This side of Heaven

Sweet Bliss · 08-17-2013, 09:29 PM

Well, it's not working. I've done everything I know how to do. Prayed, asked forgiveness, meditated, cried, written letters, poetry, stories, dreamed a way out, a way back.

Focused on moving out of my fantasy, hoped for best, expected nothing.

And that's just what happened. Nothing.

So I surrender to a power greater than myself.

Love.

MysticOceansFL · 08-17-2013, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet Bliss

Well, it's not working. I've done everything I know how to do. Prayed, asked forgiveness, meditated, cried, written letters, poetry, stories, dreamed a way out, a way back.

Focused on moving out of my fantasy, hoped for best, expected nothing.

And that's just what happened. Nothing.

So I surrender to a power greater than myself.

Love.

People see the beauty in you!!!!!!

Sweet Bliss · 08-22-2013, 08:24 PM

I have been doing some soul searching lately. Although the Epiphany Fairy has been sitting on my head pointing things out to me, with gales of laughter, it's been at times pretty painful. It occurred to me the reason for discord and missed opportunity in my relationships is my beliefs, expectations, desire, and seeing failings in others that are simply reflections of my failures. I can only recognize many of my issues when someone else is brave enough to show them to me.

Thank you, I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you, .....

Sweet Bliss · 09-07-2013, 08:37 AM

Looks like my dreams are over, the insulation is making no dent in the heat factor and there is no way I can live in it comfortably. It won't be protection for the cold either. My mosaic tile work has fallen off the risers. Putting radiant barrier on the windows did nothing to stop the heat build up. Farmers almanac says we are going to get a nasty cold winter here in the far south.

I'm so screwed.

Lol, and ... oh the hell with it. Why do I even bother posting about it? It's not like it matters to anyone but me.

Okie dokie, gonna drive Grace to the storage unit and empty it out. Should be a great day to visit the er later today. I'll see you guys on the other side.

Sweet Bliss · 11-24-2013, 06:28 PM

Year five. Might as well be zero hour.
I see her when I glance in the mirror.
Soft brown peppered with white.
pale flesh on tired bones.

She died again last night.
Every night for the last week.
I resist the pull of my nest
Resist the ache between my ribs.

Centimeter from collapsing again.
Ocean of tears pushing,
against the levy
protecting my broken heart.

she loved me,
she loved me not.
i loved her,
i loved her not.

Sweet Bliss · 12-05-2013, 05:52 PM

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1604076631/ref=cm_sw_r_an_am_at_ws_us?ie=UTF8"]Freedom from Pain: Discover Your Body's Power to Overcome Physical Pain: Peter A. Levine, Maggie Phillips: 9781604076639: Amazon.com: Books[/ame]

Sweet Bliss · 12-06-2013, 08:08 PM

there once was a honey named JAGG
who hated all cats and their mew

he wanted a Lady to shag
but none would be his muse

JAGG pondered and pondered
but never wandered
far from his empty lair.

missing the pleasure
of hair in his bed
tickling his fancy fair.

08-17-2013, 09:29 PM	#1
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Well, it's not working. I've done everything I know how to do. Prayed, asked forgiveness, meditated, cried, written letters, poetry, stories, dreamed a way out, a way back. Focused on moving out of my fantasy, hoped for best, expected nothing. And that's just what happened. Nothing. So I surrender to a power greater than myself. Love.

08-22-2013, 08:24 PM	#3
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I have been doing some soul searching lately. Although the Epiphany Fairy has been sitting on my head pointing things out to me, with gales of laughter, it's been at times pretty painful. It occurred to me the reason for discord and missed opportunity in my relationships is my beliefs, expectations, desire, and seeing failings in others that are simply reflections of my failures. I can only recognize many of my issues when someone else is brave enough to show them to me. Thank you, I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you, .....

09-07-2013, 08:37 AM	#4
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Looks like my dreams are over, the insulation is making no dent in the heat factor and there is no way I can live in it comfortably. It won't be protection for the cold either. My mosaic tile work has fallen off the risers. Putting radiant barrier on the windows did nothing to stop the heat build up. Farmers almanac says we are going to get a nasty cold winter here in the far south. I'm so screwed. Lol, and ... oh the hell with it. Why do I even bother posting about it? It's not like it matters to anyone but me. Okie dokie, gonna drive Grace to the storage unit and empty it out. Should be a great day to visit the er later today. I'll see you guys on the other side.

11-24-2013, 06:28 PM	#5
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Year five. Might as well be zero hour. I see her when I glance in the mirror. Soft brown peppered with white. pale flesh on tired bones. She died again last night. Every night for the last week. I resist the pull of my nest Resist the ache between my ribs. Centimeter from collapsing again. Ocean of tears pushing, against the levy protecting my broken heart. she loved me, she loved me not. i loved her, i loved her not.

12-05-2013, 05:52 PM	#6
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	[ame="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1604076631/ref=cm_sw_r_an_am_at_ws_us?ie=UTF8"]Freedom from Pain: Discover Your Body's Power to Overcome Physical Pain: Peter A. Levine, Maggie Phillips: 9781604076639: Amazon.com: Books[/ame]

12-06-2013, 08:08 PM	#7
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	there once was a honey named JAGG who hated all cats and their mew he wanted a Lady to shag but none would be his muse JAGG pondered and pondered but never wandered far from his empty lair. missing the pleasure of hair in his bed tickling his fancy fair.