How Do You Self-Identify...and why.

[Scots_On_The_Rocks]

As I answered in the "Butch Pronouns - A Questionaire" thread:

Originally Posted by Scots_On_The_Rocks

I chose to answer only the following question as that based upon my answer to it, all other questions seem to be answered by proxy.

So here is the question I referenced and my answer.

1. How do you identify?

This is an interesting question.

The need within the queer community to quantify and validate our existence and identities into neat, organized categories, has caused us to label things to the point that we have become some long string of pronouns, adjectives and nouns. And oft we are touting off this diatribe of words to people who have stopped listening after the first two words of our identity, where we are striving through words to be seen as "different, unique, and new".

Sadly, language is both evolving and stagnating to the point that people still fall through the cracks between descriptors.

And that is where I fall into this.

There are no descriptors that I feel accurately describe me without my having fallen into the "alphabet soup" and come out covered in layer upon layer of adjectives.

So, oft, "for the sake of conversation", I momentarily don the name-tag of "male-identified butch", and then promptly take it off after introductions are made, because it is my actions that determine who I am, not a string of ill-fitting words.

And due to this aforementioned need to quantify and validate that is so rampant within the queer community, I refrain from throwing gender based monikers around when referring to others in that:

1. People tend to get rather defensive and aggressive around mis-usage of the "proper" descriptors of their choice.

2. I want to be as effectively respectful of others as I possibly can in the hopes that they in turn will respect my gender expression, gender identity, and gender preference.

[TruTexan]

First of all I'm just me. Next would be that I was born butch, I claim it, I walk it, talk it, etc. etc. There's nothing feminine about me and never has been, ever. So I am just being me, who happens to be a butch woman that is a lesbian at heart. Lesbian because it's the first self Identifier in my years of first coming out and it fits me just as snug as butch does.

[Tuff Stuff]

To strangers,i'm a stone butch.With my wife,she gets to play.. and it's different each time.

[Kätzchen]

I identify as Femme (my gender). And, for the longest time, I refused to speak about my sexual identity, which my sexual identity is bisexual, by nature: But because most people I've encountered in life tend to have internalized stereotyped beliefs about my type of sexual identity, I've not been very public about it socially, UNLESS it involves talking about it in unvarnished ways and in terms which, in my life experience, has not always been easy for other people to understand.

What's important to me is that my gender and sexual identity is not up for debate (full stop).

For example, one type of stereotype I encounter is that people think that those who claim bisexual identity is that bisexual individuals sleep with every proverbial 'Tom, Dick or Harry'.
I'm living proof that I don't sleep around, nor have I had an outrageous list of anonymous sexual encounters. In fact, it's the opposite for me. I've only had a handful (or less) of romantic partners. Another fact about me is that I don't like partnering with anyone who practices BDSM. Another fact about me is that I am not polyarmorous either. In fact, I'm monogamous in my romantic and sexual proclivities.

I'm Femme......and I'm fierce. Fierce in my identity and fierce about who I am.

[lisa93]

femme lesbian

[JDeere]

Butch Asshole and trust me my friends who have known me for 10 plus years will tell you, it fits me!

[RockOn]

I am a stone butch extrovert who has intentionally cloned myself into the disguise of a stone butch introvert ... introvert works better for me in real life ... attention can be a burden ... my trust in the human race has fallen by the wayside ...this deliberate self-assigned introvert status seems (for me) to employ more of a type of indescribable peace within, decreases emotional liabilities ... another added feature -->> it lessens confusion and the tiresome task of trying to read people in the sense of noticing how their words match their actions because there lies the real truth --->> words vs. actions ...do they match??

I am far happier now than I have ever been in my life.

It is here! Happy Friday!

[Ascot]

I've always liked dyke. (and dykes) There's something almost old fashioned about it, and that it's been hurled as an epithet also holds appeal. I suppose it's that ol' reclamation thing. Lesbian has always sounded a bit clinical to me. I've no issue with anyone else using it, but in reference to myself, not so much. When I was a lot younger I guess used it mostly owing to my limited vernacular, and switched to dyke as comfort within my own queer skin grew. I also like queer a lot because it's broad. I'm gay, I'm strange, sometimes I think I'm a bit of a gay man. It fits. Of course there's also Butch, but I think I'm more selective in the use of that one. In this community there's no explanation needed. Out there ---> I don't always feel like having to explain it. I might say something like, "It's a good thing I'm butchy because with feet this big I'd have to shop where drag queens do, and all my shoes would be 6" patent leather stilletos". Most nonqueer people can figure that out contextually.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Ascot

I've always liked dyke. (and dykes) There's something almost old fashioned about it, and that it's been hurled as an epithet also holds appeal. I suppose it's that ol' reclamation thing. Lesbian has always sounded a bit clinical to me. I've no issue with anyone else using it, but in reference to myself, not so much. When I was a lot younger I guess used it mostly owing to my limited vernacular, and switched to dyke as comfort within my own queer skin grew. I also like queer a lot because it's broad. I'm gay, I'm strange, sometimes I think I'm a bit of a gay man. It fits. Of course there's also Butch, but I think I'm more selective in the use of that one. In this community there's no explanation needed. Out there ---> I don't always feel like having to explain it. I might say something like, "It's a good thing I'm butchy because with feet this big I'd have to shop where drag queens do, and all my shoes would be 6" patent leather stilletos". Most nonqueer people can figure that out contextually.

i feel the same way about *dyke*. i get in the broad spectrum lesbian is the label but i never resonated. i love calling myself an old dyke. Dyke feels rebellious!

i also claim queer. It’s another old school term that had a negative connotaion that i love .

being able to be who we are here under a big umbrella is quite nice.

[indigo]

"queer femme" resonates best with my self-awareness, exploration and life experiences so far.