Poly-friendly mingling/flirting thread

[Sweet Bliss]

Originally Posted by nycfem

Just wanted to let people know that we also have a butch femme compound thread, ya know, like forming a butch femme compound to go live on. Might be a better fit for some than the poly thread.

thanks, will go look for it.

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Originally Posted by JustLovelyJenn

My bio family sometimes jokes that we need to buy one piece of property and all build a house on it. I know that having everyone I consider family on a single piece of property is impractical, however, this is the type of feeling and enviornment I hope to someday create for my home. One where people feel comfortable and welcome, and involved, no matter if they are staying for dinner, or moving in.

I think its important to have both time together and time apart. Whether the people are intimately involved or not, I want a group that is comfortable in each others spaces, that can work together in a communial living environment, but still have the ability and right to spend time apart. I know that likely, it will not be an easy thing to accomplish, but its something to work towards.

Somehow, I feel like this thought is not complete... but, its where I am leaving it for now.

Ok so I have a question for you and other femmes even other Alpha's no matter how they id. Whenever I have had a Poly House and many that I have heard of been around there has usually been one Alpha for the poly house. However, more and more I am meeting people that let's say wants me as a primary but also wants to see another Alpha. Since we are talking communal living and poly relationships then add to the fact that I prefer to have everyone I am seeing under one roof (in an idea setting of course).. My question is is it even possible to have more then one Alpha in a House or will our egos kill each other? Has anyone ever experienced it or seen it happen successfully?

I have once in a gay males poly house but there was still a hierarchy with a Master and a Sir and the submissives. I am just curious what others thoughts on the matter is,,,,

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by ~KnightsBlade~

Ok so I have a question for you and other femmes even other Alpha's no matter how they id. Whenever I have had a Poly House and many that I have heard of been around there has usually been one Alpha for the poly house. However, more and more I am meeting people that let's say wants me as a primary but also wants to see another Alpha. Since we are talking communal living and poly relationships then add to the fact that I prefer to have everyone I am seeing under one roof (in an idea setting of course).. My question is is it even possible to have more then one Alpha in a House or will our egos kill each other? Has anyone ever experienced it or seen it happen successfully?

I have once in a gay males poly house but there was still a hierarchy with a Master and a Sir and the submissives. I am just curious what others thoughts on the matter is,,,,

Are you talking a poly household or Leather Communal living?

I am confused, cause the polyamory thread is now mixed in with communal living


Thank you in advance for clarifying

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Are you talking a poly household or Leather Communal living?

I am confused, cause the polyamory thread is now mixed in with communal living


Thank you in advance for clarifying

I was trying to get back to the poly thoughts so a poly household but most of my experience with actual poly households are Leather Poly household.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by ~KnightsBlade~

I was trying to get back to the poly thoughts so a poly household but most of my experience with actual poly households are Leather Poly household.

So I am gonna explain how it would go for *me*, this does not reflect how others would run their particular space.


If I coupled up with/ decided to mentor/ fall in like with/ decided to combine families with/ and they happened to be a peer(another Alpha.Master.Dom.Top), I would most likely do so with someone I have hand a long time, and I mean LONG LONG time Leather relationship with, it would have to be a REAL TIME exchange where both our houses were mingling, socializing, getting to know one another period of consideration and planning for a future blend of Households.


My peer and I (An Alpha.Master.Top.Dominant) would be to busy getting things in order, (having already spent a great deal of time together with all our peoples) to even have to worry about some weird *Alphas killing eachother* kind of bullshit up in my sacred space, that kind of weird chest bumping I am *Alpha* so therefore I have to be in charge of it all is NOT going to function well in a House that is being constructed under the guidance of 2 Dominants.

Dominants with common sense are going to talk about how to handle and check their egos at the door before exposing any of their property to that kind of unnecessary drama and stress.


If you (GENERAL) have an issue with other Alphas, then you're (GENERAL) best bet is to be the ONLY Alpha in your household, it will save a lot of grief.


