The Femme Continuum: The "Highs" and "Lows" of Visibility

Licious · 09-03-2013, 02:04 AM

I am enjoying this thread.

I also find that there seems to be a load of expectations with the term femme. Like I can't have a sort of tomgirlie side who likes to dig in the organic garden, or I have to be in heels all the time, event though where I live, most femmie straight girls live in sandals and jeans, as I do. Like I have to keep my nails long even though they bug me when I type and so I tend to keep them shorter. And so forth.

Subscribing!

Gemme · 09-03-2013, 03:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

So just like any other gender, it does not dictate anything but an accent through which my body speaks.

Fucking love this.

Crow · 09-20-2013, 07:43 PM

I happen to find jeans as sexy as heels and a dress. Throw in a jigger of sassy with a beautiful smile and the skies the limit.

girl_dee · 07-15-2017, 05:44 PM

Low is that i feel extremely invisible in my new town here...

Femmewench · 08-31-2017, 10:12 AM

One of the reasons I enjoy being in the company of butches, and there are many, many reasons, is that I'm immediately identifiable as not-straight. I've been out to everyone I know except to one medical director I worked with who was an active rabid-church goer. People ask why we're so concerned with being out and Pride, etc. Part of it is that without that I will always be assumed to be straight.
I could be dressed head to toe in rainbow colors and all things identified as dyke/queer/butch even and I'm still read as straight. Holding a butch's hand immediately changes that. ~I wanna hold your hand.~

homoe · 08-31-2017, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crow

I happen to find jeans as sexy as heels and a dress. Throw in a jigger of sassy with a beautiful smile and the skies the limit.

A femme in jeans and heels is twice as sexy.......although not being a slave to fashion, I don't know if that's a fashion do or don't

Kätzchen · 08-31-2017, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by homoe

A femme in jeans and heels is twice as sexy.......although not being a slave to fashion, I don't know if that's a fashion do or don't

I prefer to take the advice offered by Sophia Loren:

homoe · 08-31-2017, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kätzchen

I prefer to take the advice offered by Sophia Loren:

Yes, that's nice too.............

DapperButch · 08-31-2017, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by homoe

A femme in jeans and heels is twice as sexy.......although not being a slave to fashion, I don't know if that's a fashion do or don't

I like a femme in jeans that hang low on her hips paired with a white tank top with spaghetti straps. It is just my thing for some reason.

I love a femme dressed up, as well. I like tasteful, sophisticated shoes with a bit of a heel paired with a dress.

I am always open to wearing what my partner finds attractive on me. In fact, I prefer to wear something they like (assuming I like it, as well).

MsTinkerbelly · 08-31-2017, 02:24 PM

As a femme, I am invisible until I am out with my Kasey.

The lows for me are the times I see family and would like to acknowledge them, but instead if I nod and smile I just come off as a middle aged straight woman trying to be pleasant. A definite low is when I am told by friend or stranger that it is "okay that you are gay"...like I asked them for their fucking approval!

The highs are the times I am out with my Kasey and we are acknowledged as family by couples or another butch. Or when we are treated as just another couple by Joe Q. Public. An example would be the couples dinner every month at our Church...it is announced the Sunday before that all couples of any kind are welcome to attend.

I have always felt privileged that I can take my "gayness off" should circumstances regarding my safety come up, but I also feel very guilty when I see or hear some of the shit Kasey takes from the public when they don't see me there.

DapperButch · 08-31-2017, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I like a femme in jeans that hang low on her hips paired with a white tank top with spaghetti straps. It is just my thing for some reason.

I love a femme dressed up, as well. I like tasteful, sophisticated shoes with a bit of a heel paired with a dress.

I am always open to wearing what my partner finds attractive on me. In fact, I prefer to wear something they like (assuming I like it, as well).

Dear femmes,

I am sorry for my post. I saw other butches posting, so I did not consider this thread is only for femmes. I just looked at the first post and saw that it is. Sorry!

homoe · 08-31-2017, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Dear femmes,

I am sorry for my post. I saw other butches posting, so I did not consider this thread is only for femmes. I just looked at the first post and saw that it is. Sorry!

