Single FTM's & Femme's

[Princess4u]

Originally Posted by Gemme

For me, for the first date (especially if it's a blind date), I don't want them to know where I live. Too many *insert Psycho theme music here* types out there. Meeting at the restaurant is fine with me until I am more comfortable with them.

Ah, the car test. Well, don't fail the femme car test. As he walks around to his side of the car, lean over and unlock it for him and...if you can...push it open for him.

Well I suppose I was referring more to someone I have met in person. Not so sure I would do the blind date thing every again...too many bad experiences. Softness, I loved the dozen roses sent to the house before he arrived for the date...wow..I would love that style too!!

And but of course....is he opens my door...I would open his....it goes both ways ya know...its not all about him doing for her...its about mutual respect and giving as much as he does and visa versa....

As for the asking him for a date...wow...I have pondered that question...and to be honest..I know we should be more "with the times" but I am old fashioned and even more honestly...I wouldnt even know how, who, or what to ask! But I know that the fella feel just as uncomfortable as we do when asking someone out on a date. Much more to ponder on this topic for me at least.!!!

[Soft*Silver]

My style is not to ask the guy out. Instead, I might offer him a reason to come over. Maybe my light bulb needs changing in my overhead light. Don't laugh! I really cant do that on my own because I cant climb on step stools...I get quite dizzy. Or could he take down my storm windows? For his kindness I would insist upon making him dinner..his choice, whatever is his favorite meal. Or, maybe I would ask his opinion on something..like what kind of car tires I should buy or what computer system would be best for me. I might ask him to come along.... my purpose is t fohreeld: One: I must truly need these things so his help would indeed be beneficial to me and Two: it opens the door for him to consider spending more time with me if he so is inclined to want this and Three: Doing something small and industrial together gives me time to spend with him without the stress of it being a date. I get nervous on dates sometimes, so this helps.

ok...here is another question. Most of my family and friends know I am a lesbian. (Or something, not just conformingly straight.) So when i am out with a guy who happens to be FtM, and I run into someone, sometimes they are a bit shocked. Later they will ask me why I am dating a guy. And this puts me in a unusual quandry. The FtMs I have dated do not want to pass as men. They ARE men. Its not my place to explain his experience. Have you encountered this? How did you handle it? In my situations, I have just shrugged it off and said I am what I am no matter who I am with. In other words, I kept the focus on me and not on my date.

[Liam]

I am enjoying reading the posts.

[Soft*Silver]

Originally Posted by Liam

I am enjoying reading the posts.

I am enjoying you reading the posts....

[Soft*Silver]

For the guys:so the lady you are interested in, bumps into you at the store. You notice she has beets in her grocery cart...what could you say to her to engage her in conversation?

For the girls: you are in line at the bookstore and you see he has two magazines and a CD in his hand...go for it...tell me what you say as a opener?

[Princess4u]

Originally Posted by softness

My style is not to ask the guy out. Instead, I might offer him a reason to come over. Maybe my light bulb needs changing in my overhead light. Don't laugh! I really cant do that on my own because I cant climb on step stools...I get quite dizzy. Or could he take down my storm windows? For his kindness I would insist upon making him dinner..his choice, whatever is his favorite meal. Or, maybe I would ask his opinion on something..like what kind of car tires I should buy or what computer system would be best for me. I might ask him to come along.... my purpose is t fohreeld: One: I must truly need these things so his help would indeed be beneficial to me and Two: it opens the door for him to consider spending more time with me if he so is inclined to want this and Three: Doing something small and industrial together gives me time to spend with him without the stress of it being a date. I get nervous on dates sometimes, so this helps.

ok...here is another question. Most of my family and friends know I am a lesbian. (Or something, not just conformingly straight.) So when i am out with a guy who happens to be FtM, and I run into someone, sometimes they are a bit shocked. Later they will ask me why I am dating a guy. And this puts me in a unusual quandry. The FtMs I have dated do not want to pass as men. They ARE men. Its not my place to explain his experience. Have you encountered this? How did you handle it? In my situations, I have just shrugged it off and said I am what I am no matter who I am with. In other words, I kept the focus on me and not on my date.

I love those ideas and you are so right about taking the pressure off the ideal of a date...its just 2 simple folk coming together to solve a problem...and what a way to get to know someone.

As for the issue with the "why are you dating a guy?" I find that simply saying..." well, sometimes love isnt about the gender, but about the person." Tends to leave them in deep thought pondering different aspects of love and the GLTB life, not to mention their own deep seeded secrets of their "sexuality" just a thought.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by softness

For the girls: you are in line at the bookstore and you see he has two magazines and a CD in his hand...go for it...tell me what you say as a opener?

