What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

[Martina]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

One thing I have noticed is that some of the most dramatic butches I have ever dated accused me of drama whenever I was calling them on their shit or bringing up something that I was dealing with. Whenever it was their issue or their bringing up subjects, not surprisingly, it was no longer considered drama.

I pretty much now consider that word to be provocative and looking to cause an argument in order to be proved right. That's like calling someone over-sensitive and if they chose to get defensive, then you can say "look, see you are getting irate already!" It is a manipulative trick that people use to derail a discussion of hand.

If someone in their personal ad or in the very early stages of dating says, "no drama," I consider it a big red flag and seriously consider giving them a pass. I have found that the people who say "no drama" actually seem to be the biggest drama queens.

Re the other stuff, I have found that a small percentage of butches who are attracted to femmes don't actually like us. They are angry because of rejection or whatever. Or maybe they would just prefer to hang out with their buds for the most part, but they need sex and some kind of domestic life, I guess, so they enter relationships with femmes. I don't see many of these folks, but I have met a few. Definitely people to avoid.

[imperfect_cupcake]

" Or maybe they would just prefer to hang out with their buds for the most part, but they need sex and some kind of domestic life, I guess, so they enter relationships with femmes."

yeah... I dunno. I've met those and it's usually they don't want to hang out at all, except to go to the pub or a party with and come over for sex and breckfast. I find those relationships didn't evolve because I don't want to play sports/watch sports with them and sports was their life. They need a femme teammate. But I also watched those ones screw around with each other's gf's off the rugby pitch. HEAPS of drama. That's the other thing, loads and loads of shit stirring and trouble making (drama) and it only becomes "drama" when they are caught doing something shitty and have to answer to it.

I personally avoid "Drama" as in the RADA version, by avoiding shit stirers, drinkers and people addicted to fast commitments and romance now. My life is far, far more peaceful. Do I get into arguments? Sure!! I'm no carpet. But these days I say something once and once only- after that I leave.

[Tony]

Simply said:
Dishonesty.
Cheating.
Emotionally unavailable.

[Jar]

Originally Posted by Tony

Simply said:
Dishonesty.
Cheating.
Emotionally unavailable.

Totally agree

[C0LLETTE]

1.Life is short so if you haven't managed to create an interesting life for yourself, don't expect me to create or provide one for you

2. Don't constantly rehash stuff that I thought we both agreed was resolved long ago. I probably can't remember it; it isn't worth remembering; or you're just trying to push my buttons and I find that kind of behaviour abusive...particularly the second time round.

3. You better like my kids and they better like you.

[SirenManda]

Pretty simple:

Have compassion for those around you.
Be honest even when it hurts me.
Support OUR goals, no one gets ahead if one of us is behind.

[Christina]

1. Understand that I am old enough for the truth to hurt… so don’t lie!

2. Understand that when you cheat on me… You cheat on US!

3. Understand that the things you projected to capture my heart are the things that will keep it… don’t pretend to be anyone but your true self…