Corny jokes

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-13-2014, 04:52 PM

Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

Because if it flew over the bay it would be called a bagel!

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-15-2014, 08:20 AM

How do you carve a big piece of wood?

wittle by wittle

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-15-2014, 11:27 AM

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine.

clay · 03-15-2014, 12:04 PM

Practice having a safe lunch......use condiments!!!

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-16-2014, 06:15 AM

What does a piano player dream about?

Sheet music.

Candelion · 03-25-2014, 06:10 PM

A really hot butch asked me for my number today and all I had to do was hit hys car with my car.

When a femme wears leather, a butch goes crazy and gets weak in the knees...she smells like a new truck!

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-28-2014, 08:19 AM

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-28-2014, 01:08 PM

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-29-2014, 07:52 AM

mythy · 03-29-2014, 08:27 AM

A bloke goes to a fancy dress party naked with his girlfriend on his shoulders, they get there knock on the door and the bloke who answers says "what have you come as", the guy sez " a tortoise", the first bloke sez and who's that on your shoulders"...the guy sez "thats michelle"

Candelion · 04-01-2014, 07:45 PM

Unfortunately, putting a bow on your head does not make you gifted.

A truckload of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins. What a turtle disaster.

Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat.

The best way to get a youthful figure is to ask a woman her age.

I'm not that bright. The only way I'll ever get to say "Checkmate!" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia.

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-25-2014, 03:55 PM

Some bacon, eggs and toast walk into a bar, and the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast"

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-25-2014, 04:31 PM

Jesse · 03-25-2014, 05:53 PM

q: what's brown and sticky?

a: a stick

Gentle Tiger · 04-01-2014, 08:23 PM

This thread is cracking me up.

mythy · 04-02-2014, 12:53 AM

A burgler breaks into a house, after he has gone a couple of steps he hears a voice..."Jesus is watching you"
he looks round and the voice sez again "Jesus is watching you"
he looks round and sees a parrot in a cage, so he walks over, "was that you saying that". the parrot sez " yep it was"
the burglar sez " wots your name"
the parrot sez "Clarence"
the burglar sez " that a stupid name wot silly fucker called you that"
the parrot sez " the silly fucker who called the rottweiler Jesus"

mythy · 04-02-2014, 12:59 AM

A gorilla walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender thinks a gorilla, heres a chance to make some money, so he pours the beer and asks for a stupid amount of money.
the gorilla hands it over, and then starts frowning and giving the bartender the evil eye, the bartender thinks shit he looks annoyed al go and talk to him
the bartender sez " we dont get many gorillas in hear
the gorillas sez " at these prices am not fucking surprised.

Gemme · 04-02-2014, 04:59 AM

How did the french fry die?

He was asaulted.

Candelion · 04-04-2014, 08:08 PM

What did the cat say after eating two robins who were lying in the sun?

"I LOVE baskin' robins."

Happy_Go_Lucky · 04-05-2014, 06:35 AM

03-13-2014, 04:52 PM	#1
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay it would be called a bagel! __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-15-2014, 08:20 AM	#2
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	How do you carve a big piece of wood? wittle by wittle __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-15-2014, 11:27 AM	#3
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	An oldie but a goody Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-15-2014, 12:04 PM	#4
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,666 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Practice having a safe lunch......use condiments!!! __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

03-16-2014, 06:15 AM	#5
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	What does a piano player dream about? Sheet music. __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-25-2014, 06:10 PM	#6
Candelion Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/you Relationship Status: He can till my field. Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Canada Posts: 1,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,396 Thanked 4,032 Times in 896 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	A really hot butch asked me for my number today and all I had to do was hit hys car with my car. When a femme wears leather, a butch goes crazy and gets weak in the knees...she smells like a new truck!

03-28-2014, 08:19 AM	#7
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-28-2014, 01:08 PM	#8
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-29-2014, 07:52 AM	#9
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-29-2014, 08:27 AM	#10
mythy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: silly buggar Relationship Status: single Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: cheshire Posts: 80 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 180 Times in 67 Posts Rep Power: 1503252	Daft Joke A bloke goes to a fancy dress party naked with his girlfriend on his shoulders, they get there knock on the door and the bloke who answers says "what have you come as", the guy sez " a tortoise", the first bloke sez and who's that on your shoulders"...the guy sez "thats michelle"

04-01-2014, 07:45 PM	#11
Candelion Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/you Relationship Status: He can till my field. Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Canada Posts: 1,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,396 Thanked 4,032 Times in 896 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Unfortunately, putting a bow on your head does not make you gifted. A truckload of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins. What a turtle disaster. Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat. The best way to get a youthful figure is to ask a woman her age. I'm not that bright. The only way I'll ever get to say "Checkmate!" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia.

03-25-2014, 03:55 PM	#12
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Some bacon, eggs and toast walk into a bar, and the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast" __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-25-2014, 04:31 PM	#13
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-25-2014, 05:53 PM	#14
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,783 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	q: what's brown and sticky? a: a stick __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

04-01-2014, 08:23 PM	#15
Gentle Tiger Moderator How Do You Identify?: As a Tiger of course Preferred Pronoun?: Not the Old Man Relationship Status: Two Tigers Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Northern California Posts: 7,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,001 Thanked 15,990 Times in 3,992 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	This thread is cracking me up. __________________ Please like

04-02-2014, 12:53 AM	#16
mythy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: silly buggar Relationship Status: single Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: cheshire Posts: 80 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 180 Times in 67 Posts Rep Power: 1503252	Daft Joke A burgler breaks into a house, after he has gone a couple of steps he hears a voice..."Jesus is watching you" he looks round and the voice sez again "Jesus is watching you" he looks round and sees a parrot in a cage, so he walks over, "was that you saying that". the parrot sez " yep it was" the burglar sez " wots your name" the parrot sez "Clarence" the burglar sez " that a stupid name wot silly fucker called you that" the parrot sez " the silly fucker who called the rottweiler Jesus"

04-02-2014, 12:59 AM	#17
mythy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: silly buggar Relationship Status: single Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: cheshire Posts: 80 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 180 Times in 67 Posts Rep Power: 1503252	another daft joke A gorilla walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender thinks a gorilla, heres a chance to make some money, so he pours the beer and asks for a stupid amount of money. the gorilla hands it over, and then starts frowning and giving the bartender the evil eye, the bartender thinks shit he looks annoyed al go and talk to him the bartender sez " we dont get many gorillas in hear the gorillas sez " at these prices am not fucking surprised.

04-02-2014, 04:59 AM	#18
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,926 Times in 25,667 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	How did the french fry die? He was asaulted. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

04-04-2014, 08:08 PM	#19
Candelion Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/you Relationship Status: He can till my field. Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Canada Posts: 1,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,396 Thanked 4,032 Times in 896 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	What did the cat say after eating two robins who were lying in the sun? "I LOVE baskin' robins."

04-05-2014, 06:35 AM	#20
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.