.

I was much more naive when I was younger but I have seen much and am personally a little more cautious than I used to be.

I still think that everyone should be good, fair and just but I know now that not everyone is.

DapperButch · 02-26-2017, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by storyspinner70

If either of us had substantial assets of any kind, or we were doing something businessy together, there would definitely be a pre-nup. The best, most caring person in the world can turn into a petty bitch when things go bad - even if it's just for a little while. Human nature is far from a settled, obvious thing. Trust them; love them; but be smart enough that if the end should happen to come, it's as smooth and simple as possible - there's already likely to be drama and pain already, you sure don't need more over who gets the antique chifferobe and Minx the cat.

Exactly. And my question was if one would get a pre nup if they had substantial money to lose. Money you had coming into the marriage. If one doesn't have any assets than it is easy to say, no pre nup. I don't have much, but I spent 20 years skipping vacations and holding onto a car for 17 years in order to put money away for retirement. I would, and have, told partners who have had more than me, that a pre nup is the way for them to go...whether they married me, or someone else. I would hate to see them, or anyone get "cleaned out", which happens.

It doesn't me that you don't love your partner or expect to be with them forever. You can't foresee the future and people break up for all sorts of reasons.

07-20-2013, 06:31 PM	#2
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,078 Times in 15,670 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	"I'm Tunechi, Young Tunechi, I wear Trukfit fuck Gucci" I'm going to spend all the little bit of money I have on me, my adventures, my slave, my mini trips, my road trips, my Leather, my causes, my toys, and on HK stuff... Everyone else is on their own!!! That said, no need fo' a pre nup..... __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden Last edited by The_Lady_Snow; 07-20-2013 at 06:33 PM. Reason: Oops forgot tiny detail

06-27-2016, 07:24 PM	#5
storyspinner70 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: VA Posts: 355 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,366 Thanked 987 Times in 289 Posts Rep Power: 8681947	If either of us had substantial assets of any kind, or we were doing something businessy together, there would definitely be a pre-nup. The best, most caring person in the world can turn into a petty bitch when things go bad - even if it's just for a little while. Human nature is far from a settled, obvious thing. Trust them; love them; but be smart enough that if the end should happen to come, it's as smooth and simple as possible - there's already likely to be drama and pain already, you sure don't need more over who gets the antique chifferobe and Minx the cat. __________________ So plant your own gardens and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. ― Jorge Luis Borges

02-26-2017, 10:27 AM	#7
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: gf Relationship Status: Uranus will retrograde in Gemini Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,613 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,694 Thanked 22,133 Times in 7,204 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	pre-nups..I think if you are rich enough or are worrying about your riches and your judgement it's probably a good idea..it's foolish to enter a marriage when you're not sure what you are getting into, better live together and figure it out..it's basically insurance and I don't have a problem with people who want or need it..just not something I would be happy with. __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

02-26-2017, 10:54 AM	#8
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,666 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	I would not ask for one personally. I am not into material wealth & could care less about $$. I would be respectful of what she may have & as to my own, would be shared equally. That is just how I roll. It is all about having that trust & confidence in my chosen partner. Therefore, when I choose to marry, it will be 50/50 on my part. __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

02-26-2017, 12:08 PM	#9
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,449 Times in 7,285 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I have a different point of view. At one time, I would have said, "No way". If you love someone you trust them. I have seen both sides now- hey, isn't that a lyric from a song? Joni Mitchell maybe? Anyway: some cautionary tales. People that you would not expect in a million years to become mercenary, money-grabbers, can totally surprise you; after the love dies or family, even with a will. My recent ex dealt with it twice. The first time after a 20-year break-up and a domestic partnership. Her ex fought for a bigger piece of the pie and my ex had to get and pay for an attorney. Never did she expect this. Then she had to deal with one of her sisters getting an attorney saying my ex did not divide all money equally. Ex had an attorney handle the will issues and a CPA handled the money, including a forensic accounting! It is probably still going on and the taxi meter still runs for the attorney she had to hire. My long-term ex had her brother named the executor of her parents will. They had big bucks. He took her to court repeatedly trying to get the terms of the will changed, up to and including stating the parents were not in their right mind when they wrote the will! It went on for years and still may be, for all I know. I don't have a lot but I want to make sure my daughters get their share. If I am fortunate enough to find love again-yes I would do a pre-nup and I would be happy to sign one for the new love. Getting married or a domestic partnership is a business arrangement. Two hearts come together as one, but also two financial situations come together as one. I was much more naive when I was younger but I have seen much and am personally a little more cautious than I used to be. I still think that everyone should be good, fair and just but I know now that not everyone is. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

07-20-2013, 05:24 PM	#1
sierragirrl Member How Do You Identify?: .... Relationship Status: <3 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: ..... Posts: 783 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,417 Thanked 2,870 Times in 667 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I have gone thru a divorce the house was bought before we married the stocks were there before I came into the picture. I took nothing when I left besides what was mine going into the marriage. the only thing I took that was made during that time was a child. I was a housewife and did not work but I did feel it wasn't fair to try to take what wasn't mine.to this day he still owns the house,his stocks,& 401k.. me I own a car and that's it. I do however have his respect and I am lucky enough that he is one of the rocks in my life. gold digger I am not I would hope that If I ever did get married again the same respect would be there

11-05-2013, 12:43 PM	#3
sofimichi Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femmeinist Preferred Pronoun?: femenine ones, "hey you," etc. Relationship Status: Engaged! Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Missouri Posts: 37 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 27 Thanked 85 Times in 23 Posts Rep Power: 1722501	My fiance and I both come from families which have been divorced. We have both seen our parents fight for money and goods and we don't want anything like that. We are planning on having a prenup. Truth is, we aren't Kanye West or Warren Buffet, and we don't want to be. But if something happened in the future which would make us have money, and if something were to happen in which we couldn't fix it, and just had to separate, I want her to have everything she came into the marriage with. Should we ever split up, I would hope that the person with the most income would be generous enough to help the other person. We aren't wealthy (at. all.) but we think that being happy and safe is something no money can buy. And if the prenup makes us both feel safe, so be it.

06-15-2016, 10:22 PM	#4
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,833 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	I am going to make up a pre nup if I ever get married, just in case. If she won't sign it then it's not meant to be.

07-30-2016, 07:34 PM	#6
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,833 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	I had another discussion with my folks, they said if I get married that I better get a pre nup. I found out my sister's new husband signed one before they got married, it upset him but he signed it. I think they are a good thing to have just in case problems arise and things go really sour, so yeah I plan on having a pre nup written out whenever time comes.