Have You Found Your Soul Mate?

bigbutchmistie · 04-10-2010, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ldyluck88

Soulmate is just that, A Mate of the Soul, which to me is not in the physical sense, tho I wish I would have that kind of a connection with a partner.

Yep me too I wished I could connect like that with a partner

bigbutchmistie · 04-10-2010, 10:03 PM

I read this article today and thought Id share.. Really makes ya think

Calling Forth a Soulmate

How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don’t. I’ve read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don’t believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door. It doesn’t happen that way. You can open your heart and mind to finding a beautiful loving relationship, but chances are that using the word soulmate will almost jinx you from finding it. Why?

For many of us, when we think of a soulmate, we think of someone perfect. Someone who is gorgeous, brilliant, funny, naturally happy and kind. We think of someone who wants exactly the same things out of life that we want. We picture a meeting right out of the movies where both parties meet on the street and instantly fall madly head over heels in love. We think that there will never be any conflict beyond a quaint debate over what colors to paint the baby’s nursery. We imagine lovemaking that is so phenomenally perfect the first time that one cries from the sheer artistic beauty and telepathic oneness. All problems and challenges in our lives will suddenly melt away into faint memories because our soulmate has arrived and their presence alone is so cosmic and amazing that all else pales in comparison.

Yeah, and if I say my affirmations with enough conviction, gold coins are going to start growing instead of dandelions in my yard too! Wake up! If you’re dreaming of that kind of a soulmate, then you need to rent some good movies and call it good. Love doesn’t go like that and you know better. Look at it this way…. You are the other half of that equation. Let’s be serious. If you are someone’s soulmate, and they find you -- are you capable of being that incredibly flawless and perfect for them? No of course not. Nor are they. Soulmates are as mixed up and weird as you are. They may have the same flaws as you do or completely different ones. If you are holding out for that fantasy, then you are playing a psychological game with yourself. You have created an impossible dream to hide behind so that you don’t have to really risk falling in love with a real live human being, warts and all.

Yes, I do believe that there are extremely rare cases where one ‘feels’ or ‘knows’ there is a certain person they are meant to find and they are haunted by the need to find that one person. They are doomed to hunt for that needle in a haystack. But let’s get serious, that isn’t the norm. We have all heard so much about soulmates that we just think it would be really cool. Well it’s not. It sucks to spend a lifetime passing up real love with real people because somewhere out there is this voice calling your name. You doubt your sanity and spend most of your life lonely and searching. Don’t do it. Find real love with real people.

Change your definition of soulmate. Call to yourself someone who is open and real. Call to yourself someone who is genuine and capable of love on a real everyday level in a real everyday world where people get up and go to work and pay bills. Call to yourself someone who knows how to show and express their love without manipulation and head games. Call forth a forever kind of love. Call forth a best friend that you can sit with in your rocking chair on the front porch when you are too old to make love anymore. Call someone who loves you enough to kick you in the butt when you are screwing up. Call forth someone who will shout from the rooftop when you are deserving of praise too. Call forth someone who is a loyal and faithful lover willing to learn and grow with you behind closed doors. Leave the rest to fate. Don’t define them. Don’t imagine the look of their face or the color of their eyes. Don’t predetermine anything else about them. Let them be exactly who they are and you be who you are. Then work on making yourself into the same type of person that I just described so that you will be worthy of them when they show up.

When you go through your ceremonies, affirmations, and prayers for your soulmate, ask the heavens to help you to be open-minded and to not judge what that person is supposed to be. Ask for a feeling of their essence so that you will recognize it when you see them for real. How does it feel to be with them? If you had a perfect ideal partner, you would not be able to relax and be yourself because they were not of the same energy as you. Raise your own self to be your best and ask for a partner that matches your level of development so that you can grow together. You don’t want to have a partner who is in every way superior to you because they are perfect and you are only human do you?

Unless you can lighten up your definition of what a soulmate is, then you really shouldn’t use the term. It will only bring you loneliness and heartache if you insist on waiting for perfection. The best advise I can give you if you want an amazing forever kind of love is to be healthy, happy, and independent. Quit worrying about when love will find you and get busy with living your life. Keep your heart open and your eyes open for the possible love of a lifetime, but don’t obsess over it. Whatever is meant to be will be -- whether you call it to you or not. Call for help being a beautiful soul. Trust that the rest will fall into place in it’s own perfect time.

diamondrose · 12-09-2010, 02:10 PM

I think your soulmate doesn't have to be your partner. I think your soulmate can be a best friend

asphaltcowboi · 12-09-2010, 05:18 PM

yes i think my soul mate is reba! im just sure of it

Gemme · 12-09-2010, 10:54 PM

I've done some thinking on this matter since I last posted and I think a soul mate is someone that just 'gets' me, be it friend or lover or little old man waiting for the bus on the corner.

I still feel the term holds a certain amount of weight but the weight doesn't have to be in the form of a shackle, I've learned. Organic gets me. My flaws are still there, but through his eyes, they are minimized and his through mine (except the damn snoring...because it's my ears that tell me about that not so little flaw).

