Are butches really a dying breed?

[imperfect_cupcake]

I've never seen the butch nod. Ever. But then I'm mostly where people keep themselves to themselves in certain ways. I think I've been given the dyke recognition nod twice in my life. Sucks shit not to get it, but hey ho.

And I've had my own asshole handed to me on a platter for things I've said. I don't think anyone was rude, and I stated a pet peeve of mine around the usage of true butch in a pretty diplomatic way tru Texan. I'm pretty sure anyone with half a clit would not be so meek as to have been chased off by a debate. No insults were made, no firestorms, no bare ass paddling. Frankly if people can't deal with a debate that keeps to polite interaction (polite. Not swaddled kid gloves) then perhaps people shouldn't be partaking Iin a discussion thread and stick to fun, fluff and games.

We aren't made of glass.

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

I've never seen the butch nod. Ever. But then I'm mostly where people keep themselves to themselves in certain ways. I think I've been given the dyke recognition nod twice in my life. Sucks shit not to get it, but hey ho….

.

I have seen the butch nod, and it always makes me happy. I get less and less dyke recognition as the years go by, so I love to see that "Yeah, we're cool. We know who we are and we'll acknowledge it in that special too-cool-for-school butch way" nod amongst butches.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

I have seen the butch nod, and it always makes me happy. I get less and less dyke recognition as the years go by, so I love to see that "Yeah, we're cool. We know who we are and we'll acknowledge it in that special too-cool-for-school butch way" nod amongst butches.

I agree Cheryl and am glad to read your post.

My girlfriend gets and reciprocates (or initiates) the nod frequently.

She does not even consciously connect the nod with either her butchness or that of others until I smile with delight.

As an invisible femme, I get the recognition by association and it does feel good.

It helps me to feel a part of our community.

[imperfect_cupcake]

recognition does feel good, absolutely. I got heaps of it in London. More than I ever have in my life. just not in a solidarity nod on the street. You don't nod to strangers on the street. that would be inviting them to talk to you and that's considered dangerous to do. And then you'd also have to think of something to say if the worst happened and they SPOKE TO YOU. lol.
Thats why people are very quiet in queues there.

Anyway, I am more than sure it exists. especially in places where being gay is repressed and considered wrong. I am putting forward for consideration that as youth may be growing up with much higher acceptance for who they are, they no longer feel the need to nod at strangers who may or may not be like them. The more acceptance you have, the less community there is. Unless you make a sub-sub-group for interest sake. Like a book club for academic genderqueers who like edwardian ghost tales.

Here there is boxing for genderqueers and yoga and a cafe and a gallery and... quite a few other things. there's even a two million dollar fund given by government towards a queer (as in genderqueer) community centre. Many of whom I personally would have called butch are now calling themselves genderqueer and transmasculine rather than butch and aligning themselves with the queer culture rather than butch-femme or lesbian. But that's local to me (and seemingly what was also going on in London) I don't know what's different about crossing the boarder, but I know when I speak to people in seattle, it suddenly becomes a very different type of potato.

[ProfPacker]

I do see the same phenomena in youth who are (or already have) constructed and co-constructed gender, gender queer and other identities that are "akin" to their own cultural constructs but like honey Barbara said, it is different in different locales. In my host community (which is considered one of the more progressive in the country)... them youth seem to have less cultural constrictions as coming out on the lbgtq continuum and there are more than a few trans youth and as both my kids says one in middle and one out in the world) it is just is.

However, I teach on Staten Island, a much more conservative community and I see a different construct. Even standing before classes as an out instructor I still have students writing in their self reflections ttheir struggles. Do not know of one out trans youth in the 200 or so kids or adults I have taught at this school. So it very even within close in proximity locals close to NYC

[ConCrtAnge1]

i am so very sorry to have used any offensive labeling.. I am in noway or in noway was I trying to offend, hurt, stereo type and or come off as "racist or homophobic." I will use extreme caution before posting next time.
I do want to thanks those for the welcomes and to those who were there to address the flaws in my post. Again I apologize... Happy Mardi Gras in St Louis

[Jess]

Originally Posted by ConCrtAnge1

i am so very sorry to have used any offensive labeling.. I am in noway or in noway was I trying to offend, hurt, stereo type and or come off as "racist or homophobic." I will use extreme caution before posting next time.
I do want to thanks those for the welcomes and to those who were there to address the flaws in my post. Again I apologize... Happy Mardi Gras in St Louis

Fat Tuesday coming up! ENJOY!!

I knew you meant no harm Thank you for jumping back in here! And seriously, check out the threads in The Lesbian Zone... there are lots of butches around who dance the same way you do lady!

Mahalo! Good Luck!

[NitroChrys_Butch]

Originally Posted by ConCrtAnge1

i am so very sorry to have used any offensive labeling.. I am in noway or in noway was I trying to offend, hurt, stereo type and or come off as "racist or homophobic." I will use extreme caution before posting next time.
I do want to thanks those for the welcomes and to those who were there to address the flaws in my post. Again I apologize... Happy Mardi Gras in St Louis

WELCOME! I read your opening statements twice and I was not offended. It takes time to feel your way around and know that some terms upset folks. They are triggers. Don't let it throw you. Stick around. You will get the hang of it. *W