Caregivers and Stress

girl_dee · 12-14-2013, 09:34 PM

tonite my mom and i were invited to a friends birthday party. She really likes this lady and wanted to go. it was for 6:30.

At 3:30 she started stressing about when we were leaving. Then it started raining so she was stressing about that. Frantic even. My mother has been deathly afraid of bad weather since i was a kid, (like hide in the bathroom with a flashlight and a radio until it stops raining) .... we finally left and she was chattering about how bad things are, and the rain OMG if it doesn't stop raining and why did we go out and the restaraunt had nothing she wanted so she didn't eat, she wouldn't touch the napkin because she may get a rash, sooooo she just sat there not eating... and it was too cold and the people were too loud and the little kids were being mean to each other (being normal) and and and...

Then when we left she wanted to stop and get something to eat.

my poor mom just cannot relax, she jumps out of her skin for just about everything and at times she feels like a complete stranger.

i was a bit stressed out when we got there after all that but then i just let it go and said screw it and had a great time.

Redsunflower · 12-15-2013, 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

i was a bit stressed out when we got there after all that but then i just let it go and said screw it and had a great time.

Well done for getting through all the stress stuff and managing to have a good time anyway, it's much easier said than done.
:-)

JustLovelyJenn · 12-15-2013, 02:48 PM

Has anyone every had to fight to get proper care for their loved one... whether in a home or a school? I fear this is the path I am headed down right now, and I am not sure how much of a fight its worth... Or how much of a fight I can handle.

My son is in 4th grade... he has severe behavior needs due to autism, adhd, and an impulse disorder... and I found out this last week that they are restraining him unneccessarily, and doing it improperly at that. I don't know how much of a fight this is going to be... and I am wondering if it will even be worth it, or if I should just find somewhere else for him to go to school...

Redsunflower · 12-15-2013, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustLovelyJenn

Has anyone every had to fight to get proper care for their loved one... whether in a home or a school? I fear this is the path I am headed down right now, and I am not sure how much of a fight its worth... Or how much of a fight I can handle.

My son is in 4th grade... he has severe behavior needs due to autism, adhd, and an impulse disorder... and I found out this last week that they are restraining him unneccessarily, and doing it improperly at that. I don't know how much of a fight this is going to be... and I am wondering if it will even be worth it, or if I should just find somewhere else for him to go to school...

Hi there JustLovelyJenn

So sorry to hear you're having a difficult time with your son's school. How difficult for you, and him. I'm not sure how much help I can be; I live in Britain and I'm guessing you're in the states. However, if you lived here, this is what would happen.

An educational psychologist would be involved who has a good understanding of the educational needs of children with adhd, asd and associated behavioural difficulties. They would co-ordinate a consistent approach, in consultation with yourself, and follow this up throughout your child's schooling. Does his school have one of those?

Failing that, you could go back to the psychologist that diagnosed him. If he's on meds you may have contact with that person anyway, and ask them to help by contacting the school.

If it's all too much and nobody is listening, in Britain you could contact a social worker to fight those battles for you.

It's all so stressful but will be so worth it once your son is more settled. Best of luck with it and let me know how you get on.

Rxx

TruTexan · 12-15-2013, 06:12 PM

I'm sorry about all that Jenn. I wish I had answers for you. I would contact maybe someone with the Disabilities dept in your state , maybe they can steer you in the right direction?

Venus007 · 12-16-2013, 07:53 AM

Searching for a Medicaid bed in a facility that is rated at least above average to well above average for the HL's dad. It also has to be relatively close to where we live so it makes our daily trips easier.

Who would have thought finding a bed in a facility with the combination of moderately close by, quality care that takes Medicaid would be so difficult in a metropolitan area of 5.6 million people.

The clock is ticking on the rehab center. In 3 days his Medicare will be up for the short term rehab facility. They told us we had 60 more days on Monday then on Friday after 5pm told us he had to be out Wednesday or we have to pay $142.00 a day. (We can't afford that).

Considering how hard it is to find the elusive Medicaid bed, we should have started sooner, immediately even. Now we know I guess.

TruTexan · 12-16-2013, 10:40 PM

Sorry to hear of the troubles with finding a facility that works for your family, venus. I hope you find one.

12-15-2013, 02:48 PM	#3
JustLovelyJenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: That's Need to Know Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Aberdeen, WA Posts: 4,478 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12,464 Thanked 13,992 Times in 3,684 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Has anyone every had to fight to get proper care for their loved one... whether in a home or a school? I fear this is the path I am headed down right now, and I am not sure how much of a fight its worth... Or how much of a fight I can handle. My son is in 4th grade... he has severe behavior needs due to autism, adhd, and an impulse disorder... and I found out this last week that they are restraining him unneccessarily, and doing it improperly at that. I don't know how much of a fight this is going to be... and I am wondering if it will even be worth it, or if I should just find somewhere else for him to go to school... __________________ --Jenn

12-15-2013, 06:12 PM	#5
TruTexan Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: in a one horse town in a large state, in the U.S. Posts: 3,952 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 5,266 Times in 1,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I'm sorry about all that Jenn. I wish I had answers for you. I would contact maybe someone with the Disabilities dept in your state , maybe they can steer you in the right direction? __________________

12-16-2013, 07:53 AM	#6
Venus007 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status: Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Houston area Posts: 1,362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,417 Thanked 4,750 Times in 1,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Breathe in breathe out Searching for a Medicaid bed in a facility that is rated at least above average to well above average for the HL's dad. It also has to be relatively close to where we live so it makes our daily trips easier. Who would have thought finding a bed in a facility with the combination of moderately close by, quality care that takes Medicaid would be so difficult in a metropolitan area of 5.6 million people. The clock is ticking on the rehab center. In 3 days his Medicare will be up for the short term rehab facility. They told us we had 60 more days on Monday then on Friday after 5pm told us he had to be out Wednesday or we have to pay $142.00 a day. (We can't afford that). Considering how hard it is to find the elusive Medicaid bed, we should have started sooner, immediately even. Now we know I guess. __________________ . "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary

12-16-2013, 10:40 PM	#7
TruTexan Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: in a one horse town in a large state, in the U.S. Posts: 3,952 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 5,266 Times in 1,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Sorry to hear of the troubles with finding a facility that works for your family, venus. I hope you find one. __________________

12-14-2013, 09:34 PM	#1
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	tonite my mom and i were invited to a friends birthday party. She really likes this lady and wanted to go. it was for 6:30. At 3:30 she started stressing about when we were leaving. Then it started raining so she was stressing about that. Frantic even. My mother has been deathly afraid of bad weather since i was a kid, (like hide in the bathroom with a flashlight and a radio until it stops raining) .... we finally left and she was chattering about how bad things are, and the rain OMG if it doesn't stop raining and why did we go out and the restaraunt had nothing she wanted so she didn't eat, she wouldn't touch the napkin because she may get a rash, sooooo she just sat there not eating... and it was too cold and the people were too loud and the little kids were being mean to each other (being normal) and and and... Then when we left she wanted to stop and get something to eat. my poor mom just cannot relax, she jumps out of her skin for just about everything and at times she feels like a complete stranger. i was a bit stressed out when we got there after all that but then i just let it go and said screw it and had a great time.