What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

Jar · 04-14-2014, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tony

Simply said:
Dishonesty.
Cheating.
Emotionally unavailable.

Totally agree

C0LLETTE · 04-14-2014, 06:18 PM

1.Life is short so if you haven't managed to create an interesting life for yourself, don't expect me to create or provide one for you

2. Don't constantly rehash stuff that I thought we both agreed was resolved long ago. I probably can't remember it; it isn't worth remembering; or you're just trying to push my buttons and I find that kind of behaviour abusive...particularly the second time round.

3. You better like my kids and they better like you.

SirenManda · 04-21-2014, 09:30 AM

Pretty simple:

Have compassion for those around you.
Be honest even when it hurts me.
Support OUR goals, no one gets ahead if one of us is behind.

Christina · 04-22-2014, 02:57 PM

1. Understand that I am old enough for the truth to hurt… so don’t lie!

2. Understand that when you cheat on me… You cheat on US!

3. Understand that the things you projected to capture my heart are the things that will keep it… don’t pretend to be anyone but your true self…

Femmadian · 04-24-2014, 04:11 PM

I think this list will invariably change and expand depending on where you are in your life, but for me at the moment:

1) Supportive of my dreams and ambitions. I don't like feeling like I'm in competition with my partner or that I'm getting little condescending "awww, how cute" head-pats when I describe how ambitious I am. I have a lot of goals, (hopefully) a long life ahead of me, and yes, a long way to get there. I want someone who will help build me up while I work towards them, someone who will be in my corner when I need them. I can't abide by someone who just wants to tear me down or domesticate/tame me. I deserve better.

2) A kind heart. Regularly walk by homeless people without even acknowledging their humanity? Think it's foolish that I took in a starving stray and her six kittens? Describe all your exes as "crazy" or clueless or heartless b*tches? Move along.

3) The ability to see the many shades of grey. Life isn't all black and white, sometimes morality and the choices people have to make are relative, and you, my dear, are as fallible as the rest of us. No use in stating your moral superiority and pointing the finger all the time... When people look back at the advice you gave or the support you offered during a difficult time in their lives, I want them to look back on you fondly and I want you to make me proud to call you mine. :-)

04-22-2014, 02:57 PM	#4
Christina Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: San Fernando Valley Posts: 42 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 195 Thanked 128 Times in 29 Posts Rep Power: 1477036	3 - Non-Negotiables 1. Understand that I am old enough for the truth to hurt… so don’t lie! 2. Understand that when you cheat on me… You cheat on US! 3. Understand that the things you projected to capture my heart are the things that will keep it… don’t pretend to be anyone but your true self…

04-14-2014, 06:18 PM	#2
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,171 Times in 4,339 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	1.Life is short so if you haven't managed to create an interesting life for yourself, don't expect me to create or provide one for you 2. Don't constantly rehash stuff that I thought we both agreed was resolved long ago. I probably can't remember it; it isn't worth remembering; or you're just trying to push my buttons and I find that kind of behaviour abusive...particularly the second time round. 3. You better like my kids and they better like you.

04-21-2014, 09:30 AM	#3
SirenManda Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: . Posts: 257 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 162 Thanked 959 Times in 232 Posts Rep Power: 6492221	Pretty simple: Have compassion for those around you. Be honest even when it hurts me. Support OUR goals, no one gets ahead if one of us is behind.

04-24-2014, 04:11 PM	#5
Femmadian Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: Isla Nublar Posts: 385 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,296 Thanked 2,400 Times in 362 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	I think this list will invariably change and expand depending on where you are in your life, but for me at the moment: 1) Supportive of my dreams and ambitions. I don't like feeling like I'm in competition with my partner or that I'm getting little condescending "awww, how cute" head-pats when I describe how ambitious I am. I have a lot of goals, (hopefully) a long life ahead of me, and yes, a long way to get there. I want someone who will help build me up while I work towards them, someone who will be in my corner when I need them. I can't abide by someone who just wants to tear me down or domesticate/tame me. I deserve better. 2) A kind heart. Regularly walk by homeless people without even acknowledging their humanity? Think it's foolish that I took in a starving stray and her six kittens? Describe all your exes as "crazy" or clueless or heartless btches? Move along. 3) The ability to see the many shades of grey.* Life isn't all black and white, sometimes morality and the choices people have to make are relative, and you, my dear, are as fallible as the rest of us. No use in stating your moral superiority and pointing the finger all the time... When people look back at the advice you gave or the support you offered during a difficult time in their lives, I want them to look back on you fondly and I want you to make me proud to call you mine. :-)