Friends of Bill W.

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 22


Canine Comprehension

I wonder what it is that the dog knows. True love, quantum physics, the ratio of lift to thrust required to make the ball fly, how food shared from my plate is better than food from her bowl. This begs the next question. What do I really know; song lyrics, nursery rhymes, old scores from old grudges? What I hope I have learned; is the space it takes to keep an open mind, the willingness required to make a real change, and the width, depth and breath of honest affection. If I haven’t learned these things I will put them at the top of my list of things to do. Because I believe I can teach this old dog a few new tricks.


Not all friends are friendly
*


CONTROL

I have everything in the world but control
And yet it seems to be the only thing I yearn for.
Past history has made it difficult for me to have faith
And I have clung to scraps of control as in alternative.

I have hope but I have hope in a way
A disgruntled gambler has hope.
The horse may cross the finish line first
But it’s a long shot.

This is the trouble with control, if I could ride the horse
I might be able to exert some sway in the situation
But since my jockeying would only make things worse
My inability to secure the outcome leads me to despair.

And here I am, I am not in the race
I will not risk betting on the horse.
I have no skill accepting the capricious nature of life
And work hard not to be capricious myself.

This may be the crux of my problem
I work so hard to do things right instead of having fun.
I try constantly to keep things from going badly
I focus no time on creating joy in my life.

I may not believe much
But I do believe God wants me happy.
This could be the seed---which starts faith.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 23


Jacks

Born crazy, is that better than becoming deranged? Do birth affects excuse my unrepentant glee? Does irrepressible sardonic wit explain the order of restless exposition? Can you count on Cicadic enthusiasm to carry me, or flightless fancy to keep me down? I am beyond redemption, beyond reception, beyond device. I arrived riddled with chaotic cracks, but I am more than just a glaze and deep down I’m more than sound, so walk with my wild side and your thoughts I’ll rearrange.



When you can’t fill the void, wallpaper

*

BEFORE THE END OF THE ROAD

Before the end of the road tiny stone lay on the side
Freshly painted lines glimmer in this twilight trance.
Walking the macadam, the crunch underfoot
Changes my perspective.

No steering wheel or accelerator
This is ankle express all the way.
Walking the road , step by step, on my own
I am part of the soft and growing world.
Progressing on a plan of separate integrity

Moist, lush wonder, is missed
By the motor speedway I let rule my life
Honeyed sweetness covers the vegetation
Swaying in the undulating air born pulse.

I am tempted to lie down and have a roll
But my role tonight is to reach the end of the road.
When my goal is achieved I may choose
A woodland life or an urban endeavor.

Seeing the end of this path is job enough for now.
Decisions anticipated prior to arrival
Are foolish diversions.
I need to stay, not stray with the dancers in the wind.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[purepisces]

My name is Melissa and I'm an alcoholic. My last drink was March 11, 2008. My sobriety date is March 25, 2010, which was the day I went to my first meeting.

Today I wanted nothing more than to stop and pick up a bottle of Jack Daniels and let it take away the heavy emptiness that I'm drowning in right now. How the heck emptiness can feel heavy is beyond me. But, I didn't stop. I came home and played with my dogs. And I wait for the feelings to pass. I've learned that they do pass, if I'll just give it time and feel whatever it is that I'm feeling. I don't have to solve anything today.

Thank you, Sherry, for this thread and for your help 3.5 years ago when I had no idea that life didn't have to be an endless struggle.

Originally Posted by purepisces

My name is Melissa and I'm an alcoholic. My last drink was March 11, 2008. My sobriety date is March 25, 2010, which was the day I went to my first meeting.

Today I wanted nothing more than to stop and pick up a bottle of Jack Daniels and let it take away the heavy emptiness that I'm drowning in right now. How the heck emptiness can feel heavy is beyond me. But, I didn't stop. I came home and played with my dogs. And I wait for the feelings to pass. I've learned that they do pass, if I'll just give it time and feel whatever it is that I'm feeling. I don't have to solve anything today.

Thank you, Sherry, for this thread and for your help 3.5 years ago when I had no idea that life didn't have to be an endless struggle.

Can't begin to tell you how much I identify right now. *hugs*

This too shall pass
...in God's time, not mine.