Top Surgery for Butches: Have you thought about it?

[Cin]

BullDog mentioned wondering if there would be an issue with a surgeon if one was not FTM. I too have wondered that and also never checked into it because I would never be able to afford to pay for an elective surgery. I have thought about the medical options that might let a doctor sign off on it as it would be free in Montreal. But breast reduction, if I could convince the doctor the girls gave me a back ache or something, is all I could ever come up with.

I keep thinking I've made my peace with them but then something happens to trigger me and I'm back to hating them. I vacillate between hatred and tolerance. Poor things never get any love from me. Or anyone else if I can help it. I am not stone but I really can't stand to have them touched. Well at the last moment, but the timing has to be right on the money. Including them in the process is just a lot of effort, best to forget about them.

I also feel guilty about not being able to reconcile my feelings about my breasts. I think it's easy to confuse it for wanting to be male. I don't want to be male. For me it has nothing to do with not wanting to be feminized either. I am perfectly happy being a woman as long as I can be the kind of woman that I am comfortable with. And that kind of woman just doesn't like her breasts. They spoil the look of my clothes sometimes. I get all dressed up and think I must look pretty awesome and then I look in the mirror and it's like a slap in the face. I'm like what the fuck are they doing there.

I doubt I will ever have top surgery unless I win the lottery or something. But I do think about how much more comfortable I would be in my body if I could.

[whale]

I have thought about it but then I think about my future life as a parent and I want to breastfeed so there's where I stop thinking about it.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by whale

I have thought about it but then I think about my future life as a parent and I want to breastfeed so there's where I stop thinking about it.

I am not certain, but I think you still may be able to breast feed if you got the peri-areolar or keyhole method. There are no free nipple grafts involved in those procedures, which is the issue with breast feeing. That surgery is only for people who are A cups or VERY small B cups, however.

I think you are smart to pause and try to not let any gender/body dysphoria you may have result in making a decision that could impact your long term life plans. That can be hard to do when we are uncomfortable in our bodies.

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ETA: To late to add to my post before this one and do not want to post yet another. I wanted to add that Obamacare does not cover the surgery, either.

[Kobi]

I am considering breast reduction, (not chest surgery) for neck, shoulder, back issues.

I say breast reduction because I am a female butch who does not have congruency issues between my gender and my body. I like my parts just fine.

Insurance does cover the surgery for medical reasons like the above, or GERD, or familiar breast cancer and such. It is worth investigating your insurance for coverage, but, be sure to focus on medical not body issues.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by Kobi

I am a female butch who does not have congruency issues between my gender and my body. I like my parts just fine.

That must be nice. I have tried not to have congruency issues because it doesn’t match my idea of who I am as a butch lesbian feminist who is, always has been and always will be a woman aligned with other women in struggle against patriarchy and misogyny. But I can’t deny that my vision of who I am when I imagine myself does not have female breasts.

I like the rest of my body parts just fine though. But the breasts just don't cut it for me. And they often spoil my fashion statement. Making myself put up with them is about the best I can do. I will never be happy with them.

The feeling is a little similar to the one I have surrounding Miss Tick, the name I chose when I joined the Planet. I didn’t think I wanted to use darkgazer, the name I used on the dash site and I thought it might be good for my woman aligned feminist conscience to have a clearly female nic. It sounded good on paper, but I cringe every time I see it and realize hey, that’s me. I don’t like that I feel that way. I don’t like the implications because I don’t believe what is indicated by those implications is a reality for me, even if it seems to be implied (I wrote it and even I am having trouble following this sentence.)

Yet, if there are no implied implications then there is no logical reason for those feelings. Yet here they are.

Wishing for congruity but not even getting logic.

I am a woman, a she, a female and happy to be so, but I don’t like my breasts and I’m not crazy about my name on the planet. Feelings don’t have to make sense. But for the foreseeable future I will keep them both. Or should I say keep them all since it’s two breasts and one name?

