Things you should never say on a date.

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

I had forgotten this. This date was years ago, I mean years, when I still dated men. A friend fixed me up with her boyfriend’s cousin. We all went to the beach and I guess things were going along okay until the guy starts telling me how great he is at holding his breath. I’m like okay wonderful.

He keeps going on about it. So I offer to watch him (I figure guys like that) or time him (I know little kids love it when you time their exploits, maybe he does too.) I’m struggling cause truthfully I don’t really know what he wants me to do with this information. I’m thinking so you can hold your breath for a long time, it’s not the most useful talent in the world unless you are a free diver or dive for abalone or something.

Apparently the point is to dazzle us with his ability by challenging us to a breath-holding contest and beating us badly. He wants us all to go in the water, dive down around the rocks, grab on and stay down as long as we can. I’m thinking to myself, I hope this guy can really hold his breath a long time or he’s gong to be very disappointed. I love snorkeling and often do a bit of free diving when I’m out because it allows me to go down deeper and get a closer look around and I can seriously hold my breath. I try to tell the guy this, just letting him know that I might have an unfair advantage cause of all the breath holding practice I’ve had. He’s not impressed and isn’t having any of it. He thinks I’m trying to psyche him out or something.

Anyway off we go, I dive down grab a rock and a seat and I don’t come up until I really have to. I have no idea how much I beat him by, although my friend told me later it was a painfully long time. He was so pissed off he didn’t even look at me the rest of what became a rather truncated version of an afternoon at the beach. He just hung out with his cousin until we left. As he’s getting in his car he turns to me and says “Just a word of advice, guys don’t like it when you try to act like you are better than them. You really should act more like a girl.” I so wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I said “And you think acting like a girl would prevent someone from being better than you are? Anyway I don’t have to act like I’m better than you, that’s for sure.” I never saw him again. And that was too soon. Asshole. Thank god I figured out I'm a butch and I love femmes. That worked out ever so much better. Not that straight guys have cornered the market in what not to say on a first date. As this thread aptly illustrates.

This went in an entirely different direction than I expected. I actually thought the stupid boy was trying to impress you with his mighty breath-holding powers because it had something to do with cunnilingus prowess.

I guess I'm just used to hanging around with lesbians. Silly me.

[macele]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

This went in an entirely different direction than I expected. I actually thought the stupid boy was trying to impress you with his mighty breath-holding powers because it had something to do with cunnilingus prowess.

I guess I'm just used to hanging around with lesbians. Silly me.

Cheryl, you are not alone. my mind went there.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

This went in an entirely different direction than I expected. I actually thought the stupid boy was trying to impress you with his mighty breath-holding powers because it had something to do with cunnilingus prowess.

I guess I'm just used to hanging around with lesbians. Silly me.

Had he won he might have gone there, who knows, but since I could hold my breath longer than he could, it lost the power to impress in any capacity. But I never noticed that my ability to hold my breath for long periods of time actually played that important a role in my cunnilingus prowess. I hope I’m doing it right.

[macele]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

Had he won he might have gone there, who knows, but since I could hold my breath longer than he could, it lost the power to impress in any capacity. But I never noticed that my ability to hold my breath for long periods of time actually played that important a role in my cunnilingus prowess. I hope I’m doing it right.

i'm gonna go with its just an ole lesbian saying lol. but now being able to extend can make a better love lover. i hyper extended once, though. but i was a freshman and out of my mind.

[Chancie]

"If I wore a short dress, a wig, and some Lee Press Ons, I bet I'd get more sympathy after my last breakup."

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by macele

i'm gonna go with its just an ole lesbian saying lol. but now being able to extend can make a better love lover. i hyper extended once, though. but i was a freshman and out of my mind.

huh. interesting. we did a contest in school with holding breaths, a class of 50, last term. I won. by a chunk of time. And I know I've got skillz. so maybe they *are* related??

I certainly know I've had to hold my breath at points in time for it...

Chancie: wow. what bell-end. that's spectacular....

"I think I hooked up with your friend"
um. that would probably be me too... but I think I'd keep that to myself to a few more dates in....

[Cin]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

huh. interesting. we did a contest in school with holding breaths, a class of 50, last term. I won. by a chunk of time. And I know I've got skillz. so maybe they *are* related??

I certainly know I've had to hold my breath at points in time for it...

That makes sense and I don't think I processed what an inability to hold one's breath for an adequate amount of time might mean. Probably because I never notice any strain holding my breath for extended points in time. I never have any difficulty getting all the air I need. There's always a whole lot of action and breathing just happens naturally for me in between moves (and I like to think some of them are signature.) But it does stand to reason that being able to hold one's breath for a long period of time can only be a good thing.

More than enough from me on this subject I think.

And I don't know when it's going to finally become clear to me that I need to leave the humor to the professionals.
I'm just not very funny.

(But at least there's no barking involved this time.)

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

That makes sense and I don't think I processed what an inability to hold one's breath for an adequate amount of time might mean. Probably because I never notice any strain holding my breath for extended points in time. I never have any difficulty getting all the air I need. There's always a whole lot of action and breathing just happens naturally for me in between moves (and I like to think some of them are signature.) But it does stand to reason that being able to hold one's breath for a long period of time can only be a good thing.

More than enough from me on this subject I think.

And I don't know when it's going to finally become clear to me that I need to leave the humor to the professionals.
I'm just not very funny.

(But at least there's no barking involved this time.)

You did NOT just say that! ha!!

[*Anya*]

I have a million of them...

The woman who told me she was mainly attracted to Latin women,

as I sat there, being a Caucasian woman and all.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

You did NOT just say that! ha!!

Of course I didn't say that.

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

Had he won he might have gone there, who knows, but since I could hold my breath longer than he could, it lost the power to impress in any capacity. But I never noticed that my ability to hold my breath for long periods of time actually played that important a role in my cunnilingus prowess. I hope I’m doing it right.

Umm, uhh... perhaps someone with first hand knowledge would like to weigh in on this?

[Cin]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

Umm, uhh... perhaps someone with first hand knowledge would like to weigh in on this?

LOL! That's okay thanks. It was just a rhetorical question.

I have no problem holding my breath but I don't find it all that necessary for cunnilingus longevity. Thank goodness because I can hold my breath for a long time but not for hours.

[DMW]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

Had he won he might have gone there, who knows, but since I could hold my breath longer than he could, it lost the power to impress in any capacity. But I never noticed that my ability to hold my breath for long periods of time actually played that important a role in my cunnilingus prowess. I hope I’m doing it right.

He did win...he was just too full of ego and not enough smarts to figure it out.
What a dolt!
Glad I could come back and edit.
You know what? Even if you could hold your breath longer (with smaller lung
capacity even )..forgettabout sex remarks. You won in the competition
of not having to spend another minute with smh...serious ***kwad.

[DMW]

Originally Posted by DMW

He did win...he was just too full of ego and not enough smarts to figure it out.
What a dolt!
Glad I could come back and edit.
You know what? Even if you could hold your breath longer (with smaller lung
capacity even )..forgettabout sex remarks. You won in the competition
of not having to spend another minute with smh...serious ***kwad.

I gotta say something more...it bothers me.
Ok..he obviously didn't have anything in between his legs worth holding your breath for.
Or between his ears or inside his chest.

I really can't stand that mentality.