As for having all the people you are *seeing*, *fucking*, *dating*, *courting* etc under one roof, *I* couldn't do it.. *I* need breathing room, I need private one on one time, individual time in an individual space, where I am not having to worry about (insert slave's name here) having to see, watch, and be around private intimate moments between me and (insert whatever here)

That for *ME* is to messy, I like to keep my compartments nice and tidy and in seperate drawers.


Leather Women/Men run successful poly families with just one Master, Master and Mistress at times, Master with alpha submissive exploring Top side and bringing in a boy.girl it goes on and on.


It's the work that people have issues with sometimes, not the poly or idea, it takes work, consideration, empathy, and responsibility to make it work.

Thanks for the interaction

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

So I am gonna explain how it would go for *me*, this does not reflect how others would run their particular space.


If I coupled up with/ decided to mentor/ fall in like with/ decided to combine families with/ and they happened to be a peer(another Alpha.Master.Dom.Top), I would most likely do so with someone I have hand a long time, and I mean LONG LONG time Leather relationship with, it would have to be a REAL TIME exchange where both our houses were mingling, socializing, getting to know one another period of consideration and planning for a future blend of Households.


My peer and I (An Alpha.Master.Top.Dominant) would be to busy getting things in order, (having already spent a great deal of time together with all our peoples) to even have to worry about some weird *Alphas killing eachother* kind of bullshit up in my sacred space, that kind of weird chest bumping I am *Alpha* so therefore I have to be in charge of it all is NOT going to function well in a House that is being constructed under the guidance of 2 Dominants.

Dominants with common sense are going to talk about how to handle and check their egos at the door before exposing any of their property to that kind of unnecessary drama and stress.


If you (GENERAL) have an issue with other Alphas, then you're (GENERAL) best bet is to be the ONLY Alpha in your household, it will save a lot of grief.


As for having all the people you are *seeing*, *fucking*, *dating*, *courting* etc under one roof, *I* couldn't do it.. *I* need breathing room, I need private one on one time, individual time in an individual space, where I am not having to worry about (insert slave's name here) having to see, watch, and be around private intimate moments between me and (insert whatever here)

That for *ME* is to messy, I like to keep my compartments nice and tidy and in seperate drawers.


Leather Women/Men run successful poly families with just one Master, Master and Mistress at times, Master with alpha submissive exploring Top side and bringing in a boy.girl it goes on and on.


It's the work that people have issues with sometimes, not the poly or idea, it takes work, consideration, empathy, and responsibility to make it work.

Thanks for the interaction

Thank you I can actually see that working and like you I would have to know my peer a long time before even considering such a mingling. I also agree that there are many forms of poly families ran by Leather Women/Men that are very successful because they are willing to do the work involved. I haven't seen/ran into much chest thumping in the Leather community at least not among those that have been at it awhile. I was just asking because I was actually talking to someone about the possibility of having a poly family with more then one Alpha but I think they were referring to non Leather situations and I wanted others opinion on if it was even possible or something they would want. Since I realize there is about a 1000 and 1 ways to do poly or non mongomy....Thank you again for answering

[Ms. Meander]

All of this communal living talk is giving me heart palpitations! Even though my current living situation is not so far off from "communal" -- it's challenging to me sometimes. The only reason it works for me is that I have absolute autonomy, my personal space is large and well removed from the others, the others respect my need for space (mostly), and it has nothing to do with my love/sex life.

This gal loves her "me time". For those of you who feel you require a good amount of time to yourselves and greatly value your autonomy --- how do you balance that with multiple lovers and/or play partners?

[JustLovelyJenn]

I don't think I have ever considered having more then one "alpha" in a house. I am trying to think back over past situations, and even considerations, and I can't see that for me as a possibility. I do like the idea of having everyone together, that is deffinently in my "dream come true" file, however, the higherarchy needs to exist... I don't like the potential for my partners to be competing with one another, that doesnt sound like a peaceful family life to me.