But the weight and responsibility can be equally shared and, thus, becomes not a burden but something that builds strength.

Puplove · 12-10-2010, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

I've done some thinking on this matter since I last posted and I think a soul mate is someone that just 'gets' me, be it friend or lover or little old man waiting for the bus on the corner.

I still feel the term holds a certain amount of weight but the weight doesn't have to be in the form of a shackle, I've learned. Organic gets me. My flaws are still there, but through his eyes, they are minimized and his through mine (except the damn snoring...because it's my ears that tell me about that not so little flaw).

But the weight and responsibility can be equally shared and, thus, becomes not a burden but something that builds strength.

Yeah! What you said.

Gráinne · 01-14-2011, 07:28 PM

I want someone who compliments my life and makes me want to grow and better myself. I don't believe in the One, the SoulMate, because it is too tempting to pass up perfectly good people because they don't fit some fairy tale picture of what that soulmate should look like. I don't believe in "love happily ever after", because life and love takes work. I also don't believe in meeting the "other half" that completes me. I complete myself. I don't want "half a person", I want a fully complete person with or without me.

Someone else mentioned that now that we live longer, there are different partners for each period of our lives. "Till death do us part" might work when we only lived until 40, but we're living a lot longer than that now. Who can say that the person we flipped for at 20 would stir us up at 50? Maybe rarely, but not much.

I think there are many possible partners we could be compatible with, and so it pays to be even more dilligent about "screening" who we go with.

Sam · 01-14-2011, 07:31 PM

i literally dont believe, but i dare to be proved wrong ha

Passionaria · 01-14-2011, 07:58 PM

No, I have not, but I have had some delicious fun looking for them, a bit like wine tasting night at Whole Foods. I can admit to favoring a smooth, fragrant Spanish Tempranillo.

Nightshade · 01-14-2011, 08:07 PM

I don't believe in a soul. But I get the spirit (<-- see what I did there?) of the question.

I don't believe there is one person who is our perfect partner. I do believe there are people who see us for who we truly are and not who they want us to be, or even who WE want them to see. I believe there are people who are wonderful fits for our personalities, our lifestyles, our strengths and weaknesses. There are partners in crime and zigs to our zags.

I've met several of these folks who fit me well, and for one reason or another (choices, life experiences, issues, scars and whatnot) we've parted ways.

I hope someday to find someone with their eyes wide open who likes what they see and can stay for the duration.

12-09-2010, 05:18 PM	#4
asphaltcowboi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Relationship Status: HAPPY Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: ..... Posts: 1,509 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,367 Thanked 3,297 Times in 1,042 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	yes i think my soul mate is reba! im just sure of it __________________

12-09-2010, 10:54 PM	#5
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,893 Times in 25,664 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	I've done some thinking on this matter since I last posted and I think a soul mate is someone that just 'gets' me, be it friend or lover or little old man waiting for the bus on the corner. I still feel the term holds a certain amount of weight but the weight doesn't have to be in the form of a shackle, I've learned. Organic gets me. My flaws are still there, but through his eyes, they are minimized and his through mine (except the damn snoring...because it's my ears that tell me about that not so little flaw). But the weight and responsibility can be equally shared and, thus, becomes not a burden but something that builds strength. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

01-14-2011, 07:28 PM	#7
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,866 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,119 Thanked 7,391 Times in 1,459 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I want someone who compliments my life and makes me want to grow and better myself. I don't believe in the One, the SoulMate, because it is too tempting to pass up perfectly good people because they don't fit some fairy tale picture of what that soulmate should look like. I don't believe in "love happily ever after", because life and love takes work. I also don't believe in meeting the "other half" that completes me. I complete myself. I don't want "half a person", I want a fully complete person with or without me. Someone else mentioned that now that we live longer, there are different partners for each period of our lives. "Till death do us part" might work when we only lived until 40, but we're living a lot longer than that now. Who can say that the person we flipped for at 20 would stir us up at 50? Maybe rarely, but not much. I think there are many possible partners we could be compatible with, and so it pays to be even more dilligent about "screening" who we go with. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

01-14-2011, 07:58 PM	#9
Passionaria Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Urban Bohemian : http://youtu.be/IM96Ch9Gx4A Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: She ran away with with the Gypsy's ✿ Posts: 2,519 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,316 Thanked 3,737 Times in 1,248 Posts Rep Power: 16689911	No, I have not, but I have had some delicious fun looking for them, a bit like wine tasting night at Whole Foods. I can admit to favoring a smooth, fragrant Spanish Tempranillo. __________________ *Moon cat madness*

