What fart did you fart today?

nycfem · 02-12-2014, 07:54 PM

One from yesterday, one from today:

Yesterday: THE FREUDIAN FART

I ran into someone I knew and didn't want to really do the "Hi, how are you, what have you been up to" thing with him but did anyway. So we were having our upbeat convo, and I asked about how his on-again, off-again girlfriend was doing. He said, "She's doing an internship in Oakland, California for a year. It's a fellowship on renewable energy. She's become really interested in fresh air." I don't know if it was the unconscious power of suggestion or what but the moment the words "fresh air" were spoken I let a "silent but deadly" rip. "Anyway nice seeing you!" he called over his shoulder as he trotted off at a brisk pace.

Today: THE "WAKE THE DEAD" FART

After a fine meal of collard greens, injera (Ethiopian bread), shiro (Ethiopian chick pea stew), and Red Velvet ice cream (Ben & Jerry's), I felt a loud fart coming on. Sometimes one could stifle it but a sense of "Seize the Day! You only live once!" takes over, and instead it's given red carpet treatment. In this case that meant, lifting a cheek off the chair and pushing with gusto. I was sitting at my computer desk and BB was sitting at the dining room table eating take-out Italian, so I thought maybe just maybe, somehow, I could get away with BB not having heard it. But instead, instantly, a sleeping cat woke and stared at me, and BB nearly dropped hys fork. I said, "I think I woke the cat." BB said, "Are you kidding, Honey? You woke the dead."

Julie · 02-12-2014, 07:58 PM

I FARTED for the Preacher today!
And the Preacker cackled.

Medusa · 02-12-2014, 08:02 PM

I can verify said fart

Dreamer · 02-12-2014, 08:06 PM

Omg I am already imagining the wedding and New Orleans farts... Look out guests.

RockOn · 02-12-2014, 08:58 PM

Silent Stealth plan goes awry

I did a long one cheek sneak (so I had planned) in my cubi today. The first part went swell, a genuine stealth, under the radar fart - made me proud but the last portion went into a long sort of high pitched zinger and the pitch continued to rise as it played out. I could not stop it in the middle when it became noisey ... I was trying so hard not to laugh but unable to help myself at that point ... each stifled giggle produced little bullet farts at the end. Hot little fart it was, I had lots of jalapeno peppers on the veggie sub I had for breakfast earlier. Pretty rough, had to abandon my cubicle.

Sweet Bliss · 02-12-2014, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

Silent Stealth plan goes awry

I did a long one cheek sneak (so I had planned) in my cubi today. The first part went swell, a genuine stealth, under the radar fart - made me proud but the last portion went into a long sort of high pitched zinger and the pitch continued to rise as it played out. I could not stop it in the middle when it became noisey ... I was trying so hard not to laugh but unable to help myself at that point ... each stifled giggle produced little bullet farts at the end. Hot little fart it was, I had lots of jalapeno peppers on the veggie sub I had for breakfast earlier. Pretty rough, had to abandon my cubicle.

<……… Brock

me...>

......

Coworkers ... >

Gemme · 02-13-2014, 06:06 AM

The average person farts 16 times a day.

solamite · 02-16-2014, 08:19 PM

Juz pullz meez finga & u willz noe wat kind of fart I didz todae.

GraffitiBoi · 02-16-2014, 10:50 PM

02-12-2014, 07:54 PM	#1
nycfem Moderator How Do You Identify?: femme sub Preferred Pronoun?: Baby Grrl Relationship Status: Attached Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 6,794 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 52,987 Thanked 21,446 Times in 5,101 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	One from yesterday, one from today: Yesterday: THE FREUDIAN FART I ran into someone I knew and didn't want to really do the "Hi, how are you, what have you been up to" thing with him but did anyway. So we were having our upbeat convo, and I asked about how his on-again, off-again girlfriend was doing. He said, "She's doing an internship in Oakland, California for a year. It's a fellowship on renewable energy. She's become really interested in fresh air." I don't know if it was the unconscious power of suggestion or what but the moment the words "fresh air" were spoken I let a "silent but deadly" rip. "Anyway nice seeing you!" he called over his shoulder as he trotted off at a brisk pace. Today: THE "WAKE THE DEAD" FART After a fine meal of collard greens, injera (Ethiopian bread), shiro (Ethiopian chick pea stew), and Red Velvet ice cream (Ben & Jerry's), I felt a loud fart coming on. Sometimes one could stifle it but a sense of "Seize the Day! You only live once!" takes over, and instead it's given red carpet treatment. In this case that meant, lifting a cheek off the chair and pushing with gusto. I was sitting at my computer desk and BB was sitting at the dining room table eating take-out Italian, so I thought maybe just maybe, somehow, I could get away with BB not having heard it. But instead, instantly, a sleeping cat woke and stared at me, and BB nearly dropped hys fork. I said, "I think I woke the cat." BB said, "Are you kidding, Honey? You woke the dead." __________________ *** How do I... ?** Check out the Members Helping Members thread: http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...embers+Helping

02-12-2014, 07:58 PM	#2
Julie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Angel * Femme * Lesbian * Girl * Woman * Slut * Bitch * Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: No longer a Virgin Bride to Dreamer ~ May 17th, 2014 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New York Posts: 4,674 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,676 Thanked 18,160 Times in 3,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I FARTED for the Preacher today! And the Preacker cackled. __________________ “Sometimes only one person is missing and the whole world seems depopulated.” ~ Alphonse de Lamartine - 1790-1869 http://i374.photobucket.com/albums/o...ps4d9fb6c0.jpg I Love You ~ I Love Us May 17, 2014

02-12-2014, 08:02 PM	#3
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,686 Times in 7,831 Posts Rep Power: 10000025	I can verify said fart __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

02-12-2014, 08:06 PM	#4
Dreamer Member How Do You Identify?: butch Relationship Status: Dreams do come true... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Home with my beautiful wife Posts: 1,143 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,642 Thanked 4,234 Times in 950 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Omg I am already imagining the wedding and New Orleans farts... Look out guests. __________________ "Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be...Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you have never lived before" ~Erich~

02-13-2014, 06:06 AM	#7
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,933 Times in 25,667 Posts Rep Power: 21474888	The average person farts 16 times a day. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

02-12-2014, 08:58 PM	#5
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Silent Stealth plan goes awry I did a long one cheek sneak (so I had planned) in my cubi today. The first part went swell, a genuine stealth, under the radar fart - made me proud but the last portion went into a long sort of high pitched zinger and the pitch continued to rise as it played out. I could not stop it in the middle when it became noisey ... I was trying so hard not to laugh but unable to help myself at that point ... each stifled giggle produced little bullet farts at the end. Hot little fart it was, I had lots of jalapeno peppers on the veggie sub I had for breakfast earlier. Pretty rough, had to abandon my cubicle.

02-16-2014, 08:19 PM	#8
solamite Junior Member How Do You Identify?: SOLAMITE Preferred Pronoun?: Agglutinative Relationship Status: SINGLE Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Shoe Box Posts: 66 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8 Thanked 28 Times in 12 Posts Rep Power: 488318	Juz pullz meez finga & u willz noe wat kind of fart I didz todae.

02-16-2014, 10:50 PM	#9
GraffitiBoi Member How Do You Identify?: Transmasculine Preferred Pronoun?: Male ones Relationship Status: Playing around and having fun Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Minnetonka, MN Posts: 903 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 990 Thanked 3,663 Times in 824 Posts Rep Power: 21474849