Yes, what Dapper said .....so sorry!

MsTinkerbelly · 09-01-2017, 09:22 AM

I was thinking of this last night while I was awake at 3am...

I see a masculine leaning woman, and I wonder if she is gay. I see a feminine leaning woman and I NEVER wonder if she is gay. Is that because I am only attracted to butches and transmen, or is it because I am conditioned to see gender in only two ways? In my head, are people EITHER male or female without shades of gray?

Omg I never thought I had such a narrow view of gender. Maybe this is why the general public misses us (femmes), even if we drape ourselves in rainbows?

09-03-2013, 02:04 AM	#1
Licious Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Relationship Status: single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: California Posts: 686 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,502 Thanked 1,971 Times in 546 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I am enjoying this thread. I also find that there seems to be a load of expectations with the term femme. Like I can't have a sort of tomgirlie side who likes to dig in the organic garden, or I have to be in heels all the time, event though where I live, most femmie straight girls live in sandals and jeans, as I do. Like I have to keep my nails long even though they bug me when I type and so I tend to keep them shorter. And so forth. Subscribing! __________________ Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth. ~Rumi

08-31-2017, 10:12 AM	#5
Femmewench Member How Do You Identify?: Casual Femme Saphiosexual Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Relationship Status: Divorced Join Date: Aug 2017 Location: Albuquerque, NM Posts: 376 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,676 Thanked 1,269 Times in 330 Posts Rep Power: 10346603	One of the reasons I enjoy being in the company of butches, and there are many, many reasons, is that I'm immediately identifiable as not-straight. I've been out to everyone I know except to one medical director I worked with who was an active rabid-church goer. People ask why we're so concerned with being out and Pride, etc. Part of it is that without that I will always be assumed to be straight. I could be dressed head to toe in rainbow colors and all things identified as dyke/queer/butch even and I'm still read as straight. Holding a butch's hand immediately changes that. ~I wanna hold your hand.~ __________________ "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin

09-20-2013, 07:43 PM	#3
Crow Junior Member How Do You Identify?: lgbTq...the T...that's me Preferred Pronoun?: Mr. From my head down to my toes. Relationship Status: Sane Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: Toto we're not in Seattle anymore! Posts: 49 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 71 Thanked 196 Times in 43 Posts Rep Power: 2383964	I happen to find jeans as sexy as heels and a dress. Throw in a jigger of sassy with a beautiful smile and the skies the limit.

07-15-2017, 05:44 PM	#4
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Low is that i feel extremely invisible in my new town here...

08-31-2017, 02:24 PM	#10
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,901 Times in 5,017 Posts Rep Power: 0	As a femme, I am invisible until I am out with my Kasey. The lows for me are the times I see family and would like to acknowledge them, but instead if I nod and smile I just come off as a middle aged straight woman trying to be pleasant. A definite low is when I am told by friend or stranger that it is "okay that you are gay"...like I asked them for their fucking approval! The highs are the times I am out with my Kasey and we are acknowledged as family by couples or another butch. Or when we are treated as just another couple by Joe Q. Public. An example would be the couples dinner every month at our Church...it is announced the Sunday before that all couples of any kind are welcome to attend. I have always felt privileged that I can take my "gayness off" should circumstances regarding my safety come up, but I also feel very guilty when I see or hear some of the shit Kasey takes from the public when they don't see me there.

09-01-2017, 09:22 AM	#13
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,901 Times in 5,017 Posts Rep Power: 0	I was thinking of this last night while I was awake at 3am... I see a masculine leaning woman, and I wonder if she is gay. I see a feminine leaning woman and I NEVER wonder if she is gay. Is that because I am only attracted to butches and transmen, or is it because I am conditioned to see gender in only two ways? In my head, are people EITHER male or female without shades of gray? Omg I never thought I had such a narrow view of gender. Maybe this is why the general public misses us (femmes), even if we drape ourselves in rainbows?