04-10-2010, 10:03 PM	#2
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I read this article today and thought Id share.. Really makes ya think Calling Forth a Soulmate How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don’t. I’ve read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don’t believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door. It doesn’t happen that way. You can open your heart and mind to finding a beautiful loving relationship, but chances are that using the word soulmate will almost jinx you from finding it. Why? For many of us, when we think of a soulmate, we think of someone perfect. Someone who is gorgeous, brilliant, funny, naturally happy and kind. We think of someone who wants exactly the same things out of life that we want. We picture a meeting right out of the movies where both parties meet on the street and instantly fall madly head over heels in love. We think that there will never be any conflict beyond a quaint debate over what colors to paint the baby’s nursery. We imagine lovemaking that is so phenomenally perfect the first time that one cries from the sheer artistic beauty and telepathic oneness. All problems and challenges in our lives will suddenly melt away into faint memories because our soulmate has arrived and their presence alone is so cosmic and amazing that all else pales in comparison. Yeah, and if I say my affirmations with enough conviction, gold coins are going to start growing instead of dandelions in my yard too! Wake up! If you’re dreaming of that kind of a soulmate, then you need to rent some good movies and call it good. Love doesn’t go like that and you know better. Look at it this way…. You are the other half of that equation. Let’s be serious. If you are someone’s soulmate, and they find you -- are you capable of being that incredibly flawless and perfect for them? No of course not. Nor are they. Soulmates are as mixed up and weird as you are. They may have the same flaws as you do or completely different ones. If you are holding out for that fantasy, then you are playing a psychological game with yourself. You have created an impossible dream to hide behind so that you don’t have to really risk falling in love with a real live human being, warts and all. Yes, I do believe that there are extremely rare cases where one ‘feels’ or ‘knows’ there is a certain person they are meant to find and they are haunted by the need to find that one person. They are doomed to hunt for that needle in a haystack. But let’s get serious, that isn’t the norm. We have all heard so much about soulmates that we just think it would be really cool. Well it’s not. It sucks to spend a lifetime passing up real love with real people because somewhere out there is this voice calling your name. You doubt your sanity and spend most of your life lonely and searching. Don’t do it. Find real love with real people. Change your definition of soulmate. Call to yourself someone who is open and real. Call to yourself someone who is genuine and capable of love on a real everyday level in a real everyday world where people get up and go to work and pay bills. Call to yourself someone who knows how to show and express their love without manipulation and head games. Call forth a forever kind of love. Call forth a best friend that you can sit with in your rocking chair on the front porch when you are too old to make love anymore. Call someone who loves you enough to kick you in the butt when you are screwing up. Call forth someone who will shout from the rooftop when you are deserving of praise too. Call forth someone who is a loyal and faithful lover willing to learn and grow with you behind closed doors. Leave the rest to fate. Don’t define them. Don’t imagine the look of their face or the color of their eyes. Don’t predetermine anything else about them. Let them be exactly who they are and you be who you are. Then work on making yourself into the same type of person that I just described so that you will be worthy of them when they show up. When you go through your ceremonies, affirmations, and prayers for your soulmate, ask the heavens to help you to be open-minded and to not judge what that person is supposed to be. Ask for a feeling of their essence so that you will recognize it when you see them for real. How does it feel to be with them? If you had a perfect ideal partner, you would not be able to relax and be yourself because they were not of the same energy as you. Raise your own self to be your best and ask for a partner that matches your level of development so that you can grow together. You don’t want to have a partner who is in every way superior to you because they are perfect and you are only human do you? Unless you can lighten up your definition of what a soulmate is, then you really shouldn’t use the term. It will only bring you loneliness and heartache if you insist on waiting for perfection. The best advise I can give you if you want an amazing forever kind of love is to be healthy, happy, and independent. Quit worrying about when love will find you and get busy with living your life. Keep your heart open and your eyes open for the possible love of a lifetime, but don’t obsess over it. Whatever is meant to be will be -- whether you call it to you or not. Call for help being a beautiful soul. Trust that the rest will fall into place in it’s own perfect time.

12-09-2010, 02:10 PM	#3
diamondrose Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: . Posts: 1,384 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2 Thanked 2,895 Times in 923 Posts Rep Power: 13536274	I think your soulmate doesn't have to be your partner. I think your soulmate can be a best friend

01-14-2011, 07:31 PM	#8
Sam Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 2/11/2011 Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: I'll let you know Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 1,131 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,101 Thanked 668 Times in 363 Posts Rep Power: 0	i literally dont believe, but i dare to be proved wrong ha

01-14-2011, 08:07 PM	#10
Nightshade Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme Preferred Pronoun?: her/she Relationship Status: . Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: here Posts: 125 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 503 Thanked 236 Times in 84 Posts Rep Power: 42018	I don't believe in a soul. But I get the spirit (<-- see what I did there?) of the question. I don't believe there is one person who is our perfect partner. I do believe there are people who see us for who we truly are and not who they want us to be, or even who WE want them to see. I believe there are people who are wonderful fits for our personalities, our lifestyles, our strengths and weaknesses. There are partners in crime and zigs to our zags. I've met several of these folks who fit me well, and for one reason or another (choices, life experiences, issues, scars and whatnot) we've parted ways. I hope someday to find someone with their eyes wide open who likes what they see and can stay for the duration.