Friendship Circles: Gender Differences in How We Do It?

[Medusa]

Originally Posted by Gemme

Does anyone really introduce folks as 'this is my femme friend, Veronica' or 'this is my butch friend, Chris'?

I don't!

When I think of the gender of my closest friends, it is often in context of seeing them as a complete being. i.e. My friend "Jessica" who is Femme, Jewish, Differently-abled, tattooed, a Mother, and an elder.

Because I may not want to base my friendship with them on whatever group they are in, but I definitely want to honor those parts of them if that makes any sense.

I stepped away from this thread for a few days because I got really irritated with my inability to be super duper crystal fucking clear that this thread was not meant as a "Femme friends are the best friends!!!!" or "All Female Friends Are GIRLFRIENDZZZZZ*#*#*#*!!!!" kind of thing. (as if!)

I felt like I was noticing a pattern of sorts. The way groups form. The way friendships are formed between Femmes. The way friendships are formed between Butches.
And I guess I've just been really, really lucky because I have the privilege of saying that the friendships I have formed with some of the Femmes who are in my life over the last 15 years have been by far the closest, most authentic, most loving friendships I have in my life.
And I hate to even use the word "most" here because I'm not interested in a hierarchy where Femme friendships are on top and friendships with straight men are on the bottom. I'm merely saying that for me, in my life, I connect with Femmes in ways that are magical and amazing and in ways that I do not connect with otherly gendered folks. And perhaps that's some of my own gender stuff (and I own it!) where some of the best healing of my life has come in the presence of other (mostly Femme) women.

It's been nice to hear about other folks friendships and ways of being here.