Things you should never say on a date.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

I'm sure there is nothing wrong with coffee enemas if you are into them, but I don't think you should just go there on the first date.

You keep disturbing those around me by making me laugh. This time it was just the cats. But still. Think before you cause folks to guffaw.

[Martina]

About five years ago, my mom fixed me up. That should have been the red flag right there. Anyway, this butch and I were to go on a date at Christmas time when I visited my mom and dad in Florida. So she starts calling in October. And calling and calling. When she said, "Now I have something to look forward to," that was it. I told her honestly that it was too many calls. And I was dating anyway. When I got home that Christmas, she had sent a centerpiece to my parents. Flowers and piney stuff. She called one more time, and I gently said no.

But implying that a date with a stranger gives you a reason to go on . . . uh no. Not a good idea.

I met her ex, a neighbor of my mother's. And she seems cool. But perhaps she is an ex for a reason.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by Martina

You keep disturbing those around me by making me laugh. This time it was just the cats. But still. Think before you cause folks to guffaw.

LOL.

Although I still believe a first date is too soon to discuss the possibility of putting things up someone's anus, unless of course you met them on an enema play site, it wasn't so much the invitation that was disturbing as the timing. It appeared like she actually thought it was an acceptable, even a logical jumping off point. That it was the epitome of etiquette to invite someone for a coffee enema when they ask you if you would like a cup of coffee. I think if she would have just asked how I felt about recreational enemas during some lull in the conversation I would not have been quite so unsettled. There still wouldn't have been a second date in our future because if enemas are so important to you that you must bring them up on a first date I will be nothing but a huge disappointment to you. Best to end it now.

[Redsunflower]

How have I not seen this thread before?? It's hysterical!

A favourite first date one liner said to me...

'Could you not find a jacket to match your dress then?'

Cheeky git, I looked way hot.

And this...

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

LOL.

Although I still believe a first date is too soon to discuss the possibility of putting things up someone's anus, unless of course you met them on an enema play site, it wasn't so much the invitation that was disturbing as the timing. It appeared like she actually thought it was an acceptable, even a logical jumping off point. That it was the epitome of etiquette to invite someone for a coffee enema when they ask you if you would like a cup of coffee. I think if she would have just asked how I felt about recreational enemas during some lull in the conversation I would not have been quite so unsettled. There still wouldn't have been a second date in our future because if enemas are so important to you that you must bring them up on a first date I will be nothing but a huge disappointment to you. Best to end it now.

Miss Tick you are priceless.

x

[cinnamongrrl]

Idk if I mentioned..

I had gone to get a drink for my "date" and I ...down a bleacher and what felt like a mile to concessions and waited in line....

A little later the popcorn in the stadium (twas a roller derby bout) was smelling super good... I turned to my "date" and told her I wanted popcorn and she said..well go on get you some!

Smh

[imperfect_cupcake]

Just out of curiosity, how do you talk about your experiences, travels, journeys and adventures you've had without mentioning your exes???? Do I just pretend I did them all on my own or... ?

[Gráinne]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

Just out of curiosity, how do you talk about your experiences, travels, journeys and adventures you've had without mentioning your exes???? Do I just pretend I did them all on my own or... ?

I usually say something like "I went basket weaving in Burma" without adding "...and my ex was there". Not that I've had all that many ex's, or that there's much story to tell, but especially on early dates, I tend to leave that off unless asked. Past relationships seem to come up as a new interest is getting "serious", in my experience (such as it is).

[imperfect_cupcake]

I guess that just seems wierd to me.
I don't say "I went to Guatemala"
I'm usually telling a story about something that actually happened. Like "when I was living Guatemala, there was this little girl named Maria age 10 who used to come and sell us breckfast, I often spent my breckfast with her and James did these cool little poitraits of her that she loved so she'd give me help with learning how to work the wood clay oven. Maria was a sharp little girl. You should have seen her face when she saw me using a machete. She rolled her eyes at me. She would up teaching both of us because James was worse than me. But now I can say I was taught how to use a machete by a 10 year old girl!"

Or I'll tell the story about how james and I went up the local volcano to get mescal spikes off the cacti and all the things that happened. And when I came back, James carved a little head into one and I used to put it through my tongue piercing hole to scare the little kids that used to play on our hammock for fun, but they were never scared, they just rolled their eyes at the gringo.

If I left the other person out of that story to make someon else feel comfortable and retell it like I was alone...? That seems really fucked up.

It seems misleading and bizarre to leave out the fact in that story my ex was with me.
Are people so delicate that the mere mention that I've had relationships and lovers and sex partners before them going to upset them?

I've only had two people out of many ever get upset that I've talked about exes. One wound up being extremely controlling and I wasn't allowed to bring up any male ex at all in a story (I was bisexual from 14-25) so I actually had to change them or not tell them. And the other had pretty heavy social anxiety and was very insecure about any and all of my exes. They were nervous I was comparing them to my exes and I finally broke things off because it made me nuts.

I've been dating, having sex partners and romantic partners since I was 14. I am 45. Most of my life have had other people in it. Most of my traveling and living involved other people. If it's ok to say I went to Berma with a friend there, and it's not ok to say I went to see a temple with someone I was having sex with and tell the story.... But I have to leave them out simply because our relationship included sex? Or maybe sex and romance? But it's ok to mention someone I *wasnt* having sex with? Even though the story has *no* sex in it??? That seems kinda fucked up and pretty weird. and frankly catering to someone's ideas about purity - like I've never been with someone before.

I've personally never had that problem on dates. And if someone asks me to not mention them, a red flag goes up for me about insecurity.

But perhaps it's because I love story exchange. Telling stories is how I communicate. It would seem like a bizzare lie of omission to tell it wrong. And the main reason I am with someone for company is to hear their stories. Their ideas. Their life. Hearing about their lovers and exes and play partners is just part of who they are for me. It's all people and experiences who made them who they are now. Leaving information out just because you had sex with that person seems pretty random to my mind.