What do YOU need to feel loved?

[socialjustice_fsu]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Love of self. Without that I tend to be numb to any other kind of love.

I so agree with this statement. It is the foundation for all good things to come. In some ways I believe this is where we fail in relationships simply because we don't understand the importance and vital role of loving ourselves. I believe it essential to have this in order to be open for another human being to enter our lives/hearts. I believe, for me, I must have a sense of peace - in me - around me. A turbulent soul finds that love alludes them, true?

I must have passion. Not just about each other but simply about living. Passion segues to many other emotions I feel we were all meant to partake. Become passionate and watch passion grow in another. It unfolds beautifully given the chance.

To be feel loved I need to share deep conversations with another. It connects our heads, hearts, souls. Talk with me not to me. Teach me. I will teach you.

To be loved I need one to understand the pain that comes with living and dying. How can you understand my grief when you come to the table of life with no experiences? I believe one has to know deep pain to know deep joy. This is part of the process.

To be loved I want respect. I believe it must be earned. It is how I treat my lover and how I want to be treated in return. Simple, yet it requires work and attention.

What else I need to feel loved...one that understands the breadth and width of odd family dynamics. To understand the connections and the distances. There are bona fide reasons for both.

Lastly, to feel loved I know I need to be validated as a woman, a human being, and a participant in life. Let me know, from time to time, my worth to you. Not so much appreciation, per se, but let me know I mean something to you and my life has meaning. I strive to live a life of significance and I need a witness. I hope to continue to lead a life of service to others (hospice) and my sense of worth comes to me in a myriad of ways - but hearing one say so - well, it simply soothes me and I feel loved.

[Kobi]

For me, whether it is a friendship or relationship, the most important thing is taking the time to get to know someone and developing a solid foundation based on trust, honesty, and mutual respect.

To get to know someone, who they are, what they want in life, their beliefs, goals, dreams, the experiences that made them who they are, their heritage etc is a most invigorating, fascinating and satisfying thing to do.

For me, taking the time to get to know me is the greatest gift I could ever receive. Allowing me to get to know you is an honor. To be known and understood ….there is nothing that compares to it.

Words and actions which reflect this understanding are important to me. I don’t need to be wined, dined, and showered with gifts. An impromptu picnic somewhere in nature means a lot to me. A card that reminds you of me, a seashell, a flower…that is what reflects your understanding of me and makes me feel special.

It is also very important to me that the other person be secure enough in themselves to not be threatened by my need to be my own person with my own interests, pals, activities, and alone time. I am not a “2 will become 1” kind of person, nor do I want to carry someone around in my pocket 24/7.

The ability to be comfortable with separateness and the advantages it provides to both the one and the couple is paramount for me to feel safe and loved.

[Andrew, Jr.]

For me to feel love it has to be genuine. It's a bond. A connection. This leads to true happiness. It is more than phone calls, text messages, hugs, dog walks, or a meal. It is everything. And it doesn't have to be limited to romantic only. I am thinking of all the relationships I have. I am truely blessed with them.