Grieving

[Spirit Dancer]

For many reasons I sit and post this today, but the main one being there is no time limit on ones grief. Today is the day we lay my father to rest, it's been difficult this past week and the closer I got to leaving the harder it become to deal with the over whelming feelings I was facing. In the same time it would seem some thought me distant and off of the normal path.
Why can't it be that my head space isn't where others deem I need to be, why can I not just grief without judgement.
Not everyone grieves the same way, I shut down always have and proably always will, especially with those who do not know me. Life is not fair and no two are alike, just wishing there was more compassion and less judging when it comes to grieving.

Blessings,
Spirit

[diamondrose]

Much Support Spirit.

[Tommi]

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

For many reasons I sit and post this today, but the main one being there is no time limit on ones grief. Today is the day we lay my father to rest, .....

.....why can I not just grief without judgement?

..... just wishing there was more compassion and less judging when it comes to grieving.

Blessings,
Spirit

Sending a caravan of compassion...without judgement, for you yo take as needed, as often or not as you deem fit.

For my fathers funeral I had the casket spray sent from a florist with card reading.

"May we all now rest in peace._

His child.

Take tears as the cleansing purging of you own needs, and enrich the earth SpiritDancer.

Best regards,

Tommi

[Sybelle]

Yesterday was bittersweet. A good day overall. Just - the little things you miss.

Dad would call me in the morning to sing "Happy Birthday". Started it after I left home and continued up until the year of his passing in 2008.

[Tommi]

We adopted Dusty, the gregarious male long hair black kitten 13 years ago on May 15.My Ex is flying home from work tonight, to be with him during his final days. Dusty wants to say goodbye soon. His jaw cancer has taken it's toll and it is time.

We will take him for his final ride this week, and grieve another loss. She will be inconsolable and I know it. We lost his younger brother in Dec. to bowel cancer. I worry about her, and her never ending grief.

I watched the movie "You Don't Know Jack" and realized how fortunate pets are.

[waxnrope]

I grieve, yet death has not yet come. I do not know if I can stand it when it does. The last of my blood, separated in childhood, found in youth, and to be lost once again.

[redrose]

my father died last June, 2009 (the best father we could ever have)
my butch died last August, 2009 (the meaning of my life,,, my first & my last)
- me and my butch were together for 15years -

,,, am still crying every night ,,,

[JustBeingMe]

To all of you that are grieving and have already grieved, may you be blessed.
Me, I still haven't been able to grieve my dad's death in Jan. I just have too much crap going on in life to be able to do that right now. UGH

[Andrew, Jr.]

Justbeingme,

Grief has no time table. You will grieve when it is time.

Tommi,

I am lifting you up in prayer.

Redrose,

I am so very sorry for your losses. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sybelle and Waxnrope,

I am so sorry. Thank you for participating in this thread. It is a great comfort to have you here.

I lost my younger brother to suicide over 32+ years ago. The anniversary of his death comes and goes. Life goes on. I find it strange some days. I know that there isn't a day that passes when I don't think of him. Suicide is just very different in and of itself.

I wish everyone here peace.

Andrew

[Jedi]

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

For many reasons I sit and post this today, but the main one being there is no time limit on ones grief. Today is the day we lay my father to rest, it's been difficult this past week and the closer I got to leaving the harder it become to deal with the over whelming feelings I was facing. In the same time it would seem some thought me distant and off of the normal path.
Why can't it be that my head space isn't where others deem I need to be, why can I not just grief without judgement.
Not everyone grieves the same way, I shut down always have and proably always will, especially with those who do not know me. Life is not fair and no two are alike, just wishing there was more compassion and less judging when it comes to grieving.

Blessings,
Spirit

Spirit,

When my mother passed I was too young to have the appropriate words or response to know how to verbalize the loss of a parent. Just know in your heart that I can relate and I know what you are feeling and that all is ok to have and feel.

Namaste,

Jedi

[Andrew, Jr.]

