Corny jokes

Gaige · 08-04-2013, 07:45 AM

What’s Irish and stays out all night?

Pati-o furniture :-p

Hollylane · 08-04-2013, 09:14 AM

What does a mermaid wear to math class?

An algae-bra.

Cin · 08-04-2013, 10:57 AM

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

always2late · 08-04-2013, 11:35 AM

Two french fries were walking down the road, and one was a-salted.

PaPa · 08-04-2013, 11:53 AM

So, the Three Wise Men have arrived in Bethlehem, and have found the stable with Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. As the enter the stable, the 1st Wise Man ducks through the low door, turns his head and calls over his should "Heads up, low beam". The 2nd Wise Man ducks as well, but doesn't warn the Wise Man following, who walks straight into the knotty pine beam. "Jesus Christ!!" he exclaims, slapping a hand to his bruised forehead.

"You know, I like that better than Irving!" Mary says to Joseph....

Orema · 05-05-2014, 06:42 AM

What's the difference between a dog and a fox?

Five drinks.

Gemme · 05-05-2014, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Candelion

The light-hearted teasing between butches and femmes is all part of the dynamic for me. Because we adore, understand, and appreciate each other, I know good-natured teasing when I see it. And I enjoy it.

Off to post about the exciting baked potato I had for dinner.

.

It's okay. We all have different levels of what we find acceptable and what we deem teasing. No harm done.

I will point out that not all butches are 'she', though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy_Go_Lucky

Gemme, I personally promise I will never make fun of water coolers. Criss cross apple sauce.

Happy, I applaud your efforts to make water coolers everywhere feel safe.

Mopsie · 08-10-2013, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wrang1er

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gaige

What’s Irish and stays out all night?

Pati-o furniture :-p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hollylane

What does a mermaid wear to math class?

An algae-bra.

I worked at my part time job last night. I told my client the first three jokes from this thread. She loved them! She laughed so hard I thought she was going to spit out her meds.

Thanks for all the jokes everybody - keep them coming!

Wrang1er · 08-10-2013, 07:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mopsie

I worked at my part time job last night. I told my client the first three jokes from this thread. She loved them! She laughed so hard I thought she was going to spit out her meds.

Thanks for all the jokes everybody - keep them coming!

Mopsie - knowing that makes this even better.

Thanks for sharing.

Mopsie · 08-10-2013, 12:24 PM

I just realized I forgot to post the one that my client told me last night...

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

I have no eye-deer!

puddin' · 08-10-2013, 02:36 PM

blind man goes into a bar. picks up his seeing eye dog and swings it around over his head, then puts it down. barkeep says "mate, what was that all about?". blind man says "nothing, just having a look around."

Chad · 08-10-2013, 06:07 PM

I love this thread! It is so funny.

I am warming up some jokes to join in soon so wait right here I will be back.

Chad

ahk · 08-12-2013, 10:42 AM

How do you make an egg roll?
You push it!!

Janstevie · 08-12-2013, 03:25 PM

Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"

Chad · 08-12-2013, 07:34 PM

I borrowed this from some science friends......

What did the number 0 say to the number 8?
Nice belt!

ahk · 08-13-2013, 11:39 AM

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

puddin' · 08-13-2013, 12:29 PM

have you heard of the new restaurant on the moon? the food is amazing, but i've heard its got no atmosphere...

ahk · 08-14-2013, 11:59 AM

What do you call an fake noodle?

An impasta!!

08-04-2013, 09:14 AM	#2
Hollylane Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: . Posts: 11,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,694 Thanked 26,362 Times in 5,875 Posts Rep Power: 21474862	Cute/fun thread Mopsie! :) What does a mermaid wear to math class? An algae-bra.

08-04-2013, 11:35 AM	#4
always2late Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 2,000 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Two french fries were walking down the road, and one was a-salted. __________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi

08-04-2013, 11:53 AM	#5
PaPa Senior Member How Do You Identify?: GQ Butch Daddy Relationship Status: A Very Protective BIG Daddy... Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 2,657 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,597 Thanked 5,871 Times in 1,530 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	God forgive me but I thought this was funny.... So, the Three Wise Men have arrived in Bethlehem, and have found the stable with Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. As the enter the stable, the 1st Wise Man ducks through the low door, turns his head and calls over his should "Heads up, low beam". The 2nd Wise Man ducks as well, but doesn't warn the Wise Man following, who walks straight into the knotty pine beam. "Jesus Christ!!" he exclaims, slapping a hand to his bruised forehead. "You know, I like that better than Irving!" Mary says to Joseph....

08-10-2013, 02:36 PM	#11
puddin' Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: a genderqueer nuisance Preferred Pronoun?: bitchboi Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: new zealand Posts: 7,120 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,467 Thanked 7,962 Times in 2,340 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	one a resident told me last night... blind man goes into a bar. picks up his seeing eye dog and swings it around over his head, then puts it down. barkeep says "mate, what was that all about?". blind man says "nothing, just having a look around."

08-10-2013, 06:07 PM	#12
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Fun I love this thread! It is so funny. I am warming up some jokes to join in soon so wait right here I will be back. Chad

08-04-2013, 07:45 AM	#1
Gaige Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: above my boots Posts: 2,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,649 Thanked 3,755 Times in 1,171 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	What’s Irish and stays out all night? Pati-o furniture :-p

08-04-2013, 10:57 AM	#3
Cin Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: In My Head Posts: 2,815 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,333 Thanked 10,409 Times in 2,477 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

05-05-2014, 06:42 AM	#6
Orema Superlative Soul Sister How Do You Identify?: Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Moving in a single file Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Cottage of Content Posts: 13,620 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 41,453 Thanked 34,707 Times in 8,944 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	What's the difference between a dog and a fox? Five drinks.

08-10-2013, 12:24 PM	#10
Mopsie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female ones Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Shenandoah Valley Virginia Posts: 4,769 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 36,246 Thanked 8,552 Times in 1,856 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I just realized I forgot to post the one that my client told me last night... What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no eye-deer!

08-12-2013, 10:42 AM	#13
ahk Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: Male Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: NM Posts: 5,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,688 Thanked 8,538 Times in 2,630 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	How do you make an egg roll? You push it!!

08-12-2013, 03:25 PM	#14
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"

08-12-2013, 07:34 PM	#15
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Joke I borrowed this from some science friends...... What did the number 0 say to the number 8? Nice belt!

08-13-2013, 11:39 AM	#16
ahk Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: Male Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: NM Posts: 5,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,688 Thanked 8,538 Times in 2,630 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

08-13-2013, 12:29 PM	#17
puddin' Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: a genderqueer nuisance Preferred Pronoun?: bitchboi Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: new zealand Posts: 7,120 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,467 Thanked 7,962 Times in 2,340 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	have you heard of the new restaurant on the moon? the food is amazing, but i've heard its got no atmosphere...

08-14-2013, 11:59 AM	#18
ahk Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: Male Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: NM Posts: 5,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,688 Thanked 8,538 Times in 2,630 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	What do you call an fake noodle? An impasta!!