PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Kimbo]

Princess4u, I also have body memories. It is horrible to have to relive the things we do. Mine have faded much through the years and the therapy but they still happen on occasion, especially, if I feel unsafe around someone. I also can have some serious reactions to smell and a few other things. Our senses are truly amazing and powerful.

It's a good thing when you are triggered like that and you didn't have a major reactions. Things do get better, no?

[Princess4u]

Originally Posted by Kimbo

Princess4u, I also have body memories. It is horrible to have to relive the things we do. Mine have faded much through the years and the therapy but they still happen on occasion, especially, if I feel unsafe around someone. I also can have some serious reactions to smell and a few other things. Our senses are truly amazing and powerful.

It's a good thing when you are triggered like that and you didn't have a major reactions. Things do get better, no?

I agree, our bodies are a great defense for our psychological protection. I just dread the physical pain it inflicts. It lasts for days even weeks. It is very painful. That is the hard part to endure, and I dont understand why it lasts so long. I really thought i was crazy...until all of you confirmed your own experiences. For decades I have thought I was a freak or something. There are triggers to it that I still havent pin pointed what they are. But endure is all I can do...it seems all I have a choice in doing. I have been to therapists in the years pasts, not very good ones...seems I was never a priority to them during my sessions. Which contibuted to my feeling like a freak and so insignificant. So none of these topics or issues where ever explained to me the way you have all described. So I thank you for that. I am not in a place to seek help, so I cope the best I can. Not that I would seek help most likely...for I dont feel anyone would want to help me. I have always just managed to survive one way or another. With a few leaps off the deep end here and there, if you know what I mean.

thank you all for you love and support and for understanding and most of all for making me feel less like an insignificant freak.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Jen,

Thank you. I needed that. This afternoon was very rough. Very rough.

Peace to you,
Andrew

So sorry your afternoon was hard, I hope today is better my friend!

Originally Posted by Princess4u

I didnt grow up in a religious family, I have searched in my heart for answers to my questions about God and the power of prayer. I think I do more talking to God than praying. Because in my experiences, when I have prayed, they have never been answered, when I have asked for something good, I usually was given bad, when I closed a door, I find myself alone in a black room without an exit. But yet I talk to God no asking, not praying but just talking. I have no expectations of our "conversation" other than I hope someone or something hears me because I have no one else to listen to my darkest fears and secrets. Perhaps its just my way of coping, I dont know. But I have no expectations of God or of prayer. What may be will be and I will just have to suck it up and deal with it as it comes. I dont know if that helps Andrew...its just my little way of making it minute by minute sometimes.

Love and Peace to you all...
Princess

You are not a freak. very time I get upset about something or even really stressed or angry, I am in pain for weeks, sometimes months depending. Even my skin hurts.

I burn Virgin Mary candles (and sage) when I am freaked out. I am not sure what I think about her as she relates to Catholicism, but for me it helps. Maybe it is being in touch with the Divine Feminine and the Earth? Or maybe it reminds me of my mother. I do know when I hear Ave Maria I always cry. Always.

Prayer? I think positive thinking never hurts. No matter what form it takes. So in that sense I do think it helps. I think we have to ask for things in a "Greater Good" kind of way, and we need to be careful what we ask for.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Jen and Princess,

Yes! You have to be very careful for what you ask for. The universe, God, your higher power is so willing and able to help. Sometimes in life when you least expect it, boom it happens. I believe in Karma, life cycles, and destiny. It is what it is.

For me, I know I have no expections in others. That way I won't be disappointed in people. Growing up I was constantly told that I was a failure by both of my parents. I never expected to be told positive reinforcements. Never. So, when I heard one it was like or or .

Another example, say someone wants to cross my boundaries and read my personal emails - go ahead. I have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing. I know who has, and who has not. I also know pretty much the "why" of it. I just think of that person as sad and I pity that person. Same category as my father (who is missing a cylinder or two). Same holds true for gossip, and the mud slinging that goes on. There is no need for it. But someone wants to have the upper hand, and be "superior". Go for it. In the end, that person has a very long fall to the ground. I have seen it happen time and time again, especially when dealing with the paranormal. Big time. Never wish for something or do something that you will one day regret. It is called the boomer-rang effect of Karma. What you do to one, you do to all type of thinking.

When my father went thru my room hunting for God knows what, he never found anything. So, he thought he would "beat" it out of me. I am not sure of what this accomplished. Now, if you saw my Dad, you would see an elderly, very weak and sick man. Not someone who would be able to hurt a fly. But when you are 4-5-6-or 7 yo your father looks huge.

I hope this makes sense. I feel for some reason I needed to post this. I am not too sure of why, but I just did.

Andrew

[Apocalipstic]

Oh Andrew, that totally makes sense, my father was the same way.

[DELSDAUGHTER]

i understand the body memory thing....
growing up i had a very abusive father until the age of nine....

when i was about 24 and had gotten my first apt....
i was sitting watching tv one evening and got a call from a strange woman that said she had someone on the other line that wanted to talk to me.

After a few seconds a mans voice came on the phone......it took me only a few seconds to realize it was my real father......my body/mind reacted instantly and i just fell to the ground hanging up in the same instance.....
It was like i was 8 years old all over again....fear, terror, sadness and all the feelings came rushing back......so yes i do believe that your body has the ability to react to memories....

another instance is when i was 12 i had an extremely high fever..with this fever came tunnel vision.....and to this day..when i see certain hole configurations...i get that same sick in my chest feeling as i did with that tunnel vision.

i know this is not as an instense situation as some have you have been thur but i can totally relate to the body reacxting to past situations..

[JustBeingMe]

Man, I wish I could tell you what's goin on but it's personal and this really isn't the appropriate place to vent it. It's just unbelievable that this crap is happening to me and how it's wrecking my life. I cannot understand (wrap my head around it) at all why I am having to go through this. I just know that it's caused me to have new anxiety and PTSD about it now. I wouldn't wish what I am going through on my worst enemy. Please just pray that the outcome will benefit me in a good way so that I can move on with my life, and take the steps toward making a new life for myself and get my life back on track. Thank you for making this thread available for us all.