[macele]

as a child, i didn't want those things at all! i wanted to be shirtless, happy, and playing with boys. i often thought i'd make a better boy than girl. it took me a lot of time to sort it all out. and then i learned that i am my kind of girl/woman. i'm ok with having breasts. just not this size lol. i am for sure having a reduction some time next year. and that will make me happy to have breasts, not just ok.

but i totally understand what you all are saying. i hope that you all can get what you want. truly. from the bottom of my heart and to the top and sides and all the in betweens, i wish you all happiness.

excellent topic. thank you, Miss Tick.

if i may ask, you won't hurt my feelings if it's private, ... why don't you change your nic name?

[Cin]

Originally Posted by macele

if i may ask, you won't hurt my feelings if it's private, ... why don't you change your nic name?

You certainly may ask. Unfortunately I don't think I have an answer that makes sense. It has to do with not feeding into my feelings surrounding a feminine sounding title like Miss for myself. I know I chose it but I didn't expect to feel the way I do. I thought it was a cool name. And I still do, but not for me. Why I won't change it is because I am trying to move past these unfortunate feelings.

Or maybe I'm just crazy and I over think everything.

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

You certainly may ask. Unfortunately I don't think I have an answer that makes sense. It has to do with not feeding into my feelings surrounding a feminine sounding title like Miss for myself. I know I chose it but I didn't expect to feel the way I do. I thought it was a cool name. And I still do, but not for me. Why I won't change it is because I am trying to move past these unfortunate feelings.

Or maybe I'm just crazy and I over think everything.

Miss Tick- I respect your choices. They're yours to make. That said, I'm sorry you don't feel free to choose a name that you feel would suit you better. Butch women can and do honour their femaleness and females/women everywhere in many ways. Butch women have been at the forefront in our feminist struggles. The increases we've had in gender equality, though not nearly large enough, would not have come about at all without the tireless efforts of butch women who are dedicated feminists. That could be considered selfless activism since the benefits of those moves towards equality often don't reach butches who face a higher level of discrimination just because of how they present. Moreover, butches continually find themselves in harm's way simply by walking in the world as unabashed masculine women in a culture where hyper-femininity in women is overvalued, and the mere existence of female masculinity is considered a direct threat to men. By walking out in the world as the masculine woman that you are, you give women everywhere more freedom to present in the ways that feel right for them. Would I be overcooking this if I said that I think your existence is a daily service to women everywhere? I do feel that way, even if it seems corny.

I think you have enough trouble. This environment at bfp is supposed to be fun and welcoming. Please consider making yourself more comfortable. No one will judge you for it.

Unless you start calling yourself Dudley Do-Right. Then we'll all laugh.

[BullDog]

I am happy femmes are participating in here as well. I would also love to have any trans guys or anyone else here who wants to share their experiences, info or insights with butches considering top surgery.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

Unless you start calling yourself Dudley Do-Right. Then we'll all laugh.

Thank you for everything you said. i really appreciate it.

You're right it is supposed to be fun and welcoming. I should allow myself to be more comfortable. I'll probably go back to darkgazer. Or maybe I'll come up with something new.

But Dudley Do-Right is off the table.

[macele]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

You certainly may ask. Unfortunately I don't think I have an answer that makes sense. It has to do with not feeding into my feelings surrounding a feminine sounding title like Miss for myself. I know I chose it but I didn't expect to feel the way I do. I thought it was a cool name. And I still do, but not for me. Why I won't change it is because I am trying to move past these unfortunate feelings.

Or maybe I'm just crazy and I over think everything.

i like Boston. i'm going to start calling you Boston. yeah, and you better answer! LOL

[Cin]

Originally Posted by macele

i like Boston. i'm going to start calling you Boston. yeah, and you better answer! LOL

LOL! That's funny cause years ago when I first posted on the dash site, like 1999 I think it was, I had the nic boston butch. I wandered away and when I came back somebody else had it. I live in Canada now, but Montreal Butch just doesn't have the same ring to it. I'm thinking maybe Titty Baby.

Sorry for the derail.

[imperfect_cupcake]

About half of my partners - who were absolutely fine with being female - thought about it. usually reduction and not removal. just going down to an A cup. Very small. I said "well, I had mine lifted when I was 25 and felt *way* better for it. I'd do it again if I could..."

people get tattoos and bolts put through their penises, so I told them to get the reduction to as small as they wanted. I got mine fixed and tightened up 20 years ago. why shouldn't it be ok to do it the way they want, aesthetically?