It depends on what his choices are, really. For example, if he has a tattoo magazine and/or I can see that he has ink, I could open with that. If he has the magazine, and it's not a sealed one, I could ask him if it's a good issue or what the theme of that issue is (a lot of them will do themes...b&w, greyscale, Asian, or portraits for example) or if I can see he has ink and it's in a spot that would be easy to show such as an arm band or wrist piece or neck piece, then I would offer a compliment to it and ask if I may see the full piece.

If he has a cd of a band I've never heard before, I could ask what genre they are and what he likes about them....so on and so forth.

For me, it's about the moment. I could plan a thousand things to say to someone or I could totally wing it. At that precise moment, I tend to go with the flow and his vibe and energy. Usually, unless I know you, I'm not going to pester you.

If I feel a loner vibe, then I may briefly speak with him, but I won't push it no matter what he is carrying. I engage just enough to let them that I exist. I'm not a chaser by nature, so much more than that makes me feel as if I am invading his territory and/or private space.

[Soft*Silver]

I am definetely not a chaser either. But I am friendly...and can approach just about anyone with a smile in my voice, when opportunity allows. Like you, the factors of the "moment" play a big part of it. I can talk to the person in the check out lane next to me about the Enquirer article at the magazine bin. Or the brand of coffee they are buying. They see I have 6 cases of wet dog food...and that usually gets people to look twice..so I smile and tell them I have a newf...which then opens LOTS of communications up...


You bring up tats. I LOVE to compare tats. I have two. But I love tats on others. And piercings. While I love alot of piercing and ear gauges, I havent dated anyone with alot of them. (I love what they mean to me...that the person has an adventuresome soul, a bit of non comforty, and a bold streak of exhibitionism.)

new question: you meet someone who you really find attractive...REALLY attractive..but they are dating someone else. But are open to dating you too. How do you feel about that?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by softness

new question: you meet someone who you really find attractive...REALLY attractive..but they are dating someone else. But are open to dating you too. How do you feel about that?

I want to hear from the person they are currently dating, even though people NEVER lie about their relationship status *eyeroll*. If THAT person tells me their relationship is open and/or poly and it's someone I am really interested in getting to know better, I would consider it. I'm not poly, but I think if all the stars were aligned just so, I would be open to that experience.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by softness

new question: you meet someone who you really find attractive...REALLY attractive..but they are dating someone else. But are open to dating you too. How do you feel about that?

this is one of the reasons I'm turned off about dating. the minute you go out with someone, they get dissed if you date other people. If I did date, i'd make it clear that it was casual with no serious intentions and that we are free to date other people. I don't like the feel of ball and chains.

[Soft*Silver]

the question I posed was about someone who was dating someone else....interesting enough, Gemme assumed they were in a relationship. And Jet addressed it as if they werent. I love it! This was exactly what I expected! Dating someone doesnt automatically mean they are in a relationship. And it doesnt give anyone sole "rights" to the other person.When I date, I simply date. Like Jet says, I dont want to feel the "ball and chains". I am up front when I date more than one person at a time. Dating is DATING..not committment. But once I reach the level of intimacy, all other dating stops and I date only that one person I am intimate with. I am ok with someone dating other people while they date me...as long as, like Gemme says, the other person is aware he is dating both of us. I would NOT date someone, no matter how attractive or appealing they are, if they were intimate with someone else. Just not ok in my book.

Next question: you are interested in someone online but see through the threads that another femme is hot on his trail. But you cant tell if he is interested in her. What do you do?

Originally Posted by Gemme

I want to hear from the person they are currently dating, even though people NEVER lie about their relationship status *eyeroll*. If THAT person tells me their relationship is open and/or poly and it's someone I am really interested in getting to know better, I would consider it. I'm not poly, but I think if all the stars were aligned just so, I would be open to that experience.

Originally Posted by Jet

this is one of the reasons I'm turned off about dating. the minute you go out with someone, they get dissed if you date other people. If I did date, i'd make it clear that it was casual with no serious intentions and that we are free to date other people. I don't like the feel of ball and chains.

[morningstar55]

ok im have a confession........... ehemm .......... i am a x dancer. errr well ( stripper heh) .. many yrs ago when i was young and skinny........ and this is one of my most favorite songs to dance too........ for someone special....
hope you guys enjoy it..........

[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJ5aNftth5I&feature=related"]YouTube- Joe Cocker - You Can Leave Your Hat On[/nomedia]