"Adult Only" or "Childless Weddings"

Sweet Bliss · 09-14-2013, 07:11 PM

I have never been to a wedding that was that fancy. I have only attended backyard weddings with friends and family. Not being a partier you could find me with infants and toddlers helping new moms.

I loved rocking them to sleep or reading stories. Always been good at calming fussy babes.

An invitation is just that. Not an edict. I would hope that not accepting would not be taken as a personal affront.

Peach · 09-14-2013, 08:03 PM

I've been to both formal, and informal, some with kids some with none. The day belongs to those getting married, their wishes need to be honored, bottom line. As a guest, its isnt my place to say what should or shouldnt be. I went to one, was told what to bring (it was a pot luck reception) how much of it, where to shop for the food....I was told what to wear, organic fibers only.......what gift to bring, with them guessing as to my income, how much to spend! I sent a card, wished them well, and stayed home.

imperfect_cupcake · 03-05-2018, 12:09 PM

Oh totally, my friends make WAY more trouble than kids.

Which is why the reception was an adult only area. We didn't say this explicitly, and we did have the massive room upstairs,s for the kids on the floor between the master bedroom level and the ground floor dinning, reception, and kitchen.

We basically did what our parents did in the 70s. Back then you brought your kids to the party, put them in the basement with whatever games was their favourite, and the 2 oldest bascially got stuck with keeping mind.

At ours no toddlers/babies stayed past the first course of the buffet. They went home with their 2 mums.

The kids played upstairs, occasionally relatively soberish parent would check in. Slowly people went back to hotels, couches, guest rooms, etc with children.

but the adult only was not because kids cause damage LOL - I have caused far more damage than a child, I'm sure, in my 20s and early 30s, but BECAUSE we get *rowdy*
And more than likely someone is going to get naked at some point, and dance around like an idiot with mash potatoes on their arse (*yawn*), we did have to kick someone out for not being able to handle the pot in Amsterdam, And more than likely because there was quite a few UK club folk there, some form of unmentionables would be happening by one or two in the loo at some point and depending on their resulting state they might be mild and amusing people or guerning idiots I'd have to send home.

It was very, very fun, it did get messy, I broke a horse crop over inks arse at one point, I believe.

So... I don't think Adult Only Space is about having children "wreck" things. But about having "adult time to do adult things that kids would find boring or disturbing."

kittygrrl · 03-05-2018, 03:04 PM

I think it is up to the bride & her parents with the groom consulted..since it is the brides parents who will bear most of the cost of the wedding traditionally..it is a thoughtful addition to the invitation to include children if your budget permits but it's not a given. I consider most weddings adult affairs, as a general rule, and if you have a problem it is, don't go. RSVP of course.

Mel C. · 03-05-2018, 07:06 PM

I attended an Adult-only ceremony last year. I thought it was completely within the bride and groom's rights to decide whether they want children present (with the knowledge some parents may not be able to attend or may choose not to attend if they feel their children are being left out).

BTW, a couple brought their kid (maybe 8 years old) despite the bride and groom's request. THAT was classless.

~ocean · 03-05-2018, 08:13 PM

There's a time and place and if it's an all adult event so be it ~ it should be respected !

03-05-2018, 03:04 PM	#4
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: just for fun Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,634 Thanked 22,019 Times in 7,121 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	I think it is up to the bride & her parents with the groom consulted..since it is the brides parents who will bear most of the cost of the wedding traditionally..it is a thoughtful addition to the invitation to include children if your budget permits but it's not a given. I consider most weddings adult affairs, as a general rule, and if you have a problem it is, don't go. RSVP of course. __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

03-05-2018, 08:13 PM	#6
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,018 Times in 4,724 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	There's a time and place and if it's an all adult event so be it ~ it should be respected ! __________________ ~ Always, ocean

09-14-2013, 07:11 PM	#1
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I have never been to a wedding that was that fancy. I have only attended backyard weddings with friends and family. Not being a partier you could find me with infants and toddlers helping new moms. I loved rocking them to sleep or reading stories. Always been good at calming fussy babes. An invitation is just that. Not an edict. I would hope that not accepting would not be taken as a personal affront.

09-14-2013, 08:03 PM	#2
Peach Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: happily married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: where my hat is Posts: 173 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 69 Thanked 640 Times in 129 Posts Rep Power: 5775547	I've been to both formal, and informal, some with kids some with none. The day belongs to those getting married, their wishes need to be honored, bottom line. As a guest, its isnt my place to say what should or shouldnt be. I went to one, was told what to bring (it was a pot luck reception) how much of it, where to shop for the food....I was told what to wear, organic fibers only.......what gift to bring, with them guessing as to my income, how much to spend! I sent a card, wished them well, and stayed home.

03-05-2018, 12:09 PM	#3
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Oh totally, my friends make WAY more trouble than kids. Which is why the reception was an adult only area. We didn't say this explicitly, and we did have the massive room upstairs,s for the kids on the floor between the master bedroom level and the ground floor dinning, reception, and kitchen. We basically did what our parents did in the 70s. Back then you brought your kids to the party, put them in the basement with whatever games was their favourite, and the 2 oldest bascially got stuck with keeping mind. At ours no toddlers/babies stayed past the first course of the buffet. They went home with their 2 mums. The kids played upstairs, occasionally relatively soberish parent would check in. Slowly people went back to hotels, couches, guest rooms, etc with children. but the adult only was not because kids cause damage LOL - I have caused far more damage than a child, I'm sure, in my 20s and early 30s, but BECAUSE we get rowdy And more than likely someone is going to get naked at some point, and dance around like an idiot with mash potatoes on their arse (yawn), we did have to kick someone out for not being able to handle the pot in Amsterdam, And more than likely because there was quite a few UK club folk there, some form of unmentionables would be happening by one or two in the loo at some point and depending on their resulting state they might be mild and amusing people or guerning idiots I'd have to send home. It was very, very fun, it did get messy, I broke a horse crop over inks arse at one point, I believe. So... I don't think Adult Only Space is about having children "wreck" things. But about having "adult time to do adult things that kids would find boring or disturbing."

03-05-2018, 07:06 PM	#5
Mel C. Long-time Member How Do You Identify?: WIB - woman identified butch Preferred Pronoun?: Your choice...not really a button for me Relationship Status: ♡ married 1/1/2019♡ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: San Diego Posts: 2,149 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,772 Thanked 6,828 Times in 1,621 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I attended an Adult-only ceremony last year. I thought it was completely within the bride and groom's rights to decide whether they want children present (with the knowledge some parents may not be able to attend or may choose not to attend if they feel their children are being left out). BTW, a couple brought their kid (maybe 8 years old) despite the bride and groom's request. THAT was classless.