Something horrible just happened

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by anaisninja

I don't even know where to put this post.

(And for the first time since I joined this forum, the chat room is not working tonight.)

The woman I thought liked me, went up to move her truck and never came back.

On our date.

I feel... like I've just been stabbed. Like there is something deeply, terribly wrong with me. Like I'm not worth loving. Or even fucking.

This has never happened to me. No one has ever treated me this way. Except for the woman in Illinois. So that is twice in 2 weeks now.

For a split second, when she went to go move her truck, I thought - if she doesn't come back I'm going to quit my job and leave the state. But I didn't believe it. I didn't believe a person could be so cruel. But then, she never came back.

Maybe this is a message from the Universe. I can't go to work tomorrow, even though it's my 3rd day on the job. That's it. I give up. I'm done.

I feel your pain and your confusion...i wish i could hug you!

You see, i had the same thing happen...but i had been living with him for six months. I lived with him in Oregon, and we decided to move back to California for awhile and were staying with his Mom until we found a place. We went to dinner at my Dad's house, and he excused himself to get some tums out of his truck.

He never came back.

I ran up and down the street, and around the corner to the store (no cell phones then), and when he wasn't laying dead somewhere i called his Mom. I told her that the least he could do was bring my luggage to my Dad's and leave it in the driveway. He did, and i didn't see him again until he brought my car from Oregon...he wanted to "talk it out", and i told him to fuck off.

I already had trust and abandonment issues, and i gotta tell you i was at the point where i had relationship issues for a very long time...but my wife finally broke through.

Please remember that it is smethng lacking in their very soul, and it is not you.

God bless

[Martina]

She is a coward. I know it hurts, but it's not worth risking your new job for. Your life is more than whether a stranger wants you or not. Over a long life, you'll find that lots of them will, and lots of them won't.

Dating can be cruel. It's hard. You might want to take a break, but don't stop taking care of yourself.

The job, your health, your basic needs, your friends -- all that comes first. Fuck that woman. What a jerk.

[anaisninja]

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

I feel your pain and your confusion...i wish i could hug you!

You see, i had the same thing happen...but i had been living with him for six months. I lived with him in Oregon, and we decided to move back to California for awhile and were staying with his Mom until we found a place. We went to dinner at my Dad's house, and he excused himself to get some tums out of his truck.

He never came back.

I ran up and down the street, and around the corner to the store (no cell phones then), and when he wasn't laying dead somewhere i called his Mom. I told her that the least he could do was bring my luggage to my Dad's and leave it in the driveway. He did, and i didn't see him again until he brought my car from Oregon...he wanted to "talk it out", and i told him to fuck off.

I already had trust and abandonment issues, and i gotta tell you i was at the point where i had relationship issues for a very long time...but my wife finally broke through.

Please remember that it is smethng lacking in their very soul, and it is not you.

God bless

Miss Tinkerbelle - what happened to you was even more horrible than what happened to me. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. And now - as much as it pains me - I can say that I fully understand how you must've felt.

What is wrong with people? I don't understand what's happening. I am usually very prudent about who I let into my life, and have always thought I was a good judge of character. It's only been since I've been pursuing women and getting my heart involved that my judgment appears to have been screwy. I don't want to give up on this or get bitter. But the idea of putting myself out there, making myself vulnerable, and going through something like last night again just makes me feel sick to my stomach. I need some time to sort this out.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by anaisninja

What is wrong with people? I don't understand what's happening. I am usually very prudent about who I let into my life, and have always thought I was a good judge of character. It's only been since I've been pursuing women and getting my heart involved that my judgment appears to have been screwy. I don't want to give up on this or get bitter. But the idea of putting myself out there, making myself vulnerable, and going through something like last night again just makes me feel sick to my stomach. I need some time to sort this out.

You do need time to sort it out and to process it.

Men or women-everyone is just human and we are all fucked up in our own way.

We all have had our heart broken at one time or another. In time, you take the good from the experience and leave the rest.

Maybe you thought that dating women would be different from men?

Again, we are just human beings doing our best to get through this world. Women are no more perfect or less likely to hurt another than are men.

I think that there are not a lot of people in this world that deliberately try to hurt another. Sometimes we just react first and think later.

It is just like riding a bike. When you have healed from this, get back on the dating bike.

There are tons of good people out there. You just met a couple of perhaps not-so-good ones.

I am sure these are just words to you now but in a month or two, you will look back on this and it will already be in your rear-view mirror.