Have you lost everything? Encouragment needed

Soft*Silver · 01-13-2014, 05:02 PM

I am glad you are not pushing your daughter to see the remains of the home. But take many photos, especially of her room. She will want to see them later as she heals, and as she matures.

Something you can do for her, to make her feel better, is to ask her what she would need to feel safe, and explore it. Some might be reasonable, some might not be. Asking to sleep with her parents might be ok, but you have to establish early on, its not forever. Depending on her age, you could get her something that would be her bed buddy, representing your promise you will do everything you can to keep it from happening again.

Kids who go thru fires sometimes play with fire in small doses, to explore what it looks like and how it consumed their lives. Just be prepared in case she does this..she hasnt lost her mind. It is part of the journey of healing for some survivors. It goes away. (Arsonists do not develop from this. Thats a disorder. I am not talking about that kind of fire interest.)

caffeinelover · 01-14-2014, 04:51 AM

Kuddos to you for being able to function still after such a devastating event. I wish for you and your family to regain soon a sense of safety.

You shouldn't blame yourself and add guilt to injury about what happened, especially in regards to your daughter.

What you are providing her in matter of emotional safety is very valuable and will come to be an anchor in the storm for her.

Also, the way you are all going to recover from the event, as a family, will give her lessons in strength and resilience that will last her a lifetime. I empathize with her situation and the loss of her things It might help for her to make a list of items that she'd like to have replaced and cross out each item as you are buying them back. She knows you have the ability to provide for her, the ability was not taken away from you, just the things this ability brought.

If you still have a job, an income or the ability to make money, you can bounce back from the situation.

I am very grateful for the sharing of your story and also for the incredible gift of story sharing from all the people who replied to your post.

These messages of hope and overcoming loss and grief have inspired me immensely.

01-13-2014, 05:02 PM	#1
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,594 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,897 Times in 4,064 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	I am glad you are not pushing your daughter to see the remains of the home. But take many photos, especially of her room. She will want to see them later as she heals, and as she matures. Something you can do for her, to make her feel better, is to ask her what she would need to feel safe, and explore it. Some might be reasonable, some might not be. Asking to sleep with her parents might be ok, but you have to establish early on, its not forever. Depending on her age, you could get her something that would be her bed buddy, representing your promise you will do everything you can to keep it from happening again. Kids who go thru fires sometimes play with fire in small doses, to explore what it looks like and how it consumed their lives. Just be prepared in case she does this..she hasnt lost her mind. It is part of the journey of healing for some survivors. It goes away. (Arsonists do not develop from this. Thats a disorder. I am not talking about that kind of fire interest.) __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

01-14-2014, 04:51 AM	#2
caffeinelover Junior Member How Do You Identify?: ------------------ Preferred Pronoun?: ------------------------- Relationship Status: -------------------------- Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: -------------------- Posts: 18 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 40 Thanked 65 Times in 15 Posts Rep Power: 429510	Kuddos to you for being able to function still after such a devastating event. I wish for you and your family to regain soon a sense of safety. You shouldn't blame yourself and add guilt to injury about what happened, especially in regards to your daughter. What you are providing her in matter of emotional safety is very valuable and will come to be an anchor in the storm for her. Also, the way you are all going to recover from the event, as a family, will give her lessons in strength and resilience that will last her a lifetime. I empathize with her situation and the loss of her things It might help for her to make a list of items that she'd like to have replaced and cross out each item as you are buying them back. She knows you have the ability to provide for her, the ability was not taken away from you, just the things this ability brought. If you still have a job, an income or the ability to make money, you can bounce back from the situation. I am very grateful for the sharing of your story and also for the incredible gift of story sharing from all the people who replied to your post. These messages of hope and overcoming loss and grief have inspired me immensely.