Spirit Dancer,

I understand what you mean about the lack of compassion and judgement on those who are grieving. For me when my sister died, I got remarks like "get over it" or "it was her time to die". Now when my younger brother committed suicide, people just did not know what to say. I often heard things like "he wasn't happy here" or that "he is happy now". I just shake my head. The ups and downs of grief and then the emotional tugs is overwhelming. All I can say is that nobody is free from death. Everyone will experience it one day. Some sooner than others. When the shoe is on the other foot, then we will see what happens.

Just remember that grief has no time limit.

Love and peace,
Andrew

[Butterbean]

Mom & Dad, I love and miss you both so much...

.

[Bella~Vita]

Dear "Mom"

Today is 2 yrs. since you went on your journey. I miss you so much. I know you're watching over me. There is never a day that goes by that you're not on my mind.

We didn't always agree on everything but some how those issues do not matter anymore. What's important to me is that you knew how much "I love you" and I knew I was loved as well.

Your memory keeps me grounded so your job was well done ... "Thank you Mom" ... for believing in me when I didn't believe in myself and for loving me regardless of our differences. I know and believe in my Heart .. we will see each other again. Please have some homemade cookies baked when I get there... I love you !! ~ Karen ~

[MsTinkerbelly]

My Father passed away suddenly of a heart attack in 2000, and my beloved Grandfather 6 wks later. In November 2009 my Grandmother went to join them, and my Mother....my often imperfect, but always loving Mother passed this last Saturday the 22nd.

I have missed my Father and Grandfather every day since they left, but over time it became a warm glow I carried around with me everywhere I went. I honestly can't say if I will survive the latest loss....I know in my head I have to be here for my daughter and spouse, but the grief, the unending pain in my soul.....

[Scota_Parisi]

One week ago, today - The storms and terrors were too much for my boy. His hips had been bothering him and we were trying new meds. But all the overnight pacing and panic with those bad storms on Tuesday - he couldn't walk Wednesday morning.

From a six week old fluffball with blue eyes to a huge 90 pound horse/dog - he was something else. He was my friend, sidekick, grandpup, a sibling to my kids, snack loving, cookie thief, houdini dog, sammich grabbin', white hair sheddin' hound. We sang songs about him and quite often he sang with us.

The kids didn't live with me as they were growing up. And he loved their visits, evident by the way he would practically recline on Brandon or Dani any chance he could. You could tell he wanted to keep them - just by his facial expressions. "Mom, can we keep them? Pleeaase?"

Oh... and he was a back talker, especially at bedtime - fussing back at me with the kids laughing as I would shoo him downstairs. And being a houdini hound he quite often found his way back upstairs with them.

He would sit on the couch curled up with me after they went back to their Dad's in Wisconsin. Sadness shared.

Anybody that met him, couldn't help but like and/or love him. His size intimidated people, but it didn't take long to see beyond it.

Almost 13 years of memories, stories, lots of laughter and lots and lots of love.

His last few years were more quiet, tried to keep things comfortable for him. And being an elderly boy, he slept a lot.

More than a dog, way much more than a pet - he was a beautiful Being.

And Lord, how the house - is so empty.

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

My Father passed away suddenly of a heart attack in 2000, and my beloved Grandfather 6 wks later. In November 2009 my Grandmother went to join them, and my Mother....my often imperfect, but always loving Mother passed this last Saturday the 22nd.

I have missed my Father and Grandfather every day since they left, but over time it became a warm glow I carried around with me everywhere I went. I honestly can't say if I will survive the latest loss....I know in my head I have to be here for my daughter and spouse, but the grief, the unending pain in my soul.....

Well I have indeed survived, but I cannot say the grief has become less; different, but not less. I still have such anger at my Mother for smoking and causing her health issues, with a seeming disregard of the people left to grieve. But yet, i have started to really think of her as a "person" and not just my Mom, and I have begun the process of forgiveness finally.

I miss her every day, but I try to think of the good memories now instead of the last years where the hospital and worry became my best friends. I know that in time I will carry her in my heart as a part of who I have become because of her, and every day when I think of her it will be only with love.