Are butches really a dying breed?

[~ocean]

~ femmes & butch's aren't going anywhere ~ it's not nice to fool Mother Nature ~ )))

[Redsunflower]

Originally Posted by ~ocean

~ femmes & butch's aren't going anywhere ~ it's not nice to fool Mother Nature ~ )))

Perfectly said. Love it.

[DaddyNik12]

were still out here ......

[Scuba]

...yet anyway

[JAGG]

Alive and well !!! Best kept secret in Oklahoma !!!

[Paradox]

Wasn't sure how to reply to this post.
Is butch a dying breed? I would think that would depend on how Butch is defined. I believe if you are you are referring to traditional rigid male role then perhaps yes as more of the community (young/new members) break away from less fluid terms. Again not saying a stone butch is wrong or right, but how the word is broadly defined.

I live in Toronto, Canada, some may believe the mecca of gayville. It is rare to see OS butches and even less butch/femme couples.

I've been told I'm butch by straight people and not butch enough by some in the LGBT. I am perceived to be butch (how they define it) by what they see. I prefer tomboy, andro (with a slightly more masculine mannerism) because the duality is closer to how I feel rather than a need to fulfil someones' predefined butch label role.

I thought there was a declining population of femmes as well as femmes interested in non-femmes at least it seems that way here. And perhaps more so for anyone 40+.

One post asked a great question about what is it about the dynamic of butch/femme that is sought after? Is it for stereotypical hetero-normative roles?
- For myself it's finding a woman where we compliment each other. Since I don't wear heels or a dress/skirts that is one opposite - maybe she might. How she thinks and feels can make us whole. A femme for me doesn't mean that she must paint her nails, wear makeup, and have some one open the door for her but one with great character.

Originally Posted by Mr Nice Guy

I think that I'm blind to the Femmes in NH. I think they all look straight to me and I do attract straight women which boggles my mind. It's always been a problem since I was young. I'm still trying to figure it out. I even asked one time because I really wanted to know what I did to do that.

LOL - similar issue. Either I don't see them or I'm hidden from them. Straight women - less of an issue. But maybe to just satisfy a curiosity.

[SaltyButch]

Paradox, I couldn't agree with you more, I am in Mississauga and struggle with finding a community that embraces the butch/femme dynamic let alone Old School in Toronto or the GTA in general. If you are interested in making a new friend I would welcome the opportunity.

As to "butch" a dying breed, I think the rigid definition perhaps is fading out, however, in this day and age there is a new label almost everyday to try and include everyone within our community. I'm not one for labels, but within the b/f community it's a necessity if only to wean out potential partners.

I've been known for years as a "soft butch", because I wasn't clad in the clothes deemed to be what "hard butch"....I prefer to be me, I don't wear heels, makeup or dresses, but on occassion wear silk shirts does that make me less butch. I don't think so, it makes me comfortable with me and who I am, and I'm pretty sure a certain someone has no question that I'm butch.

We need to stop letting people define "us", and embrace and be confident with who we think we are, whether it be soft butch, female Id'd, male id'd, cock id'd, stone, andro, Old School or whatever we choose. The point is "we" are Butch and we bring something different and definitive to the table.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Originally Posted by Paradox

I live in Toronto, Canada, some may believe the mecca of gayville. It is rare to see OS butches and even less butch/femme couples.

Hi Paradox,

This made me wonder: is Toronto perhaps not the mecca of gayville, but only the mecca of a certain subgroup of gayville?

I'm familiar with the idea of Toronto as a gay mecca, although my perception was that it was more of a mecca for gay men. I'm not sure where I got that idea, and it could simply be another case of "women are often ignored in the media."

Could it be that the OS b/f mecca is located elsewhere? I think in the Atlanta/Decatur, Georgia area we still have quite a lot. There are certainly lots of queer people who identify in other ways, and maybe it's because I've lived here for 27 of my 48 years, but I see butches and femmes all the time who are people I don't know and don't recall ever having seen before. Of course, I'm the one identifying them as what I would call "butch" and "femme", and I don't ask them how they self-identify. (Do work pants and a tool belt make a butch? . . . gosh, I hope so.)

I'm not claiming the b/f capitol for our own, but I'm wondering what others think? (I'll need to start thinking of retirement communities fairly soon, and I don't think Scottsdale, Arizona would suit me.)